Of War's End and Fruit Tarts
by Omoni
Summary: A collection of related drabbles involving mostly Zuko and Mai, and their relationship during the new time of peace and conflict. Some are fluffy, some are intense, and some are just plain odd. Finally complete!
1. Tea and Sympathy

_Writer's Note: Hello, and welcome a place I'd like to call "the dumping ground for related fics". In this section there will mostly be fics based on the Fire Nation post-war, mostly exploring Mai and Zuko's relationship. Updates will be slow, but they will happen (unless I someday decide to change the status to "Complete". So with that all said and done, enjoy!_

**Warning: Occurs one year post-series and contains spoilers**

Sometimes, when everything got too overwhelming, when everything got too stressful or confusing, Zuko did something that no one, except a precious few, knew about.

At first, it had only been Iroh that knew about it, because that was inevitable. But then Mai, who was far more stubborn than he gave her credit for, found out as well, and started following him around while he did it. And soon, pretty much everyone he had fought beside in those horrible days past knew about it.

It wasn't hard. Like his father before him, and his father before him, for as long as anyone could remember, no one really knew what the Fire Lord looked like, and Zuko was no exception.

When he found out, however, he was surprised (and mildly insulted, if he were to be honest). He had figured that of all people he would be the most memorable, since he, needless to say, stood out quite a bit.

But the first time he went, he needed have worried; the only person that recognised him was his uncle. Everyone else thought he was just a man down on his luck.

That first time was a humbling memory.

* * *

Zuko trudged into his chambers, slamming the ornate doors behind him. The bickering had gone on and on (and on and on), and every time it started again, he wanted to reach out and throttle the very person who started it.

It was always about the territories, always about the land claimed during the Wars, and always about who got what and why. No matter how calm he was (which was a struggle all in itself), it always went in a full circle, and if it wasn't for Mai's reassuring hand on his arm throughout the whole exchange, he would have probably gone insane.

But it was finally over for the day, he thought, practically ripping off his ceremonial clothes and kicking off his shoes violently...at the same time. He yelped, his legs tangling up in his robes, and he tripped, falling ass over teakettle onto the floor.

From behind him came a husky chuckle, and his humiliation was complete.

"Just kill me," he moaned from his new place on the ground.

Mai walked over to him and leaned over him, her eyes dancing with amusement. "But then who would entertain me?" she wondered.

"Don't you care that I'm tangled up?" Zuko demanded, his cheeks burning.

"No," Mai replied, stepping over him.

Zuko fumed, then used this humiliation as fuel to get himself free. He tossed the heap of clothes towards Mai, who merely leaned to the side and let it go past. "Don't get huffy with me because your men and women are a bunch of morons," she scolded him, kicking at his discarded robes.

"Don't make fun of me because I'm tired then!" Zuko shot back.

Mai sighed, shaking her head a little. She walked over to him and placed a hand on his scarred cheek. He would have flinched, but he saw no pity or disgust in her eyes as her fingers made contact with the rough skin. She looked right into his eyes and said, softly, "You're wearing down, aren't you?"

Zuko sagged, physically. Her words seemed to drain the very anger out of him, and only because she finally forced him see why he was really angry in the first place. He nodded slowly. She was quiet, and he took that as a sign.

"It's like..." Zuko leaned into her hand a little, and she held it still. "It's like no matter how hard I try to change their minds, all they care about is how much land they get to keep. It doesn't matter that the land is stolen...not to them!"

Mai patted his cheek. "Zuko, these people have lived in the Earth Kingdom for generations. Some don't even know any other place."

Zuko's eyes flashed. "So what?" he growled, pulling away from her. He reached up and, in one practised move, freed his hair from its topknot. His shaggy hair fell down around his face and neck. "_So what?_" he repeated, tossing the hair ornament across the room.

Mai waited until it hit the wall and fell to the floor before going on. "_So_," she said, her voice low. "You can't ask people to leave their homes overnight just because it technically belongs to someone else."

Zuko didn't turn around, but his stance was rigid. "It's not _their_ land. It's _stolen _land, land my father stole! I'm just trying to..." his voice broke, and at once his shoulders slumped. "I'm just trying to..."

Mai reached up and placed her hands on his shoulders. "You're an idiot," she said softly. "You can't do these things overnight, no matter how loud you yell. You need to at least _pretend_ to be patient."

Zuko sighed again, leaning back into her embrace. She slid her hands down to his chest, and he closed his eyes. "I just want to make things right," he whispered.

"You can't do it overnight," Mai repeated. "Forget about it for tonight." She smiled into his shoulder. "Let's boss your servants around, like we used to, until the sun comes up."

Zuko smiled, a small laugh escaping him. "What would you do to them?" he wondered.

"Oh, you know, make them wear stupid clothes, have them find me stupid things. The usual."

He opened his eyes and tilted his head back, looking into her sly face. "You're so beautiful when you're devious," he teased her.

Mai gave him a sour look, and he chuckled again. Her words, however, had given him an idea. He pulled away from her and walked back to the wardrobe, opening it and pulling out some clothes.

"Uh," Mai frowned, crossing her arms. "What are you doing?"

Zuko held up the clothes. They were faded, made of a soft cotton material. Peasant clothes. "I, uh, was thinking of going out," he muttered sheepishly, looking away.

"Where?"

"Out."

Mai's hand flashed in the dim light, and before he could say anything, his arm was pinned to the wardrobe. Caught in his sleeve was a shuriken. He winced.

"Where?" Mai repeated.

Zuko groaned. "Why do I have to explain myself to you?"

"Because the last time you went out, you dumped me," she answered flatly.

"Do you always have to bring that up?" he wondered.

Mai smiled. "It's my right," she replied.

Zuko yanked the shuriken out of his sleeve and tossed it over his shoulder. "I'm not going to do anything stupid," he snapped. "I'm just going out. I don't have to explain anything to you! I'm the Fire Lord, not you!"

Mai said nothing. She stood, her arms crossed, her eyes narrowed.

Zuko turned on his heel and walked out, leaving her behind. He slammed the doors after him.

As he walked, he pulled on the muted clothing as quickly as he could, muttering resentfully as he went. At one point, he tripped again, but mercifully, no one was around to catch him.

Since he was small, he knew his way around the Palace better than anyone. At times, it was explored with Azula as a game. Other times, it was to hide from Azula during one of_ her_ games. But it came in handy now, when he, probably the first Fire Lord in Fire Nation history, used the secret passageways as his own refuge from his own people.

It would have been funny, except that Zuko was at the end of his rope. His turmoil could be summed up in one neat and tidy sentence:

_If I stay another second in there, I'm going to scream._

Once he made it outside, he breathed, deeply. The evening was slowly turning to night, and the humidity was finally leaving the air. He already felt a little better, but he knew it would take more than a lungful of air to ease his frustration.

He looked around, getting his bearings, before heading into town, and towards the boatyards. He was a little nervous, and horribly afraid of being caught (a fear he remembered quite well from his past), but he needn't of worried.

"Papers," the boat's warden snapped at him, blocking him from the dock.

Zuko inhaled sharply, about to explode, but he managed to keep it in check. "I don't have any papers," he said calmly.

"No papers, no boat," was the reply.

"Wait!" Zuko grabbed the man's arm, pulling him back. "Don't you know who I am?"

The warden looked him over slowly, from his shaggy hair, to his scarred face, to the muted clothes he wore. With a raised eyebrow, he replied, "A refugee from Ba Sing Se?"

Zuko felt a wave of his frustration wash over him like a familiar smell, but once again he barely managed to stave it off. His hands sparked a little, but only just. "Yes," he replied. "Yes! You see, uh..." he shifted, trying to think quickly. He wasn't too good at thinking of excuses on the fly. "I was, uh, visiting here, and...uh...now I want to go home...to Ba Sing Se."

"With...no...papers?"

Zuko flushed. "Uh, you see, I was eating at a restaurant, and, uh, this lizard-gull attacked me, and-"

The warden rolled his eyes. "And ate your papers?"

Zuko lowered his eyes. "Yes?"

The man laughed. It was the loudest, most grating noise that Zuko had ever heard. "You're full of it, and you know it." He turned to go.

Zuko grabbed him again. "Wait! I can..." he reached frantically into his cloak's pocket, fishing out a couple of pieces of gold. "Money!" he held it out, desperately.

"You want to bribe me?"

Zuko swallowed, then smiled, trying to make it like one of Aang's carefree and happy smiles. "Yes!" he agreed.

The man raised an eyebrow and took the pieces, looking at them closely. He jumped in shock, his eyes wide. "These are royal crown pieces!" he exclaimed.

Zuko's smile felt more like a grimace now, but he held it. "I'm...rich?"

The man grinned and slapped him on the shoulder. "You're on!" he declared. He then shouted to his men to cast out.

Zuko stepped onto the boat with heavy steps. He looked back at the Palace, narrowing his eyes at it a little, before turning back to the boat.

_Just a bit longer..._he thought.

* * *

It wasn't until the next morning that they reached Ba Sing Se.

If Zuko were to be honest with himself, he would admit that he was actually very surprised by the speed of the trip. Even though some part of him knew that the warships had to be used somehow, he had never imagined that their superior speed and durability would actually make great travelling ships. It was sort of ironic, actually.

In any case, he was able to allude the ship's master the entire time, afraid of being asked too many questions and then being discovered. He was gaped at a little, and the first few times he actually felt really afraid, until he realised that it was his scar, and not his identity, that was the attention-grabber.

When the ship docked, Zuko practically sprinted into the town in order to get away. He was hungry, tired, and despite a night's sleep, still incredibly frustrated at the lack of progress he was making with the colonies.

_I need...a break._

When he finally reached his destination, he hesitated. Of all of the places to be recognised, this was probably the worst, seeing as how it was right in the middle of a city his father had burned. It was unlikely he would be received with happiness.

Except for one thing.

He took in a breath, then walked in through the double doors, peering in.

The teahouse was exactly as he remembered. It was vibrant, with green and yellow motifs everywhere. The bright and airy space, coupled with the fragrant scents and the murmur of conversation, enveloped Zuko like a blanket. Instantly, he felt his muscles relax, and he practically hunched over in the doorway, feeling relief for the first time in months.

A cheerful young woman greeted him. He requested a table for one, close to the kitchen, which he got. The hostess' gaze lingered on his face for a moment before she turned to the next person in the doorway.

Carefully, not wanting to call attention to himself, Zuko opened a menu and hid behind it, peering over it and taking everyone in.

"Ah! A familiar face! What took you so long?"

The voice was familiar, warm, and welcome...or would have been. Zuko ducked lower behind the menu, but it was plucked from his hands and tossed aside.

"Like you don't know what's on the menu," Iroh teased him, his familiar and jovial face alight with joy. "One that you helped me write!"

Zuko froze, feeling exposed. Indeed, everyone was staring at the two men: One a weary stranger and the other the owner of the teahouse. Zuko felt the blood leave his cheeks and his stomach turn to ice.

Iroh, however, was completely nonplussed. With one swoop, he dragged Zuko to his feet and yanked him into a full-bodied hug. Instantly, the younger man forgot the eyes around him, instead focusing on the familiar embrace of his uncle. He hugged back, almost melting, and instantly he felt many years younger.

"What are you doing here, my nephew?" Iroh wondered, pulling away. Zuko squeezed his uncle's shoulders before sitting down again, but he didn't answer. Instead, he met Iroh's eyes and asked, "May I have some tea?"

His voice was so soft and tired that it surprised Iroh. "Of course," he agreed. "Anything you want, on the house. Or," and here he smiled, "at the price of knowing why you're here."

Zuko smiled, his heart feeling warm. "Deal," he agreed.

It wasn't a long wait. Only ten minutes had passed before Iroh returned with fritters and a pot of ginseng tea. He sat down across from Zuko, poured two cups of tea, then waited.

Zuko hesitated, unsure of how to express himself, so instead he grabbed a fritter and stuffed it into his mouth.

And shouted, spitting it back out and waving a hand in front of his mouth. It was incredibly fresh, and incredibly hot.

Everyone in the teahouse gaped at him, and he went pale again, frozen by the stares.

Iroh chuckled, waiting until Zuko sat back down and hid behind the menu again before speaking. "As impulsive as ever, I see. Always reacting, never thinking before doing something, and then you end up always surprised by the results and consequences."

Zuko's hands crumpled the menu, and he slapped it down. "I'm not a kid anymore," he snapped, getting defensive once more. "I don't do those kinds of things anymore!"

Iroh sipped his tea before answering. "And yet, here you are, in my teahouse, halfway across the world, when instead you should be sitting on the throne and hearing out the colonization reports."

Zuko's eyes widened, then looked from side to side, checking to see if anyone had heard that. "Are you crazy?" he hissed loudly. "Don't say that kind of stuff that loud! You'll get me caught!"

Iroh stared at him. "Who is going to catch you?" he wondered. "You?"

Zuko blinked, struck speechless. Iroh chuckled. "You forget that _you _are the one in charge now," he continued. "No one exists over you, and only _you _can answer for your own actions."

Iroh set his cup down and stared Zuko right in the eyes. The younger man gulped. "Now, tell me. Why are you here?"

Zuko opened his mouth, ready to lie, but the words he planned to say didn't come out. "I'm so sick of it!" he snapped. "I'm so sick of the selfishness and the ignorance!"

Iroh nodded slowly, his eyes still on Zuko's. He went on. "All I'm trying to do is make it fair for everyone! All I want is to make things right again! Nobody but me, and Aang, seems to get that things as they were before Sozin's comet were wrong!" He leaned down, his hands reaching up and getting tangled into his hair. He shut his eyes, his frustration finally bubbling up and out. "All I want is for everyone to just be happy! All I want...all I want is peace!" His voice broke, and he winced, lowering his head further.

Iroh stayed silent, but inside his heart was aching for his nephew.

"I'm so tired," Zuko whispered. "I'm just so tired...I just sort of...lost my mind last night. I had to get away...so I did." He looked up again, and his eyes were wavering. "So I ran off."

Iroh exhaled sharply. "Mai isn't going to be amused by that," he said lightly.

Zuko tugged at his hair. "It's not the same as last time, and both of you know it!"

Iroh held up a hand. "You're right," he acceded. "I'm sorry. This is just a momentary lull, right?" And here his voice became stern. "You will return before nightfall tonight, correct?"

Zuko nodded, his eyes closing. "Yes," he whispered. "I will."

Iroh smiled. "Then for now, we shall have a wonderful morning together, you and I! Tell me; has Aang come to visit you yet?"

Zuko smiled gratefully, and soon fell into familiar patterns with his uncle; indeed, he put up with much teasing and lecturing, and in return insulted his uncle's laziness and addiction to luxury, but nothing felt as good in a long, long time.

And, like he promised, he was back at the Palace before the day was out.

* * *

The moment he closed the doors to his chambers, he was pinned to the wall by several shuriken. He didn't even bother fighting it; he knew he deserved it.

Mai stood in front of him, her eyes blazing. She didn't say a word.

"I didn't dump you," Zuko snapped.

Mai rolled her eyes. "You're such a moron," she muttered.

And like that, it was all that was said about it.

That is, until the next time it happened.

* * *

Zuko had managed to get away with not telling Mai about where he had gone that night, although he was pretty sure that she, of all people, would understand. However, there was something inside him that stopped him from telling her, and it wasn't until she found out that he realised that it was shame.

While his council had definitely noticed his absence the last time, they didn't say a word about it. For some reason, Zuko took this as a sign that maybe, just maybe, it wasn't unusual for a Fire Lord to vanish for a while.

So he wondered if, this time, he could get away with more than one day.

This time, he had tried to sneak out while Mai was sleeping. He had tiptoed around their bed and towards the wardrobe, reaching in carefully and pulled out the bag that he had packed several days before. He had honestly never thought he would have to use it, but that day had been particularly bad, resulting in him losing his temper and freaking out in front of everyone...

He sighed quietly, shamefaced at the memory. Carefully, trying not to make a sound, he slipped the back onto his back and snuck out of the bedroom, tiptoeing his way through his chambers.

He had his hand on the door when a knife was thrust under his chin. The cold touch of metal stopped him, and he felt that all-familiar wave of adrenaline course through him. His hands went to his sides, his palms itched...

"Don't even try it," a low, husky voice warned. "It's cheap to use bending against someone who can't do it back."

"Says the woman with a knife at my throat!"

Mai pulled away, and Zuko turned to face her, furious. "You...you had a knife at my throat!" he sputtered.

Mai looked at her nails. "And you were going to firebend me," she answered boredly. "We're even."

"We are _not!_" He exploded, before stopping. His eyes went to her clothes. "Are you wearing Earth Kingdom clothes? And how did you even catch up to me?"

Mai looked up, deciding to answer the first question. "Yes, because I'm going with you," she answered.

"Why?"

"Because you're taking me to wherever you're going, and you're going to like it," she answered. A small smile played on her lips. "You never take me on vacation."

"I'm not going on vacation!" Zuko shouted.

Mai didn't even twitch. "You have a bag, you're wearing normal clothes, and your hair is down. You're going on vacation."

"Go back to the room!"

"No. You can't tell me what to do anyway, and this time, you're not leaving without me." Zuko opened his mouth, but suddenly Mai's eyes blazed, and he froze. "You are not. Leaving. Without me," she repeated, her voice steely.

Zuko felt the anger leave him at once, hearing the hurt in her voice. He lowered his head, embarrassed. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"It's alright; I know you're stupid," Mai replied. "I just want to know where you're running away to while abandoning all of your duties and responsibilities."

Zuko looked up. She was smiling. He smiled back, weakly. "I'll show you."

* * *

"Oh," Mai said, her voice flat. "How...boring."

Zuko turned on her. "It's not boring!" he snapped. She smiled at him in amusement. "Stop getting me mad for fun!" he fumed.

"Ah, you again!" the hostess smiled, noticing Zuko in the doorway. "And you brought a friend!"

"She's my girlfriend," Zuko responded hotly.

Mai rolled her eyes. "Whatever," she answered.

The hostess smiled nervously. "Would you like the same table as before, sir?"

"Yes!" was the reply. Without waiting, Zuko stormed passed the hostess and to the table in question, sitting down in a huff. "And I want to speak to the owner!"

The hostess paled, but Mai shook her head. "Don't worry," she said coolly. "He's just in the middle of a temper tantrum."

"I am not! Stop doing that!"

Mai smirked, making her way to the table, but as she sat down, she said nothing. Zuko pretended to ignore her, which further amused her.

Needless to say, the second visit was far more lively than the first. With Mai there, Zuko was able to vent his anger instead of bottling it up inside, which was, he knew, her intention in the first place. Of everyone that he was close to, only Sokka came as close as Mai when it came to getting under his skin, but it was only Mai that did it in order to get him to vent it out instead of letting it fester inside of him.

With Iroh lecturing and spoiling him, and Mai poking fun of him and pretending to be bored by his outbursts, it was as close to any kind of home that he could ever feel. It was familiar, and comforting, and actually really fun.

* * *

He and Mai were away for three days. Iroh said nothing, but on the third day he did give him a stern look, one that was serious, and he got the message.

This time, his absence was not ignored. The council was practically hysterical by the time he returned on the fourth day, demanding to know where he had been and why he had left when the proceedings were making progress.

Zuko, instead, ignored the question and got back to the debates.

* * *

Zuko and Mai managed to sneak out to Ba Sing Se twice more before being caught by someone else. It was unlucky, because it was one of the most merciless people that he ever knew.

"Oh, ho, ho," the high-pitched and very loud voice declared from the doorway of the teahouse. "If it isn't Prince Cranky and Miss Icy-Cool."

Zuko groaned and hid behind the menu, but of course that wouldn't work. Mai raised an eyebrow, and Iroh stood up, laughing. "Ah, if it isn't Toph, gracing me with her immense presence! To what do I owe this occasion?"

Toph strolled into the teahouse like she owned it, grinning from ear-to-ear. She was dressed up in a long and fancy gown, but it was already muddy and tattered, and her hair was coming loose from its complicated plait and dangling into her unfocused eyes. "I was just here with my mother," she replied, somewhat evasively, since her mother was no where to be seen.

Iroh, however, didn't seem to notice this. "Well, as you can see - so to speak - you're not the only familiar face! Come, sit with us, and have some tea."

Toph grinned, her eyes flashing, and she did so, sitting right next Iroh and across from Zuko.

Mai looked at Toph, her eyebrows quirked. "Miss Icy-Cool?" she echoed.

Toph turned towards her, giving a laugh. "Yeah, well, you're not exactly the warmest of the bunch, are you?"

Zuko glared at her. "Why are you here?" he demanded.

Toph turned towards him, frowning. She reached up and dug a finger into her ear nonchalantly. "I'm here because Iroh is my friend," she answered. She pulled her finger out, sniffed it, then dug in again. "Just because you're here doesn't mean I have to leave."

"She has a point," Iroh replied, sipping his tea.

"You have to keep this to yourself, Toph!" Zuko snapped. "No one else has to know about this! It could seriously decrease morale!"

Mai sipped her tea. "Or make you look stupid."

Both Iroh and Toph laughed at his, and Zuko went red. "I _mean_ it!" he pressed. "Keep this to yourself!"

Toph rolled her eyes and wiped her finger on her dress, leaving a faint smudge. "Fine, whatever!" she answered.

Zuko breathed in a little, so sure that that was the last of it.

* * *

"Zuko! Fancy meeting you here!"

Zuko groaned, recognising that cheerful - and so obviously lying - voice anywhere. Beside him, Mai chuckled, taking great pleasure in his predicament.

When he looked up, he saw both Aang and Katara standing before him, smiling so hard that they looked ready to burst into laughter.

"I'm gonna kill that dirty little..." Zuko muttered.

"Oh, don't blame Toph," Katara answered, sitting across from Mai. "You would have been busted eventually."

"Yeah," Aang agreed, sitting across from him. "Everyone comes here, anyway. It's not that big of a surprise."

Mai looked around mildly. "Where's Sokka?" she wondered.

Zuko shot a look at her. "Why do _you_ want to know?" he wondered hotly.

Mai rolled her eyes. "So that I can jump him," she answered flatly. "Because he's always with Katara and Aang, you moron."

Zuko glowered at her.

"Sokka is with my father," Katara broke in. Zuko sent her a grateful look. "He and my father are trying to help the North Pole settlers...settle."

Aang grinned. "Which means more waterbenders for the South Pole."

"Which means a relief," Katara agreed.

Zuko looked up, curious now. "You mean no one from the Water Tribes want to settle outside of Tribal lands?" he wondered.

Aang turned to him, his eyes serious now. "It's not like it wasn't discussed," he admitted. "Some want to, and they're welcome to, but it's a bit awkward, since land disputes are already such a sticky issue."

Zuko leaned forward towards Aang. "Is it going to be an issue?" he wondered. "Will my people become a problem?"

Aang chewed on his lip, thinking about it. "Only the stubborn ones seem to take issue with it, but they were always the problem to begin with."

Mai and Katara exchanged glances of annoyance. Katara made a face, like she was gagging and Mai crossed her eyes. Both girls snickered.

Zuko clutched at his hair, feeling the all-familiar frustration well up in him. "I keep telling them that the land belongs to everyone. Why are they so ignor-"

"Ugh," Mai finally broke in. "Zuko, Aang, shut up. We came here to avoid talking about this. Shut up and drink your tea, or I'm going to pour it down your pants."

Katara and Aang laughed. Only Zuko knew that she was being dead-serious.

Conversation went to lighter topics from there; how Ty Lee was faring on Kyoshi island, whether or not King Bumi had finished repairs in Omashu, and so on. Iroh eventually joined in and asked questions of his own.

But Zuko knew that by the end of the week, everyone within their circle would know he was running away.

And it bothered him.

* * *

It was several weeks after the most recent visit that Mai brought up the fact that they hadn't gone to Ba Sing Se in a while. Zuko winced, but ignored her, and she let it go.

It was only when Aang was in the Palace to check up on the proceedings that it was brought up again.

"You know," Aang said, "we haven't seen you in a while. We keep checking in to see if you're there. Where have you been?"

Zuko stopped. They were walking together, on their way to the council room, when Aang asked him this. Zuko turned to the Avatar and gave him a look of disbelief. "You're joking," he said flatly.

Aang blinked, shaking his head. "Not this time," he replied.

Zuko sighed. "You of all people know that I can't run away all the time," he began.

Aang cut him off. "But you're not."

"Yes I am," was the reply. "I walk away without telling anyone, and come back without any explanation. They only take it because I'm the Fire Lord, but sooner or later..." Zuko smiled weakly. "Like everything, it's going to blow up in my face."

Aang looked at him for a moment in silence, which made him uncomfortable. "Why _do_ you keep leaving, Zuko?" he finally wondered.

Zuko looked away, still smiling. "Because I'm a coward who can't take the heat of politics?"

Aang shook his head. "No," he replied. "Because you're still young, and still trying to figure out what to do. Zuko, anyone would be stressed out under this much, not just you." He smiled. "And it's harder for you, because you don't know how to play games and have fun."

Zuko frowned at him sourly. "I know how to have fun!"

"No, you don't!" Aang laughed, like it had been a joke. Zuko fumed, but was interrupted again. "Going to your uncle's teahouse is keeping you sane, Zuko."

He froze, the words cutting deep. It was true, and they both knew it. "But it's...cowardly."

Aang looked up at him, his eyes grave and ancient. "You're always telling me how you're afraid of becoming your father," he said. "It makes me wonder if, all of this time, the Fire Lords of the past are so attached to their thrones that they forget what real life is all about. When you go out, do you feel like the Fire Lord?"

Zuko swallowed. "No," he replied, his mouth dry. "I feel...normal. Well," he placed a hand to his face, smiling faintly. "As normal as can be."

"And you mingle with people, and most of all, the colonials." Aang threw out his arms, smiling. "You experience first hand what you've been fighting about all along. Don't you get it? What you're doing is for your people, and it's nothing to be ashamed of!"

Zuko said nothing, but the truth of the words struck a chord deep inside of him. He knew Aang was right, but he still felt that strange shame inside of him.

Aang seemed able to tell. "It's not something that's going to go away overnight, but it's not something you should be losing sleep over, either." He placed a hand on the older man's arm. "You're only one man."

Zuko snorted out a laugh. "That's rich, coming from you."

Aang grinned. "Yeah, I guess that's true!"

Zuko grinned back. "Shall we face the den of bird-lions, then?"

"Of course. Their outbursts are funny."

Together, they turned towards the doors. "Wait," Zuko said suddenly. Aang turned to him. "Uh..." He went red, and looked down. "Thank you," he muttered.

Aang nodded. "We're in this together, you know."

Zuko looked up, smiled, and turned back to the doors.

And so it went on. Zuko, and sometimes Mai (who didn't follow each time anymore, claiming boredom), would venture to Ba Sing Se and stay with Iroh for a while, sometimes overnight, sometimes for days at a time. After a while, he even started to help around the teahouse, serving guests and mingling with the customers.

He wasn't very good at it, since he had a short fuse and tended to feel awkward in front of so many people, but he remembered how it was back when he was banished, and soon he and Iroh fell into old routines while he was there.

And eventually, it became a sort of running gag among his friends to show up while he was there and hang around him like his shadow (or try to boss him around, in Sokka's case). It was infuriating, but it was also comforting, being surrounded by familiar faces that he respected and loved.

The meetings were no less frustrating, but being around the common people allowed his perspectives to broaden, and he was able to argue his points better and with more knowledge than his councilmen and women could ever dream of. When asked about it, he always refused to answer, or avoid the question. Eventually, they just assumed that he just knew.

It was the sort of mystery that he liked to cloak around himself, and he kept it that way.


	2. Don't Panic

_Writer's Note: I have no idea. Don't even ask me. I think it's because I haven't written anything epic for Avatar yet. Sue me. _

**Warning: Takes place post-series and may contain spoilers.**

The bite of the steel was sharp and cold. It was so surprising that no one had even seen it coming. Mai, of all people, would have bet that she should have seen it coming. And maybe some part of her had. After all, she suddenly had gotten the urge to lean over and whisper something to Zuko, blocking him from view with her body. She forgot now what it had been. _Something important? Something about the meeting that had just dispersed?_

"Huh…urgh…" the sound of discontent she had intended to make dragged out into a sort of horrible grating noise in her throat. Zuko jerked, turning to her quickly, his eyes wide and suddenly blazing with both fear and fury. When she staggered, her hands going to her left side, Zuko was on his feet and grabbing a hold of her to steady her. Something hot and thick coated her hands, followed a split second later by white-hot pain, so sudden that she shut her eyes and gritted her teeth.

_Ah,_ some part of her mind concluded. _Assassin. Of course it was._

"Mai?" Zuko was shouting it, his voice high with panic. She felt him shaking her, too roughly if she had an opinion about it. "Mai? _Mai_?"

"From the back!" Aang's voice suddenly shouted out. There was a sound of running feet, of rushing wind, and a few confused shouts and cries from the crowd of politicians. There was the sound of a grunt, someone uttering an extremely rude word, and then, shocked silence.

Or would-be silence. Zuko's harsh breathing filled her ears, and she could feel, under her cheek, that his heart was racing.

"Don't panic," she whispered, opening her eyes halfway. His face, she saw, was stained with tears, and he was shaking so hard she felt it in her bones. "Don't…panic, Zuko."

"Don't panic?" he echoed, his voice hysteric. "_Don't panic_?" A harsh laugh ripped from his throat, and a tear fell from his nose and on her cheek. "How can I _not_ panic?"

Mai sighed, then wished she hadn't. It hurt to do that. She winced, then tried to attempt to roll her eyes at him. "You're…not supposed to," she answered. "Fire Lords don't panic."

"Got him, Zuko!" Aang's voice called out.

"I don't care!" Zuko snapped, his voice cracking. "Leave him, get a doctor! Get my uncle! Get Katara! Just…_so help me, Aang, if Mai dies_-,"

"You're panicking," Mai chastised, listening to Aang's flurried footsteps vanish from the room.

Zuko didn't answer. Carefully, he lay her on her back, clumsily shoving the hem of his gown into his mouth. With a jerk of his head, he tugged at it with his teeth, and after a few pulls (and a lot of cursing), he managed to free up a generous amount of cloth. He wadded it up with shaky hands, bunched it into one hand, and with the other he gently pulled Mai's away from her side, lifting up her shirt slowly. She hissed with pain but didn't make any other sound, knowing that it would just make it worse for him. With jerking moves, he pressed the wad of cloth down onto the wound, keeping his hands there and applying almost too much pressure.

"What…was it?" Mai wondered, closing her eyes for a moment.

A hand cupped her cheek, rubbing gently. "Open your eyes!" Zuko pleaded, and she did.

She repeated her question, and Zuko took a long time to answer, struggling to keep his panic buried. "Uh," he stammered. "Small knife. Clean through."

"Irony," she replied, trying to smile.

"Not funny," Zuko snapped, and she felt a little bad, but not enough to apologise. It _was_ ironic, really. "Why'd you do that? I could have taken it! Why are you so stupid?"

Mai sighed, placing a hand on his knee gently, the part of him closest to her hand. "Didn't mean to. Accident."

"Shut up, don't talk," he snapped. He reached up again, this time using his thumb to wipe the blood away from her mouth and chin. She hadn't even felt it there and was surprised. _What else can't I feel? On second thought, why can't I feel the pain anymore?_

She opened her mouth to say something cutting in reply, but choked on something thick and annoying at the back of her throat. Zuko's hands went to her shoulders, gripping tight, his face a mask of raw and naked fear. "Mai," he whispered.

"Pressure," she choked out. He blinked, bemused for a moment, then it clicked and he nodded, his hands going back to her side.

The sound of returning footsteps seemed almost too loud for Mai's ears, as if her senses were suddenly razor-sharp. For some reason, the sound was soothing, almost like a heartbeat, and Mai could feel her eyes closing.

Zuko's hand, cold and clammy, was back on her cheek. "Eyes open!" he snapped, his voice cracking. "Keep your eyes open!"

"Don't panic…" Mai whispered sleepily, feeling heavy and out of it. She tried to, but couldn't, open her eyes again.

"Open your eyes, then!" Zuko pleaded. There was the sound of scuffling, and suddenly Mai felt the presence of two other people around her. There was the sound of sharp breathing, and a weird sound, like a ragged grating noise. It was a split second later that she realised that the sound was of her own breathing.

_That can't be good. _

"Zuko, move your hands, please," Katara's voice said gently. The pressure at Mai's side didn't ease at all, and she wanted to laugh. _He's still panicking._

"She won't open her eyes," he answered, his voice choked. "I asked her to. She won't do it. She won't do it. Make her do it."

"Stop panicking," Mai muttered, her words slurred.

Cool fingers went to her throat, then to her forehead. "I understand you're scared," Katara's voice was calm, and gentle, but also firm. "But you need to move your hands so that I can help her."

"If she dies…"

"She won't if you move your hands."

Slowly, the pressure ceased from Mai's side, and she felt a strange tugging sensation, like a bandage being peeled away. _Not an inappropriate comparison. _There was the sound of sloshing water, a strange, vibrating noise, and then pain, like needles in her side. She jerked, her fingers clenching onto Zuko's knee, but she didn't utter more than a strangled mumble.

Soon, the sudden pain eased into a kind of numbing sensation, and she sighed, feeling her body relax. Her grip eased off of Zuko's knee, but Zuko snatched her hand up between his, holding it tight. She wanted to say something, but she was just so sleepy…

She heard him say her name, but then she slipped into comforting nothingness.

* * *

Mai woke up feeling horrible. She winced, struggling to open her eyes but not quite finding the motor skills for it yet. She felt sluggish, like she had heat stroke, and her side throbbed with each heartbeat. It was really, really annoying.

She stretched her fingers, first with her right hand, clenching them to get the blood into them. When she tried the same with the left, she found that she couldn't: something was blocking her fingers.

_Don't panic,_ she thought to herself, although she couldn't help the horrible images from flooding into her mind, like, _maybe I lost my hand somehow_ or _is it caught in something?_

Whatever held her hand tightened around her fingers and sent her heart into a flurry of racing. Her eyes snapped open finally, turning to the left, and quite suddenly her heart calmed, and she smiled faintly.

Zuko sat at her side, holding her hand to his lips, his eyes wide and brimming with tears. She tried to tighten her fingers around his hands, but he held them too tight. "Hello, Mai," he whispered, his breath hot against her skin.

She smiled wider, closing her eyes briefly in acknowledgment. Her throat felt sore, and too dry to use.

"You're okay," he whispered, his eyes closing tight, the tears spilling onto her hand. His voice was choked, and it seemed to Mai like he was trying to reassure himself.

She nodded, tugging a little on her hand, trying to get his attention. His eyes opened slowly, and with her free hand, she pantomimed drinking. To her delight, he went bright red, just as she had hoped; she _loved_ calling attention to his silliness and making him feel bad about it. Just because she was injured didn't make it any less fun.

He carefully placed her hand at her side before reaching over to a table at her side, pouring a glass of water from a pitcher. Carefully, he helped her sit up, then proceeded to try and _give_ it to her. She scowled at him, and he went even redder and just held out the glass. She took it and drank it down gratefully in one go.

Wiping her mouth, she gave the empty glass back to him. "Thanks," she said finally, her voice raspy. "Needed that."

Zuko stared at her, his face so sad that it almost broke her heart. He looked so haunted, so broken, that she reached up and cupped his face into her hands. He shut his eyes and leaned into her grasp, his hands going up to her forearms and holding tight.

"I_ told_ you not to panic," she scolded softly. "I'm _fine_."

Zuko shook his head slowly. "My fault," he whispered.

Mai duh her fingers into his cheeks, forcing him to wince and jerk away. Rubbing his cheeks, he frowned at her, but she merely smiled. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice flat. "Did you _ask_ that guy to throw a knife at you?"

Zuko's face went pink. He opened his mouth, but she cut him off. "Did you _ask_ me to lean over? Did you _ask_ that your people should be whiny little idiots who can't resolve anything other than by throwing things at each other?"

He made a face. She could tell that he wasn't sure if she was joking or not.

"The answer is _no_, Zuko," she sighed, rolling her eyes and leaning back onto the pillows that propped her up. "Oh, how I wish my boyfriend was smarter."

"But…" Zuko wasn't looking at her. His hands were on his lap, his fingers tangling into themselves. "If I hadn't asked you to come…"

"You'd be dead," she snapped, getting frustrated. His head jerked up, his eyes wide. "I was standing, you idiot. You were sitting. I got it on the _side_. Which was level with your _head_."

The colour left his face just as suddenly as it had appeared. He swallowed, hard, the reality of what could have happened hitting him like a club over the head.

Rolling her eyes, she reached over and shoved a finger up his nose. He yelped and batted her hand away, making squeaking noises of indignation. She laughed suddenly.

_I adore you, _she thought tenderly. _You take yourself way too seriously, but when faced with it, you're still the biggest dweeb in the Fire Nation._

"Mai!" he whined, as if sensing her thoughts. "Don't _do_ that!"

"I want more water," she replied calmly.

Zuko was quick to comply, and she drank it to his silence, relishing in how good it was and how underestimated water was.

When she was finished, Zuko surprised her. He took the glass away, set it back down on the table, and got up, sitting back down right beside her on the small cot. His eyes never left hers, and despite the situation, she felt her heart racing in attraction for him. With feather-light fingers, he reached up and touched her cheek, tracing her features slowly.

"You scared me," he whispered, his eyes wavering again. Mai bit her lip, reaching out and cupping his face in her hands again. Something in him seemed to sudden crumple, and he just…leaned in and grabbed onto her, his arms sliding around her waist, his face buried into her neck.

She hissed a little, his arm jarring her still-tender side a bit, but when he moved to pull away she tugged him back, hard, sliding her arms around him and reaching up stroke his hair. Her neck was soon wet with his tears, and she kissed the top of his head softly, her own eyes stinging, just a bit.

There was a long silence, broken by Zuko's occasional sniffles or coughs. Then his hands reached up, one going to her back, the other to the back of her head. Mai's eyes opened slowly, and before she knew it or could even focus, she felt his lips on her neck, his teeth grazing her skin lightly, and she shut her eyes, shivering. His hold tightened, and suddenly she understood. Gently, she pulled him away from her neck and kissed him on the lips, long and deep. He clung to her, kissing back so hard it took her breath away.

A few stray tears fell on her cheeks, but by then, she wasn't sure whose they were. He pressed closer, and she held him tight. This was a kiss of life, of relief, and of the impact of what _could_ have happened, rather than what really _had_.

Zuko pulled away, getting up only to lock the door from the inside. Then, he was back at her side, in her arms, and she fell into it, comforting as well as being comforted, relishing in being alive, and not alone in it.

* * *

Later, Mai lay awake. Zuko dozed in her arms, his face pillowed on her chest. She was tired, and her side was a little sore, but the blankets were warm and so was Zuko, so she didn't care. She looked down at him and smiled a little, her fingers sliding through his shaggy hair. He looked so relaxed in his sleep, so different than how he looked when awake.

Belatedly, as she felt her eyelids droop with her own fatigue, she realised that, in a way, she had been the one panicking, not just him. She had been so eager to calm him down, in a way, her own gestures were jerky and panicky at best.

_And_, she thought, her eyes closed, sighing deeply, _probably wasn't being calm that has us falling asleep here._

There were two kinds of panic, she thought sleepily. The one that Zuko had shown when she had been hurt; that raw, screaming, unbridled fear and anguish.

And then there was the second one, the one that they had shared together; that desperate, clinging kind of panic that made one think of time lost, of fleeting moments, and of hope that another day is coming, despite the situation.

_Maybe _that_ kind isn't so bad,_ was her last thought, before she, too, fell into a tired slumber next to Zuko.


	3. Hold Onto Me

**Warning: Occurs four years post-series and contains spoilers. It also references the fic "Don't Panic".**

It had been a really good day, Mai had thought.

Three years had passed with some hints of trouble, popping up here and there with little to no reason, but ones that never got too far out of hand (Mai never counted the assassination attempt that almost killed her – as far as she was concerned, the fact that she _hadn't_ died was a victory).

The weather wasn't too hot for their friends, and they were visiting without much complaint or discomfort. Ember Island was a familiar haunting ground for them all, having spent a collective time period together in some way shape or form on the sandy beaches. Together, as a group, it felt like home, like a family, really.

Aang was taking turns chasing Momo in the air and taking dives at Katara, who was submerged in the deep end of the water and refused to come out no matter how many times Aang flew past her with laughter.

Toph sat a few feet away from the beach, her toes occasionally getting wet, her fingers exploring some random part of her body (her nose, now). The Duke was sitting behind her, and she used him as a sort of prop, leaning on him with her arm across her stomach. He looked thrilled with this arrangement, despite Toph's occasional attempts at showing him what she dug up.

Suki and Sokka were both in the water, taking turns daring each other in stupid and probably dangerous endeavours if it had been anyone else. Ty Lee, who was gravitating between them and Mai and Zuko, would occasionally egg them on, suggesting even worse things for them to do (which thrilled Sokka).

Zuko and Mai were under the canopy. Zuko had his head in Mai's lap, dozing. These days, even the slightest activity left him exhausted, and any kind of break was a relief. Mai stroked his hair lazily, dozing on and off herself, the hot air and sunshine making her sleepy.

Sokka suddenly ran up to them, soaking wet and looking thrilled. "Hey, guys," he said, forcing both Mai and Zuko to wake up and open their eyes. "We're going into town to grab some food; you up for anything?"

"Ugh, yes," Zuko groaned, rubbing his eyes. "I'm starving. Get me anything spicy and meaty."

"Make it two," Mai agreed.

Sokka nodded. He waved over to Suki, who was yanking her arm free of an overly enthusiastic (and thus entirely suspicious) Ty Lee. Together, taking turns trying to land hits on each other, the two ran around the bend and disappeared from sight. Ty Lee shortly followed, shouting out protests.

"Those two are so weird," Zuko muttered, his hands on Mai's thigh and his cheek pressed against her skin. "Are they _ever_ getting married?"

"It's not for everyone, you judgemental idiot," Mai replied calmly, tugging at his hair. "I only agreed to it because you whined too much about it. It was the only way to shut you up and get some peace."

Zuko looked up at her with a scowl. "_You_ proposed to _me_," he answered.

Mai rolled her eyes. "Details. I merely did it to shut you up."

Zuko smirked. "You did not."

Mai felt her cheeks redden. Even after all of this time, he still had the ability to make her feel like a love-sick pre-teen all over again. "Whatever," she answered.

Zuko chuckled, turning onto his back and getting comfortable again, closing his eyes and flinging an arm over his face. "Wake me when the food gets here."

"No," Mai answered, but of course she would. She always did.

She watched her friends play, feeling that far away part of her reel in surprise. She had friends, real friends, and they didn't care about her past, but how she was now.

Toph had just finished cleaning out her ear and was holding up her finger to The Duke for him to examine. He made a groaning noise and pushed her hand away, bringing a laugh from her.

Aang swooped down on Katara a final time, as when he got close, she suddenly leapt up and grabbed him around his waist. With a scream, he was dragged under the water with her while she laughed in triumph. Momo squawked in shock and veered away, trying to avoid getting splashed.

Zuko started snoring lightly, his chest rising and falling underneath her hand with his breaths. She closed her eyes, relishing in the sound, loving every sound he made.

It was a really good day.

"Back!" Sokka's voice dragged her out of a sleep she hadn't realised she was in. "The service was really fast, too!" He tossed them something wrapped in heat foil, first to her, then to Zuko, who sat up like lightning to grab it. Sokka then started making rounds, tossing out food to his friends (including Aang and Katara, who had finally washed up on the beach arm-in-arm, soaking wet, and laughing).

"Oh, man," Zuko murmured, his voice muffled by his food. "This is so amazing. I haven't tasted anything this good in..._ever._"

Mai started peeling the paper off of hers. "If _you_ like it, I guess it's okay," she replied.

She was about to take a bite when a shout rose up from Aang. He lunged out and slapped Katara's food out of her hands, then did the same for both Toph and The Duke. "Stop, stop!" he shouted, his voice high with sudden panic. "Don't eat it!"

Mai's mouth went dry, and her gut clenched. Wordlessly, her eyes met Zuko's, who looked frozen. In his hands was an empty wrapper.

Aang rushed over, his face pale. "Don't eat it!" he repeated, yanking Mai's out of her hand. "Momo smelled something in it; I think it's poisoned!"

Mai felt all of the blood leave her face, just as Zuko dropped the wrapper like it was on fire. He looked confused, like he couldn't quite understand what had just happened.

"No," Aang murmured, his eyes wide. "You didn't. Tell me you didn't."

"I was starving," Zuko said, his eyes fixed on the wrapper on the ground.

Mai stared at him, her eyes wide. "Zuko," she whispered.

He looked up slowly, like he was sleepy. His eyelids fluttered a little. "I feel strange," he admitted, his voice cracking a little. "Something's...wrong..."

"Katara!" Aang's voice was almost a shriek. The older girl ran under the canopy, her own face pale with fear. "What is it?" she wondered, before her eyes fell first on Zuko, then on the empty food wrapper.

Zuko's eyes seemed to darken, going blank. "I feel..." he put a hand to his head, gritting his teeth. "I feel...sick...I feel...I think I...Mai...?" His hand dropped and his eyes closed. Without any other sound, he just fell, like a stone, on his side.

"Zuko!" His name ripped from her throat, and before she could even get a grip, she shoved both Aang and Katara away and grabbed Zuko up in her arms, cradling his head against her and holding him close to her chest. His hands reached up and clutched onto her arm, his fingernails digging in, and his face was a mask of pure pain and confusion.

_Hold on,_ she thought desperately. _Hold on. I'm holding you, like you held me. I'm here...hold on._

"Do something," Mai snapped, her eyes on Katara. She knew it wasn't fair, and she knew that they were just as scared as she was, but all she could feel was Zuko's fingers digging into her arm, hear his gasps that seemed to come from deep in his chest, see how ashen his complexion was and how already he was losing his grip on consciousness, and she didn't _care_ if she was rude _if it meant saving him._

_Why isn't it a good day anymore?_

She leaned in and held Zuko close, closing her eyes tight. She ignored everything around her, pressing her face into Zuko's damp hair, her fingers clutching at him almost too hard. "Hold on," she whispered into his ear. "Hold on, baby. Hold on."

Slowly, she felt him nod once, his fingers slackening a little before digging in again, and the tears she had been fighting to swallow and bury sprung free. And she sobbed, unable to hold it in.

_You're dying, you're dying, don't die on me, please don't die on me, hold on, hold on, hold on!_

Around her, she heard the distant voices of her friends, faint murmurs amidst the sounds of Zuko's harsh breathing and occasional murmurs of pain. She heard the words, "poison" and "purging plant" and "find out who it was". She also heard the words, "I know exactly who it was, and he won't know what hit him," coming from Suki, and for some reason, it comforted her, even as her lover, her best friend, her husband lay dying in her arms as she slowly rocked him in her panic.

A cool hand on her shoulder suddenly forced Mai to look up, right into Katara's bright blue eyes. In the other hand, she held out a handful of purple, mottled plants. "He needs to chew this," she said, her voice stern. "You need to help him."

Mai took the plant, her other arm holding Zuko close. She leaned in and whispered, "You need to eat this disgusting plant so that you can puke and gross us all out, okay?" Her voice was thick, and barely understandable, and her vision was obscured with her tears, but she was beyond caring.

Zuko nodded again, once, and a flicker of a smile graced his lips for a split second, almost like a twitch.

It was slow work. Zuko not only had trouble chewing, but he had trouble swallowing, and choked a couple of times on the leaves before he was able to swallow a few mouthfuls. In moments, his body was wracked in convulsions, and Mai held him on his side, supporting him through it, even when the last of it became dry heaves.

When the last of it was out, Zuko lay shivering on his side, his hands under his chin, his legs curled up. Mai wrapped him in a blanket that Aang offered to her, then leaned in beside him, wrapping her arms around him and rubbing his arms slowly. She rested her head on his shoulder, her eyes closed, and she said nothing, nothing at all. Gradually, his shudders stopped, too, and soon he was sleeping, really sleeping, and Mai found herself breathing once more.

"Mai."

She didn't move.

"Mai?"

She clung closer, feeling herself shivering, now, feeling her eyes burn and her lips tremble. Still she didn't move. She didn't open her eyes.

"Mai..."

And then she felt arms around her. Ty Lee's. She buried her face deeper into Zuko's shoulder, unable to smother the sobs from her throat. Ty Lee rubbed her back slowly, telling her that it was okay, and Zuko was alive, but she didn't hear it. All she could hear was the bewilderment in Zuko's voice when he said the words, "_I was starving..._"

* * *

Zuko would be fine. They confirmed it later, when one of the healers in town came to the estate to examine him. It had been close, but Katara's quick thinking and initiative saved him. He needed sleep, lots of fluids, and more sleep. In a few days, he would be fine.

Suki had been true to her word. Not only had she found the would-be murderer, but she had managed to incapacitate him and drag him to the local courthouse. When he protested, they searched him, only to find evidence of his crime. That seemed to open some kind of floodgate, as the man was quick to shout that Zuko was a fool and a weakling and that anyone who followed him was the same.

Apparently most of the Fire Nation was full of fools and weaklings, because he was quickly incarcerated.

Some distant part of Mai thought that it was really kind of funny, if she looked at it hard enough. First it had been her that was the lump in the bed, with Zuko at her side. Now it was reversed. Funny, sort of.

Except not at all. Except so completely not. Mai quickly realised that some things in life were just not funny. Like Zuko's first Agni Kai. Like being abandoned by him. Like realising that everything she was fighting for was the wrong thing to do. Like betraying her best friend. Like being stabbed in the guts.

_Yeah, not funny._

She and Zuko were alone, in the largest room of the newly refurbished summer home of the Royal Family. Zuko was, of course, sleeping, not only from his exhaustion but also because he had been given something to make him sleep (_the healers know their Lord all too well_). Mai lay next to him, curled up at his side, holding him so close that no space came between their bodies. Her eyes were open, staring at nothing, and occasionally, silently, they would fill, spill over, and close tight, only to do so again a moment later.

Mai was a very private person when it came to grief. Her friends, however, weren't. They needed to shout, to brainstorm, to talk out their feelings and worries and emotions and make plans and solutions.

Mai wasn't like that. In fact, that kind of thing repelled her. When things like this happened, she needed to be alone, to grieve, to speculate, to stew, but by _herself_, because she was the only one she trusted with those kinds of naked, intimate feelings.

Well, maybe not the _only_ one...

She closed her eyes, one last time, as she drifted off, exhaustion claiming her, as well. That was also part of her own defence.

* * *

She woke to the feel of familiar fingers stroking her hair slowly. She opened her eyes and looked up, only to find Zuko already looking at her, in his achingly wonderful and lopsided way. He smiled a little. She smiled back.

"Hi," she whispered, her hand reaching up to cup his cheek.

"Hey," he replied. "I feel like shit."

She laughed quietly, slipping her arms around his waist and hugging him tight. He hugged back, and she closed her eyes and breathed, really breathed, for the first time since the whole mess started. "You _look_ like it, too," she replied softly.

"Thanks, Mai, that really helps." His voice was rich with sarcasm, and it made her stomach clench in a way that made her suddenly think, _we're okay, we're going to be okay. I can breathe, now._


	4. The Idle Empress

_Writer's Note: I went a little bit back in time for this one. It takes place a little bit after "Hold Onto Me", but a while before "Changing of the Guard", just for reference._

**Warning: Takes place four years post-series and contains spoilers.**

Unsurprisingly, Mai found herself bored at times.

Oh, sure, being Zuko's wife was taxing, especially since, for the first time in recent history, the Fire Lord included his wife in practically every meeting and treated her as a co-ruler instead of just a consort. Which was, to her, actually really thrilling; despite spending most of her life under the thumb of her father's political career, politics as a whole – its dance, its double-edges, its ups and downs – was something she had always enjoyed. With Zuko, as unofficial co-ruler, she was able to remain in the flux of things, and even got to have a say. That was no small thing.

But the days that Zuko had to spend away from the Palace, when she had to remain to keep consul (something Zuko trusted only her with) in his absence, the days were slow-paced and boring.

On days like this, Mai wondered if being born into nobility was some sort of punishment from a past life. An average woman would throw herself over hot coals for the kind of life she was living (minus the politics, ironically), but Mai found the downtime dull, duller than her time in Omashu with her parents.

At first, Mai would spend her spare time making the servants nervous. She loved doing this. Ever since she was a kid, tormenting the servants was something she always made time for. Sending them on bizarre errands and asking them squeemishly personal questions...there was never boredom in that.

And while her mother had always told her that once she married, she would have to keep a house, she discovered that she really didn't have to; the house seemed to take care of itself, regardless of whatever it was she said or did. Thus, there really wasn't much to do in those regards, either.

So one day, when Zuko was in the outer islands checking the status of the people there, Mai left the palace and went into the city.

Despite being an elusive political figure, and despite the fact that she was no stranger to the common crowd, people still had a hard time recognising her for who she was. While she was not lacking in beauty, certainly on her own, without Zuko and his own distinctive features, she didn't stand out. And for once, she didn't mind being overlooked. She imagined that if Zuko found out what she did in her spare time in the city, he would probably throw a tantrum, and while that was amusing, it was also tiring.

It was best he didn't know.

She dressed casually, her hair down, the colours she wore subdued. Since her objective was to be overlooked or, indeed, to be quickly forgotten, she made sure that her looks were average at best. This wasn't hard; she had had a lot of practise with that as a child, as well.

What her childhood also prepared her for was the uncanny ability to be able to just _listen_ to what was going on around her without feeling the need to speak up about it. And it was with this ability that she quashed the boredom and did her own subtle part in helping Zuko's rulership easier.

She listened to the rumours. She tucked them away. She infiltrated the average populace, silently gaining trust and acquaintanceship with them, all while rooting out the lies within the threads of gossip and listening to the harsh truths as well. In return, she added to the rumour mill, her own truthful tidbits of what she "knew" as fact, and very carefully chipped away at the distrust and lies throughout the hateful lies, revealing them as such in order to clear her husband's name.

It was hard work, to be honest. Finding the right words to say, especially when the people surrounding her were particularly fired up about it, was difficult. Despite being no stranger to schooling her words with caution, even she found that sometimes her words only added to the flames of distrust.

It was hard, but, oh, it was thrilling. Weaving patterns with words, bantering with masters like they were sparring, detecting the lies and the facts and reworking them...it was a kind of rush that was eclipsed by only two other things in her life: Sparring with Zuko, and mastering her martial arts.

It was her private joy. It was a small part to play. But it was no less thrilling or rewarding.

One time, however, it was her actions that were needed and not her words. And it was those actions that led to the greatest change.

* * *

"Mugai! Welcome!"

Mai looked up and smiled, giving a short wave before sitting at her usual table. "Mugai" was her pseudonym, one that she couldn't help but find amusing, given its meaning. Still, it was similar enough to her own name that she didn't have a problem responding to it, so that was enough.

The voice belonged to a middle-aged man who sat behind the service counter. He had black hair streaked with grey pulled into a topknot, and he never failed to dress cleanly and professionally. It was something Mai both respected and enjoyed about visiting his restaurant. The food wasn't bad, either.

She took her place right in the middle of the room. The fact that the owner, Puro, had made the effort to greet her, despite how busy it was, also touched her. She eyed the menu, checking for new items, while her ears opened and listened to the buzz around her.

"It was so boring, that play. I had seen the one before the end of the war, and it was far more interesting..."

"And he just got up and took the money, just like that despite the fact that it was meant to be a tip!"

"I can't believe that the curriculum is changing in the schools! Apparently it's all wrong..."

Pretty standard stuff, Mai noted, setting the menu down to signal that she was ready to order. The only thing that was slightly interesting was the mentioning of the schools; that was Aang's doing, mostly. Apparently he had managed to infiltrate one of the schools while staying in the Fire Nation, and what he had learned there was pretty disparaging. Now he was working with most of the curriculum staff to correct whatever discrepancies in history there were.

_He would know,_ she thought. _He _was_ there._

One of the waitresses set a mug of tea in front of her and took her order. Mai sniffed the tea once she was alone and made a face. It was a far cry from Iroh's tea, or even her own. Still, she had an appearance to keep up, and she sipped it, only a little.

"I heard the Avatar is actually over a hundred, but he only _looks_ young because of some ancient airbending technique..."

Mai smirked into her mug. Partial truths, all of it, always.

"And I said to him, like, no you didn't just say my hair looked stupid."

"You so didn't!"

"Of course I did!"

From the corner of her eye, Mai made sure that those two voices did not, in fact, belong to two girls that she had known while growing up that shared the same face as her best friend. They didn't, and she was relieved.

"Mugai!"

She looked up to see Puro hovering at her table with a big grin on his face. She wasn't sure, but for a few weeks she was starting to suspect that he was soft on her, and it amused her: It seemed that the only kind of man she could attract were highly emotional dweebs and overly preened older men.

"Hello," she replied. "How is business?"

She said it to be polite; really, she wasn't too interested, especially if what she suspected about him was true. She merely wanted him to speak his mind and get it over with so that she could go back to listening, however anti-climactic it seemed to be.

As Puro rambled about numbers, Mai tuned him out. _Maybe today was a bust, anyways. Once he's done, I'll head to the next place and try again..._

"Mugai, what do you think?"

She jerked her head up, suddenly realising that she was supposed to be offering input, something she just did not have. "I think you should do what you think is best, Puro," she said hastily, ensuring that none of her initial apathy showed in her words.

Puro smiled, obviously placated. "I thought you would say that, Mugai. Indeed, I think it's a great idea, too, obviously. Otherwise I wouldn't have mentioned it."

_What did I just agree with?_ She wondered idly, smiling faintly in reply to his words and sipping her tea as a bluff.

"So, obviously, you are feeling dissatisfied with the Fire Lord's mandates, as well."

Mai jerked her head up, her heart suddenly stuttering. She looked up, fighting desperately to keep the mask in place. "What?" she spluttered.

"Oh, you know," Puro replied, pulling out the spare chair at her table and sitting down across from her. "How the Fire Lord outlawed Agni Kais, and decided that he would take audiences with average people over nobles as a norm, and how he lets his _wife_ co-rule." He blinked, smiling a little. "Not that I think a woman is any less competent as a ruler, but everyone knows that the regent of the Fire Lord's place is in the shadows. This one, what's-her-name, she is always beside him, and even speaks up in the middle of meetings. It's _insane._" He stared at her with wide eyes. "If Ozai were still able to, he would smack his son up and down the courts for making a mockery of the Nation."

It was interesting. Mai had never thought of herself as the type of person to rise to bait, let alone lose control of her temper. The few times she had gone ahead and blown up in fury had always been around Zuko. And now, as her hands clutched at the hot mug so tightly that it hurt, and her jaw ached because of how hard she clenched it to keep from snapping, she realised that it was pretty easy to lose her temper on Zuko's _behalf,_ as well.

"So, your plan," she said softly, her voice carefully monotone. "You think it will change that?"

Puro leaned in, sensing a comrade in her. "It's not for lack of trying, lemme tell you," he admitted. "I've heard that a few people have tried to off both the Fire Lord and his wife, but somehow, they shake it off. They're like _dragons_, those two."

Despite herself, Mai had to smile a little. Although she knew Puro meant it as an insult, it was rather flattering to be called a dragon, after all.

"So a group of us figured that, hey, why not just go about it from the inside, like I told you? That way, no one will know until the very last minute, and we should have a good shot at the Fire Lord, if not both of them, you know?"

Mai raised an eyebrow. Although her insides were clenched at the very thought of leaving Zuko exposed, she knew that an opportunity like this wouldn't present itself this easily ever again.

_Too bad. I had always like Puro. Oh well. Everyone has to learn someday…_

"Are you in, Mugai?" he wondered, his voice a whisper. "I can tell you have some fighter in you. You always seem to be alert. You'd be amazing for our cause. Are you in?"

Mai nodded. "Oh, I'm in," she replied. "I'm very much in."

_Rue the day that anyone tried to lay a hand on Zuko in aggression ever, ever again._

* * *

Zuko came home late that day, looking tired and smelling of ashes. When she met him to help him undress, he seemed to just melt under her hands with exhaustion. Gently, she smoothed her hands over his back and knitted out the knots in his shoulders with her fingertips. She listened to him despair about the day, and how while most of the Nation was cooperating, there was always that set of rotten apples that seemed to ruin it all and make it ten times worse. She listened, spoke comforting words to him, and helped him to bed, all sincerely.

But in her mind, she was planning. She was reworking the plans she had made with Puro. She was setting the terms to fit her own needs.

Except when Zuko kissed her. Then he was the centre of her universe.

* * *

It was, she had to admit, a rather good plan they had hatching.

Puro's group consisted of ten people, a mix of both men and women, mostly men. It was no secret that while Agni Kais were banned and the army was used only for peacekeeping, most of the army brats and old hands were retiring out of relief, and the numbers within the military were low. Plus the fact that, with the recent coups that had been staged on both Mai and Zuko, it was getting harder and harder to keep royal escorts around.

Thus, the plan was simple: answer the posting and get recruited as royal escorts, or at the very least guards, and find themselves into the palace. Then, when it was least expected, murder Zuko or, if luck happened, Mai, and take over the Nation themselves and once again start a plan for world dominance.

It was good, if it worked. It was also laughable.

For starters, each guard they trained had to undergo a vow, one that, undisclosed, was said in front of Toph. If they were sincere, Toph would nod. If they were lying, well, she would react less subtly on behalf of the monarchs, and that person was out of the running.

There was no way that they would make it past the preliminaries. Toph would be able to root them out within seconds.

Unless Mai got to her first.

* * *

Mai's prolonged absence from the Palace wasn't ignored, but it wasn't unusual. Pretty much everyone within the courts knew that if the Fire Lord and his wife vanished for an undisclosed amount of time, it wasn't something to panic about. Sometimes it was Zuko who went missing, sometimes Mai, and sometimes both.

The only person who seemed to notice was Zuko, and that was because he wasn't invited.

"Where are you spending your days?" he wondered, watching her walk into their bedroom with her hair down and her clothes plain. She was startled; she hadn't expected him to be home quite yet.

"Around," she replied shortly.

Zuko narrowed his eyes. "Around?" he echoed.

"Yes."

"Your hair is down," he observed, "and you're wearing peasant clothes, Fire Nation peasant clothes."

"So what?" she shot back, feeling a little defensive. She wasn't doing this for _laughs_, after all. Even if he didn't know about it, he could still just _butt out._

"Are you doing something I should be worried about?"

She jerked her head to look at him, to fire a scathing sentence at him to shut him up, but just one look into his eyes made her freeze: his face was drawn with worry, and his eyes looked scared. He clutched at the blankets tightly with his fingers, and every once and a while he would bite his lip.

Mai stared at him, feeling her mouth go dry. Wordlessly, she walked over to his side, sat down on the bed in front of him, and cupped his face into her hands, shaking her head slowly. Zuko opened his mouth, but she held his face tighter, stopping him. She shook her head again, her mouth a stern line, glaring right into his eyes. He closed his own, relaxing a little into her grip, and he reached up and touched her forearms with soft hands.

"Just tell me when you can, okay?" he whispered. "Just tell me."

"I will," she agreed. "If I need to, not when."

* * *

It was two weeks to the day that Mai stood in line to take the final oath to become a soldier within her husband's army. Before her were her "comrades", practically bouncing with anticipation and eagerness to get started on their plan.

Mai had barely managed to grab Toph before her name was called. Needless to say, Toph was shocked to realise that she was there. "What are you doing here, Queen Cool?"

"I need you to do me a favour," Mai replied, not rising to the bait. "I need you to ignore the liars in this batch of men and women."

Toph narrowed her eyes, her mouth a suspicious line. "Why would you want me to do that, Mai?" she wondered, her voice thick with underlying confusion.

"Because you have to," Mai answered sternly. "I'm asking you to, because you have to. It will all come together and you'll see why then, but you need to let the liars go."

Toph hesitated, her unfocused eyes hard. She sighed, then shut them. "Fine," she snapped, obviously angry at having any part in this. "But anything that happens is on your head."

Mai knew this. She had known this from the start. It was what made it so _important._

"Also," she added as she left. "Ignore the fact that I'm in the lineup as well, okay?"

"Wait, _what?!"_ Toph shouted in reply, but it was too late. Mai was already back with the others and ready to swear herself loyal to her husband.

* * *

It went off with a hitch. None of the soldiers were declared liars, and thus everyone trained was recruited. Puro and his friends were elated, and they invited Mai to celebrate, but she declined.

"Didn't think you would," Puro admitted. "You seem more like a tea person than a whiskey person."

Mai smiled and waved her goodbye.

That night, when she slipped her way into the bedroom, Zuko was already home and fast asleep. In the dim light of the solitary lamp, he looked almost identical to the small prince she had known so long ago. It made her feel wistful, like a traitor, even, that she was spending her days helping along an assassination plot while he was working to maintain peace.

_You have to keep it from him for a reason. If he knew, he would go nuts. It's better this way._

She sighed, undressed, and curled up right into his back, burying her face into his shoulder. He sighed in his sleep, pushing back against her, and she shut her eyes. Tomorrow it would be over. Tomorrow, everything would be fine.

* * *

When Mai held the knife to Puro's throat, it was over.

Granted, it had come close. Puro and his comrades had been chosen as royal escorts, and were on their way to "meet the Fire Lord", which really meant "kill the Fire Lord", when Mai had dipped out of the line, flicked out a knife, and held it up to her former bartending acquaintance.

It was, needless to say, rather satisfying to do this. After all of the weeks of posing, of lying, or comprising herself and making Zuko worry about her, especially in terms of fidelity and loyalty, it was satisfying to use Puro as an outlet for this frustration.

Puro, however, wasn't too bright on the uptake. "Um, Mugai," he stuttered, his eyes wide. "Are you sparring with me?"

"No," she snapped. She leaned in, unable to suppress a thin smile. "You're finished."

"Mugai, what are you doing?" Gogi, one of the others, demanded. "Are you crazy?"

"_You're_ the ones who are crazy," she answered. "Thinking you can just get away with this kind of thing. Thinking that it was acceptable to challenge the balance."

"You traitor!" Xiaola, one of the women, shrilled.

"_You're_ the traitors," Mai replied, lowering her knife and pushing Puro roughly away from him. She was, above all, disgusted. "You don't get it, do you? We, as a nation, needs to learn humility. You're only making it worse. Back off, or face the consequences."

Puro's hand hovered over the sword at his hip, his eyes narrowed. "And if we don't?"

Mai smirked, reaching into her sleeves and toying with a stiletto. "Then you face _me._"

Needless to say, they chose the latter. If Mai were to think about it later, she had really hoped they would. Fighting them brought her so much joy, especially after all of the idiocy they had made her resort to.

When they were all either knocked out or dazed, Mai pocketed her remaining weapons and sighed. She leaned down to where Puro lay with a dazed face and said, very flatly, "_I'm_ the Fire Lord's wife, you moron."

He stared at her, his face going practically purple with the weight of the confession. Wordlessly, she stood up and walked away, going to alert the _real_ palace guards in order to clean up the mess.

* * *

It wasn't the first time that her eavesdropping led her to an encounter, although it was the first time that she had to make an effort to steer it away. It also wouldn't be the last time, she knew. Until she managed to expose and imprison each and every one of them - the ones who strove for action rather than the ones who just complained - there would be no peace.

On her way back to the royal chambers, still dressed in soldier regalia, a blast of firebending stopped her in her tracks. Faster than a blink, she jumped into a stance, her hands already holding two razor-sharp shuriken.

From the shadows, wearing a livid expression, came Zuko. Her mouth opened, and she stood up to her full height and tried to look casual, but it was no use; he was too angry to care.

"Why are you dressed like that?" he snapped, stopping a few inches from her. "Why are you skulking around? And, most importantly, _why did you ask Toph to lie?"_

Mai almost smacked herself on the forehead. _I forgot to ask Toph to keep her mouth shut. Of _course_ she would tell him…_

"I don't have to explain myself to you," she answered, her voice surprisingly level. "From the sounds of it, you already know. So why do you need to ask me? And what makes you think that it gives you the right to _bend_ at me?"

"I only know that when traitors took the oath, you told Toph to restrain herself and let them pass," Zuko responded, his voice close to a snarl. "And that she had to keep her calm when _you_ took the oath. So tell me, Mai: are you going to be my royal escort now? Are you going to be the one who protects me while I walk from court to court?"

Mai smiled thinly. "Why not? I'm good at it."

"_What did you do?"_

Mai threw up her hands. "I stopped them, okay?" she responded, finally losing her temper. The fact that he was shouting at her, when she had put herself through so much trouble to make this whole thing work, was what broke her control. "I set them up and stopped them. They're in jail. No one was hurt, and you're safe. So _back off!"_

Zuko stepped closer, and she bristled, her eyes narrowing. "So that was what you were doing when you were out late? _Manipulating_ traitors to set them up for their own arrest?"

"Yes," she answered, her jaw set. "I've been doing this for _ages._ This was the first job that took this long to expose, however. But I'm _not_ sorry, and you're being dramatic for _nothing."_

"Assassins?"

"_Yes."_

And with that one word, Zuko's anger seemed to just…_die._ His face fell, from the angry mask, to that fearful face he had worn a few nights ago. Wordlessly, he reached for her, but she jerked back, confused. "Don't touch me!" she snarled. "You were _berating me_ like a child five seconds ago, and now you think you can _touch_ me?"

Zuko sighed, lowering his hands. He looked away, hiding his face with his hair. He muttered something, his shoulders drooping, and she didn't catch it. She fought he urge to roll her eyes and leaned in closer. "What did you say?"

"You…could have gotten killed," he answered, his voice a murmur. "You could have died. There were ten of them, most of them men. They were trained as soldiers, and they could have killed you."

Mai blinked. "They weren't benders. They didn't have a chance."

Zuko shook his head, still hiding behind his hair. "You don't know that, Mai," he answered flatly. "They could have surrounded you, gotten you when you were distracted. They could have _killed you."_

His voice broke, and Mai winced. She felt like a fool; he wasn't mad at her for not telling him she was sneaking around. He was mad at her because she had put herself at risk, and what was worse, she had done it _for him._

She reached forward and touched his hair, brushing it away from his eyes. He looked up, his yellow eyes dark. "You honestly didn't think I would get the warden's report on their incarceration?" he said.

Mai blushed a little at that. "It honestly never occurred to me," she admitted.

"You could have died, Mai," he answered, looking up again. "And for what? For _what?"_

"For balance, Zuko," she said firmly.

Zuko shook his head slowly. He reached forward again, and this time she let him. When he buried his face into her neck, she held him close.

"There's no balance without you," he whispered softly.

"You're an idiot," she answered softly, but it was with affection. She stroked his hair, and he held her close.

It wasn't the first time, but it wouldn't be the last time, that Mai would work to rid the Nation of threats to the throne. But it _was_ the last time that she did it alone. That much was clear.

And she didn't mind so much.

Maybe it was best that Zuko knew.


	5. Changing of the Guard

_Writer's Note: While researching Suki for "The Silk Fan", I came across this excellent picture of Suki in different outfits throughout the show, as well as three other outfits that she had never worn, but that suggested a childhood outfit, a wedding outfit, and something that, to me, looked like a Fire Nation soldier, Kyoshi Warrior style, outfit. Seeing it hatched this little plotbunny, but alas, I saved the picture without getting the name of the artist. So if it's you, and you're reading this, you're awesome, and thanks!_

**Warning: Occurs five years post-series and contains spoilers. It also references the fic "Don't Panic" and "Hold Onto Me".**

"Zuko, I have a proposition for you."

Zuko stared, going bright red. "You have a _what _for me?" he choked out, his voice strangled. At his side, Mai snickered.

Suki sighed, giving him a look that would make any glass of any dairy product into instant cheese. "You're kidding me, right? You actually think I'm coming _on_ to you?"

Zuko looked away, his face still red. "I don't ever know what to think around you people!"

Suki had to struggle to keep herself from laughing, to be honest. After five years of getting to know the Fire Lord, a relationship that had obviously started out less than stellar, it was always a great thrill to realise how incredibly _wrong_ her first impression of him had been.

_So, so incredibly wrong,_ she thought, her lips twitching a little. _So far from the truth; that while he has his moments of astonishing clarity and political prowess, he is, by and far, a huge dweeb._

Sokka had tried to tell her. She had thought he was just being rude. Now she knew the truth.

_I owe him money._

Mai caught Suki's glance and smirked, not saying a word. Suki really liked Mai, another one who had proven her first impression not exactly right. Oh, Suki knew that Mai was a formidable opponent, a strong warrior, and an intelligent woman; that much was evident in their battle against each other. But what she _hadn't_ known about then was that Mai had been tethered to ideals that she thought had been correct, and only the threat of losing not only the one she loved, but her own country's integrity and humanity had been able to lift the cowl from her eyes. And once that happened, all that she used to fight _against _Aang and his group was use to fight _for_ them. And that was something Suki would never, ever forget.

Now, in these later years, while it started off shaky, the two women were able to form a fantastic friendship. They had much in common, and the things they didn't kept the friendship interesting (_oh, the debates..._), and they became even closer when Zuko's life was almost snuffed out a year ago (_the first – and last - time she had seen the older girl cry_).

Suki's visits to the Fire Nation weren't as frequent as the others from their group (like, say, Toph, or Aang and Katara), but she visited enough to keep from being a stranger. This visit, however, she knew was out of the blue, especially since she was dressed in full Kyoshi Warrior regalia, something that she never felt the need to do around her friends as much.

"I'm not here to get you into bed, Zuko," Suki said now, her voice flat. "First of all, _no thank you,_ and second of all, do I look like I want to become a pincushion?"

Mai grinned. "Thank you for that," she agreed.

Zuko sighed, effectively chastised and feeling stupid about it. He shifted a little and looked away. The receiving room was smaller than the throne room, but it was large enough to, especially in these later years, make Zuko wary of larger spaces. Suki knew that he hated using it, but she had insisted, and he had relented.

"So why are you here, then?" he wondered.

Suki slowly lowered herself down to her knees, placing her palms onto the ground before her. Zuko and Mai looked over as one, wearing expressions of confusion and surprise. Suki didn't complete the prostration, but she did tilt her head down slightly. She was coming not as a subject, not as an equal, but something in between.

"Fire Lord," she said, her voice different; it was stronger, clearer. It was a voice she used only when issuing commands. "Lately, with these newly won years of peace, animosity has risen against you, despite your noble attempts to bank the fires of hatred. You are brave, and you are strong, but you are not invincible. You almost lost your life."

Her words were met with silence. She didn't look up, but she could feel the tension, feel the discomfort that came with being reminded of such a hard time.

"Therefore, I have come as the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors, and not as a past comrade. Fire Lord Zuko, Lady Mai, I have come to offer my services and those of my four closest Warriors as personal honour guards here in the Palace," Suki pushed on, feeling her heart racing. "We cannot risk losing you to selfishness, to carelessness. My warriors are elite, trained by myself, and would risk their lives for you, their past enemy, for this peace. Please, accept this protection and allow us to preserve your life for the sake of the world."

Silence. All she could hear was her shaky breathing, her racing heart.

She was scared, really. She and her Warriors, the ones who had broken from Kyoshi to join the battle in the Earth Kingdom for Ba Sing Se and beyond, were unable to emulate once they returned to the Island. While it was home, the isolated life that they had once led in ignorant bliss seemed to be nothing but greys after a while.

Suki had tried to power on, really and truly, for several years. It was when she witnessed with her own eyes the attempt on Zuko's life did she realise that she wasn't where she was supposed to be at all.

Her Warriors were quick to agree. Ty Lee was also eager to join. Suki left that up to her. Despite their own personally antagonistic past (_I'm surrounded by reformed enemies)_, Ty Lee was showing the iron-willed stuff of a real Kyoshi Warrior. Privately, Suki was actually modelling her as a replacement for her leadership, which was why she not only left the choice up to her, but was incredibly pleased when Ty Lee decided to stay on the Island instead.

Suki, however, knew that she had to do the actual asking alone. As leader, as warrior...and as friend.

The silence was unbearable, but she kept her head down, her mouth closed. She knew better.

Then, finally, Zuko said, very softly, "You would do that? Despite the risks?"

Suki looked up. Zuko's face was drawn, not with anger, but with sadness. Beside him, Mai's face was carefully blank, but deep within her eyes rested a light of respect. Both were staring at her with an air of what, she realised, was deep and utter gratitude.

She was stunned, quite honestly. She was also ashamed. _I should have done this years ago..._

"Yes, of course," she said without thinking. "You know how much you both mean to me, to us." She then blinked, feeling her cheeks go red. "I mean..."

"Suki," Mai broke in, her voice a little thick. "Really. We're all friends here." Her hand held Zuko's tight, so tight that her long nails indented into his skin, but he didn't seem to notice, or mind. He held her hand back just as tight. "You don't need to be all formal."

Zuko, however, seemed to understand. "Yes, she does," he replied. "She's not asking as a friend; she's asking as a Kyoshi Warrior." Slowly, Zuko got to his feet beside his wife, standing up to his full height before Suki.

Suki kept her eyes on him, noticing, almost from far away, how much he had grown into his role, his destiny, as Fire Lord. Even without the robes and ornaments that he wore now, just looking at him closely enough would tell anyone his identity. It was a far cry from the wary, confused young man she had gotten to know all of those years ago.

"I need to know that you would be willing to fight for me, with me, and in my name," he continued, his voice calm and clear. Beside him, Mai looked right into Suki's eyes, her expression so careful that it was almost terrifying.

"Yes," Suki agreed, her eyes falling back to Zuko's. "Last year, and two years before it, can never be allowed to happen again."

Mai's eyes narrowed, her hand going to her side, and Zuko's eyes shut for longer than a blink.

_Indeed, the ones who have seen the most suffering, outside of Aang, are truly these two here._

"I ask you this, because the need for protection is something I have been putting off for, I think we can agree, far too long," Zuko continued, a faint smile touching his lips. "Inactivity has made me sloppy, something that I should have learned, truly," and here he looked back at Mai, who sat still as a stone at his side, "when it hit me the hardest."

"You can trust me," Suki replied.

Zuko looked back at her, the smile wider. "I know I can," he agreed. "But..."

Suki couldn't help it; she knew her face fell.

"Suki, I know you trust your women," he said, the smile gone. "I know you chose them yourself, trained them yourself, but I cannot trust them like I can trust you. If you were to do this, it would be alone."

_I wasn't expecting that._

She honestly had no idea what to say. Her mouth was dry, her eyes wide. Slowly, she sat up, placing her hands on her knees. "My warriors-,"

"Are your warriors, I know," Zuko agreed. His face was impassive, but his eyes bled out his emotions; he was conflicted, but also desperate. _He needs me here, doesn't he? _"And I know that what I'm asking for is alot. But, Suki..." And here, he actually looked away. "Things have gotten serious. I need someone I can trust with everything I am. Only a few people fill this role, and you're one of them. It would have to be you, alone."

Suki nodded slowly, her eyes lowered. She stared at her hands. _Wouldn't it make more sense to have strength in numbers? Wouldn't it be safer to have more than one person here?_

"And it's not like I don't expect you to have a life outside of the Palace," Zuko added, making her look up. "You and Sokka are still together, right?"

Suki's hand shot up without control to her neck, where the necklace he made her (_not a betrothal necklace, but one of commitment, of devotion...)_ lay underneath her clothes. She jerked it away, embarrassed. "Yes, we are. But he knows I'm here. And he agrees, and knows what it entails."

"Wouldn't that be a problem?" Mai broke in. "Wouldn't he miss you, or his home? Or both?"

Suki smiled. "Yes," she agreed. "But he and I...we've been apart before. He knows I'm a Warrior. He knows what it means."

_Wait a second..._ Suki's smile faded. Her eyes darted from Mai's to Zuko's and looked closely. He looked tired, and scared, but he also looked...preoccupied. His eyes kept flicking away when he thought she wasn't looking, from her...to Mai.

"You're pregnant," Suki blurted out. Her hand shot to her mouth and covered it, but the damage was done: both Zuko and Mai jolted, turned red, then looked at each other in shock.

"Well," Mai said finally, her voice dry, "She_ is_ a master of that kind of thing."

"Suki," Zuko's voice was soft, but pleading. "This can't leave this room. We just found out, and if the word gets out to the wrong people..."

"Zuko," Suki laughed a little. "I know. I understand. Congratulations, both of you."

Mai smiled. "Thank you."

Zuko sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I didn't want to tell you until after, so that you wouldn't think I was manipulating you or something. Katara has been accusing me of doing that to people lately, and it really, really irritates me."

"She's right, though," Mai said, smirking.

He turned and glowered at her, and Suki took this opportunity to break in. "Zuko, I have to speak to the other girls, but...I think, understanding the circumstances, what you're asking for is acceptable."

Zuko looked relieved. He sat down in one move, heavily, as if he couldn't support his own weight anymore. Mai placed a hand on his shoulder, and he leaned in close.

Inwardly, Suki smiled. _I guess the Fire Lord-Kyoshi Warrior hats are off, now._

Mai turned to Suki. "So..." she said, looking a little shy, to Suki's surprise. "When...do you think you can start?"

Zuko nodded. "The fact that you even requested it today suggests that it's not merely good timing."

Suki smiled wider. She had thought the same thing. "I can start within the week."

Mai and Zuko looked at each other. Zuko closed his eyes, and Mai touched his cheek. "That would be good," he admitted, reaching into his robes. With stiff fingers, he pulled out a crumpled piece of paper and held it out. "As Royal Guard, you're entitled to see this."

Suki got to her feet and took it. She opened it, and saw in jerky characters, bad grammar, and horrific clarity, what was a death threat. She stared, her mouth dry yet again. Wordlessly, she looked up at Zuko, who was smiling faintly, unhappily. "Not merely good timing," he repeated.

Suki nodded. She rolled up the paper, placed it in her belt, and very carefully, knelt down and prostrated before them both, all the way.

Zuko made a sound, akin to a protest, but Mai shushed him. Suki raised her head, then got back to her feet and bowed, placing her hands in the Fire Nation way. "I won't let you down."

Zuko smiled, this time for real. "I know," he said softly. "I know."


	6. Occupational Hazard

_Writer's Note: Going back in time again! This one is set shortly after _Changing of the Guard,_ so it does contain spoilers. Yeah, someday I'll put this series in order. For now, though, enjoy the random patterns of my wayward mind!_

_

* * *

_

**Warning: Occurs post-series and contains spoilers.**

Toph had had no idea just how good Suki was at being Royal Guard until she had the misfortune of being caught by her.

Before Suki was hired by Zuko, Toph found sneaking into the Palace incredibly easy. If she was feeling particularly vicious, she would doll herself up and drop her name, effectively traumatising both Zuko and Mai in the process. Otherwise, she would sneak her way in via the underground passages and just pop up in the royal chambers until she was caught.

In the grand scheme of things, it was a great way to kill time.

Suki, however, made it clear that things weren't going to be that easy anymore.

Toph, at first, thought it would be even better now that Suki was in the Palace. After all, they were close, and she figured that, out of anyone, Suki would be the most likely to conspire with her to find various ways to scare Zuko.

She was, to put it mildly, wrong.

* * *

It was mid-afternoon, and the area where Toph stood was deserted, thanks to the horrible heat that the summer provided. _On days like this,_ she thought, _it's no small wonder that anyone from the Fire Nation was so bad-tempered._ Even _she _was feeling irritated at how hot it was.

However, it was also the perfect time of day to sneak into the Palace undetected. Most of the guards would be in the shade until the sun sank a bit, and the place that she stood, right above the royal underground passages, was hardly one to guard on a regular basis. While times were shaky at best, the Fire Nation knew better than to suspect the Earth Kingdom of launching sneak attacks using bending.

But that never included Toph.

With a grin, she held up her hands and slammed a foot onto the ground. The earth yielded beneath her, and she jumped down and into the hole, throwing her hands above her head to close it. She sighed, shutting her eyes for a moment; it was a little cooler under ground, but not by much. She hoped that Zuko would be smart and keep the Palace shaded.

Slowly, she walked, keeping her bending on hair-trigger and her senses wide-open, feeling for any change and dip in the pathway before her. She knew better than anyone how treacherous the pathways could be, and since she was alone, she thought it prudent to be extra-alert, just in case.

It turned out that she wasn't vigilant enough.

The moment she reached the doorway that led into the Palace proper, the door opened to reveal Suki, dressed in her red-and-gold Warrior outfit. Toph, of course, didn't see her standing there dressed that way, but the moment the door opened, she knew who it was. She froze, her heart racing, before relaxing, placing a hand to her chest.

"Geez, Honey, you scared me," she admitted, cracking a smile. "Next time, at least warn me before opening the door, will you?"

"Toph," was Suki's reply, her voice hard. "You're trespassing."

The younger girl froze, unsure of what she just heard. "No, I'm not," she protested. "I'm just visiting."

"By using the canals?" Suki answered. She crossed her arms over her chest; Toph could hear the swish of fabric as she did so. "That's trespassing."

"Look, I don't get what the big deal is," Toph admitted. "I do this all the time, and both Fuss Lord and Queen Ice know this. Why are you making a big deal about it?"

Suki sighed. "Toph, you know you mean the world to me, right?"

Toph smiled. "Of course," she agreed, a touch shyly.

"And you know that nothing will ever change that?"

"I…guess."

"So you'll understand when I tell you that I have to arrest you."

Toph froze again. "You have to what?"

"Arrest you," Suki repeated calmly. "You're trespassing. I'm Royal Guard. My duty is to protect the Fire Lord and his home. Despite the fact that we have a past, and while I'm sure you mean no harm, we can't let this go without showing a penalty. It'll send the wrong message if it gets out."

Toph was stunned. "Message?" she repeated.

"Yes," Suki answered, still calm. "Zuko and Mai have been getting death threats. You also saw how they've had attempts on their lives. I can't be too careless. So either you come with me peacefully, or you'll see why I'm the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors."

Toph's eyes narrowed, and she set her jaw. "Honey, are you threatening me?"

Suki shrugged. "You have a choice. I'm merely giving it to you."

"Oh, you are_ not_ threatening me."

"Take it as you like."

This was _insane_. Suki, out of everyone Toph had known in her travels, was _never_ this hard with her. She had always had a soft spot for Toph, and ever since their winter together with Sokka on Kyoshi Island, it was only made stronger. To hear these words from her, delivered so calmly and with no other choice, was, needless to say, pretty shocking for Toph.

And, well, a shocked Toph tended to make bad choices.

She scrunched up her face, crossed her arms over her chest, and sniffed. "_Make me_," she snarled.

"Okay."

Toph listened, and a split second later, the sound of two fans snapping open sliced through the air. Shocked, Toph reached out with her bending and threw her hands up, sending out sensory waves towards Suki in order to judge her moves. Time seemed to slow, and very clearly Toph could "see" the Kyoshi Warrior moving towards her with her fans raised.

Toph flicked out a hand and bent a pillar of rock at her, trying to trip her mid-step.

Suki, however, had seen it coming. She knew that Toph would try to disarm her first before actually attacking her, and as a result, Suki really only had one shot. She leapt over the raised chunk of earth quickly, just as it shot up, and with fluid moves, deftly tossed first one fan, then the other, at her beloved friend.

As a result, Toph was pinned harmlessly against the rockface behind her. Her sleeves, always wide, made perfect targets.

Toph snarled again and slammed a foot down, heel-first, as a reply, but Suki jumped up and reached out, wincing a little inwardly as she did so. She dug her fingers into Toph's hip, then crooked the first two and slammed them first down into her inner knee, then her ankle.

When Toph tried to bend again, nothing happened.

"You…_you chi-blocked me!_" Toph spluttered, outraged. She reached out to kick her with her other leg, but Suki pulled back out of range just in time. "You can't do that!"

Suki sighed. "_Now_ will you come with me by choice?"

Toph swore at her. "I can't _believe_ you did that! I'm your friend,_ more _than your friend!"

"Yes, but you're also being a pest!" Suki snapped, finally losing her temper. "Do I have to drag you or what?"

Toph opened her mouth, ready to scream out her answer, then shut it. She sighed. Inwardly, she knew what Suki had done was her job, and she also knew that she couldn't afford to play favourites at the expense of Zuko's life, but still…still! _This sucks,_ she thought bitterly.

"Fine," Toph muttered, "I'll come along. Can you please unpin me now?"

Suki was relieved. She had seriously thought that Toph would fight her more, and wasn't sure if she had the energy to drag her kicking and screaming into the Palace. Wordlessly, she pulled her fans out, replaced them, then reached down and unblocked her bending. Toph winced, muttering something incoherent but bitter.

"You should get it back in a few minutes," Suki replied. With a firm grip, she took hold of Toph's left arm. "Let's go."

Toph growled, but complied.

* * *

Zuko stared, his mouth open. Mai, beside him, was also staring, her face perfectly blank. Her lips, however, twitched a little.

They were seated on the dais of the main throneroom, summoned there by Suki, who had informed them that she had apprehended an intruder. She hadn't told them who, but they found out soon enough.

Toph, needless to say, was taking it badly. "Your Royal Guard is a _bitch_," she snapped, her face livid.

Mai lost it. She leaned over and started laughing, covering her mouth to stifle the sound, but failing to hide it completely.

Zuko blinked slowly. "You…caught Toph," he said, his voice bewildered.

Suki, inwardly, wondered if Zuko was going to blow it for her. It irritated her, to be honest. She was hired to do a job, and while, yes, it was Toph, she also had to prove that she wasn't going to let that blind her from doing her duty. If Zuko chastised her for intercepting Toph, then she knew he didn't take her seriously, and also knew that she wouldn't stay. But he didn't know that. Ultimately, her staying was up to him.

In a calm voice, she replied, "She was lurking in the underground bunker, in the canals. She admitted that she was sneaking in. She set off one of my silent triggers and I was able to grab her before she reached you."

Mai was still laughing, albeit quietly. Suki wanted to throw something at her. In the few weeks that she had been working in the Palace, she had become close with the older girl, but even then it wasn't enough to overlook being laughed at for this.

Zuko reached over and placed a hand on his wife's shoulder lightly. She looked up, wiping the tears from her eyes and sucking in a few breaths, cutting the laughter short. He didn't meet her gaze. He still looked blown away. Mai sat up straight, and calmed herself. The mask was back in place.

Suki added, "Your orders?"

Toph growled. "_What_ orders? It's me! I'm just here to visit! Come on, Zuko, tell her she's nuts!"

Mai cleared her throat. She met Suki's gaze and raised an eyebrow, but Suki didn't acknowledge it. She was watching Zuko closely.

His eyes finally met hers. He took in a breath, exhaled it, and finally spoke. "Sorry," he said softly. "But I was surprised. No one, and I mean _no one_, within the Palace has ever been able to catch Toph before, no matter how hard they try."

Toph, despite the situation, grinned, looking smug.

Zuko smiled. "I should promote you."

Toph lost it again. "_What?! _Zuko, have you lost your damned mind?!"

Zuko frowned. "Toph, I've told you a hundred times, the bunker canals are not for your personal use. You should enter from the front door like a normal person!"

"That's boring!" she answered. "And besides, I've been doing this for years! Stop being such a wuss!"

Suki stayed quiet, but inwardly, she was satisfied. Zuko had acknowledged that she had done the right thing and knew she was serious about her job. It was what she wanted, and even though Toph was pissed off, she wasn't sorry.

"I have to say," Mai spoke up, one eyebrow hidden by her bangs, "that I'm really impressed by your skill, Suki. I would have never thought that you could catch her. I'm glad to see that we're in good hands."

Zuko smirked a little. "If you can catch Toph, you can catch _anyone_."

Suki shrugged. "I would divulge my secrets, but they're best kept to myself. Just know that I know what I'm doing."

"Excuse me!" Toph broke in, her voice shrill. "I'd hate to interrupt this lovely display, but there is the slight issue at hand at how _I'm still in custody!"_

Suki nodded to Zuko. "My job is to apprehend intruders and keep you safe. Once delivered to you, their fate is in your hands."

Zuko raised his eyebrow, clearly hearing the true meaning of her words: _I did my job; now you have to clean up the mess._

"Are you absolutely _shitting me?!"_ Toph exploded, stomping on the ground with one foot, then the other. The ground beneath them shoot, but no one in the room reacted. "I come by for a visit and I'm _arrested?!"_

"Do you even get _why_ you were arrested, Toph?" Zuko snapped back, finally losing his temper. As much as he adored Toph, and found her a wonderful friend and ally, her outbursts were the last straw. When she opened her mouth to reply, he broke in, "Because I honestly don't think you _do._ Do you not understand what has been going on for the past couple of months? Do you not understand what's at stake, here?"

Toph closed her mouth, her eyes narrowing.

Mai reached over and touched Zuko's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. He shut his eyes, clenched his teeth, then sighed.

And then Toph's eyes flew open and widened, her scowl disappearing into a look of bewilderment. "Oh. _Oh. OH. _Oh oh oh, OH!" She threw out one hand and pointed at Mai. "Oh _no you didn't!"_

Suki fought he urge to slap her hand to her forehead. But only just.

For a few moments, Toph dissolved into what was so obviously hysterical laughter, clutching her stomach and hunching over. But then, like someone blowing out a candle, she stopped. Her eyes widened again and she blushed, deeply, standing up to her full height.

"Oh shit, you guys," she murmured, any trace of mirth instantly wiped from her face. "I'm sorry. I'm _so sorry._"

Suki crossed her arms over her chest, trying to ignore Mai and Zuko's identical looks of confusion. "Gee, Toph, did you happen to finally hear a third heartbeat over there?"

Mai was the one who slapped her forehead, and Zuko groaned, rubbing his face with his hands. "Damn."

"I_ told_ you that it couldn't stay a secret forever," Suki added coolly, looking up at them. "Especially after Toph sets foot here."

Toph tugged at her bangs, still looking slightly panicked. "Please don't ban me," she pleaded seriously. "Please? I'm so so sorry, if I had known I would have dolled up and everything, come on, please believe me…"

"Toph," Zuko cut in, his face still hidden. "It's okay. Really. You got the message. Far better than I had anticipated."

Mai rubbed her forehead, her other hand on her stomach. Her face was pink, and she looked away, embarrassed.

There was a moment of awkward silence. Then, Toph said, in a way-too-cheerful voice that reeked of mischief, "So, like, want me to see if I can tell if it's a boy or a girl?" She clapped her hands together, her eyes dancing. "Oh, can I name it? Please? Something ironic, like 'Whiny Blah,' or perhaps 'Pointy Bender!'"

Suki's hand finally met her forehead. _At least she got the point…_


	7. Occupational Glory

**Warning: Occurs post-series and contains spoilers. Takes place after "Occupational Hazard".**

Suki had to admit that it was a great move, allowing Ty Lee to become one of her Warriors.

She had been at the Fire Nation Palace as Royal Guard for over a month, and despite the constant and poorly-written letters claiming otherwise, there hadn't been hide nor hair of any usual or suspicious activity (save Toph, who was always trouble). Suki was wondering if she was actually needed at all.

That was, until the earthbender suddenly dropped from the ceiling of the conference hall and threw her hands out towards the Fire Lord and his wife.

Suki was on her feet and standing before Zuko and Mai in a split second, her fans flicked open and held out faster than anyone could blink. With a shout, the earthbender threw out her arms and bent out a chunk of the marble floor, holding it up and then just _hurling_ it at the dais.

Suki jumped forward, twisting her body in a slow circle and thrusting out her fans, edge-up. The sharpened metal sliced into coarse stone, bisecting the chunk of rock and crashing harmlessly on either side of where Zuko and Mai sat, staring with shock and confusion.

She landed, just a few feet before the bender. She flicked her fans again, in warning, and the earthbender rose to the bait. With a shout, she ran forward, her hands held at one side in preparation to summon more of her bending.

Suki grinned, closed her fans, and tucked them back into her belt. The earthbender seemed to hesitate, just a shred, but Suki was already slipping past her, turning on her heel at the last minute and thrusting a hand out faster than she opened her fans. her fingers dug first into the shoulders, then the forearms, then just under the ribs, all in a fraction of a second.

The air seemed to just _whoosh_ out of the earthbender, and she staggered a little, skittering on her feet, before crashing to the ground in a heap at Suki's feet.

Suki breathed in, then out, a thin sigh of satisfaction. With a smile, she winked up at her employers, then bent down to lug the earthbender away.

Just another day at work.


	8. Shiny New Toy

_Writer's Note: This fic is set shortly after "Alone" in this series. It focuses more on Suki and Sokka than it does Mai and Zuko, but it happens in the same universe that I've set up for this collection of stories. As such, I thought it would belong here, despite not being solely about Mai and Zuko. _

* * *

"Wow..." Suki's eyes were huge on her face as Sokka led her into the Northern Air Temple's main landing port. Scattered throughout the skies were dozens of gliders that skirted through the sky with next no to effort. Suki was instantly delighted by this sight, and couldn't tear her gaze away from it until Sokka poked her cheek. She made a face, but he smiled, so she let him get away with it.

Sokka then threw his arm up and waved at one glider, and Suki followed his gaze to what looked like Teo with wings. She had heard rumours, but couldn't help but be surprised by the sight. _They really are kind of like airbenders,_ she mused.

Teo veered over and skidded onto the runway, using both inertia and skill in order to skid himself over to the two of them. As he slid, the wings of his glider folded up into his chair. Suki stepped back a bit in surprise, but Sokka stood calmly with a grin.

"Oh, wow," Teo said as a greeting, his eyes wide and his smile wider. "Wow, look at you, Suki, you look amazing like that!"

Suki smiled; this was the first time Teo had really gotten a good look at her Fire Nation Royal Guard uniform before. "Thanks," she replied.

"You took too long to come here," he said as they started to walk. "I know it's something of a trek to get here, but it's really worth it."

Suki felt herself blushing at this slight reprimand, but Sokka merely laughed. "We've sort of been a little busy, Teo, don't you think?"

Teo went pink. "Yes, I know," he agreed. "But, I dunno. It's lonely sometimes."

Suki resisted the urge to ruffle his hair; she had a soft spot for younger sibling-type people.

"And Dad's been really excited about this new machine," he went on. "He's been dying for you to get here, Sokka, so that he can show you and get an opinion."

Sokka grinned, thrilled and flattered that his opinion meant so much. "And I'll be happy to give it."

Suki blinked. "But why did he want to meet me?" she wondered.

Teo blinked back, clearly as bemused as she. "He didn't give me the details, but he said something about fans and knives."

Suki wondered why she felt a sense of foreboding at that.

The office was cluttered with books and gadgets, a myriad of clutter scented with oil and dust. Suki found herself not repelled by it, but merely curious - as if it were a puzzle she had to solve, but found she lacked the ample tools in order to do so. She recognised some of the things littered about, but only because Sokka had replicas of the same things hidden in corners and crannies of both his room in the South Pole and her own room in the Fire Nation.

Suki wasn't adverse to tools. In fact, she rather loved good battle tools that advanced the ease of fighting. In her travels around the Earth Kingdom, she discovered that many armouries were rich with the kind of weapons that the Mechanist probably invented, including her own beloved wrist-shields. Coming to the source was something of an interest, so she was glad for the invite.

She was pondering these things when the Mechanist suddenly appeared from underneath the floorboards, covered in soot and smelling of charred hair and cloth. Suki stared, surprised, but Sokka had his arms thrown out and was shouting out a happy greeting before she could ask any questions.

"Sokka! You two are early!" the Mechanist declared as his own greeting.

"Actually, Dad..." Teo pointed over to a thickly layered candle. Once he did, something sparked, and it began to make snapping noises. Suki was instantly charmed by this.

"Ah," the Mechanist eyed the candle suspiciously, as if it had duped him somehow. "Then I suppose you're right on time." He turned back to them and glanced right at Suki with a somewhat lopsided gaze. "And hello! Nice to meet you at last, Kyoshi Warrior Suki!" He then corrected himself. "Ah, Royal Guard Suki." And here he bowed.

Suki smiled, clasped her hands together, in Fire Nation style, and bowed back. "Thank you," she said, meaning it. "I'm sorry it took me so long to arrive."

"Ah, details," the Mechanist replied with a wave of his hand. "You're here now and that is that. I'm just glad Firelord Zuko decided to give you a break."

Suki smirked, giving Sokka a sidelong look. Sokka scratched the back of his head and looked away. It had taken a lot of harassing letters from Sokka to get Zuko to loosen his grips on Suki for a few days. Even though Mai still had a few weeks to give birth and a major assassination group was apprehended, Zuko's paranoia and fear made him depend on Suki more. It was only when Aang and Katara - with little Tyana in tow - came by to "check up on Mai before the birth" that Zuko finally gave in.

"In...any case," Suki said with a weak smile. "I'd love to see what you have. Teo said something about fans?"

"Yes, yes!" the Mechanist agreed. He went to his desk and dug around behind it, where countless stacks of boxes and papers held up only by the wall behind them. He rummaged around for a while before picking out a long box that was tied with some kind of string (Sokka told her later that it was actually a braid of the Mechanist's hair, which resulted in about ten minutes of hysterical laughing). "Follow me into the courtyard. I need the space," the Mechanist said with a smile.

As they walked back, Sokka sidled up to the Mechanist and started chatting about various improvements made on a few gadgets he had, himself. Suki had to roll her eyes at that, since most of those "improvements" had cost her several rugs in her room and, in one case, one of her make-up kits.

Suki leaned over to Teo. "This doesn't have any kind of...explosive property to it by any chance, does it?"

Teo took the question seriously, even though she was partially joking. "No, I don't think so," he replied, a finger to his lips. "I didn't hear anything blow up when he said he was working on it."

That sense of foreboding increased.

Back outside on the courtyard, Teo reached over to the side of his chair and flicked a button, the wings of his glider swooshed out again. The Mechanist smiled and watched as his son threw himself in a furious speed and then launched himself up into the sky.

"Wow," Sokka was impressed. "His speed's increased. He never used to be able to get that fast without help."

The Mechanist chuckled, pride visible on his face. "His legs may be weak, but his arms aren't. Ever since he turned sixteen, he's been focused on getting his upper body strength up. And as you can see, it's worked wonders."

"I'll say," Suki shielded her eyes against the sun, barely able to see Teo now.

The three watched Teo fly around in the sky for a while, taken by how easy it was for him to glide through the currents. After a moment, the Mechanist turned back to Suki and Sokka and held out the box with a smile. "For you, my dear," he said to Suki.

Suki couldn't help but exchange a glance with Sokka. "So...what is it?" Sokka asked for her, guessing - correctly - that she was too shy to ask herself.

"You'll have to see for yourself," was the happy reply.

Gingerly, Suki reached forward and took hold of the package. It was somewhat heavy, but not enough to be cumbersome. The weight suggested something metallic, since the package itself was relatively small. With an inward shrug, Suki untied it and pulled the lid from the package.

Inside was what looked like a larger-than-usual folded fan made of shining gold and patterns of dark red, much like her new uniform. With some trepidation, She pulled it out, holding the box out to Sokka, who took it. She held it between both hands, weighing it a little and judging how heavy it actually was. It wasn't too bad - no worse than holding two of her own fans in the same hand. She probably could work well with it.

"It's beautiful," she said honestly, unable to keep the smile from her face. "Thank you."

"You haven't even seen the best part!" the Mechanist spluttered, sounding affronted by the very idea of it.

"Huh?" Suki looked up.

"Open the fan."

With a practised hand, Suki did so, the sound the fan making as it opened deeper and fuller-bodied than that of her own fans. She blinked, surprised by the sound; it was unusual, for any fan. Tentatively, she tightened her hand around the base of the fan, at the handle along the edge, and felt that it was oddly thick.

The Mechanist's hands were clasped before him, his face alight with childlike anticipation. "I think you already know!" he declared happily.

Suki was beyond bemused, now, but she followed her instincts and, with her other hand, grabbed hold of the base of the fan, feeling around with her fingers. They fell on something like a knot, and something clicked, then loosened. With raised eyebrows, she tugged.

Out came a small and extremely sharp dagger, about half the size of Suki's forearm. Its handle was the same shining gold with the red pattern, and the blade was a glittering and polished hue of the finest silver.

Instantly, Suki was in love.

"Wooo," Sokka leaned in close, eyeing the piece with a mix of surprise and envy. "That is _sweet_!"

"Indeed," the Mechanist grinned, his hands now folded behind his back. "And it's yours, Suki."

Her head shot up. "I...can have this? I was just going to ask..."

He laughed. "Of course you can! It was made for you!"

Suki felt her face burn, a smile spreading on her lips before she could control it. For the first time, she understood why Sokka was so smitten by gadgets and tools.


	9. Alone

_Writer's Note: I have no explanation for this other than when I feel sick and overtired I write unhappy fics. Sorry._

**Warning: Takes place post series and contains spoilers. Also takes place after "Occupational Glory".**

**

* * *

Alone  
**

Everything was dark and damp. Even with his eyes open only a slit, Zuko could see it, and could feel it in the stone beneath his limp hands. With a faint cough, he shut his eyes, unable to move from his awkward place on the ground. Something was jutting into his stomach, but he found he lacked the energy to even shift away from it. Even if he tried, he knew it would hurt. There was just no point in bothering to try.

So instead, he kept his eyes closed and just focused on breathing, realising that even that was difficult and took too much of an effort. He could barely remember how it all came to this, really - the fogginess and dull throbbing in his head saw to that - but as he tried to centre his thoughts on staying alive, the blurred memories came to his mind, and he concentrated on them, finding that their faraway warmth kept his heart beating.

* * *

"You have to do something about this, Zuko," Suki said, her eyes narrowed and fixed on the sheaf of papers in her hands. "You can't keep ignoring it and pretending that it will make it all go away. In a few months, Mai will give birth; we have to make sure this problem is solved long before then."

Zuko leaned back a little, wishing he could disappear. He knew that she was right, and knew that it was a good time to address it - and why he had made her his Royal Guard to begin with. But he also knew that what she said was true, as well: he really _had _thought that ignoring it for long enough would make it go away.

Suki set the sheaf of papers down, picking up her tea and sipping it slowly. Despite her actions, the immaculate paint on her face stayed in place. It always mystified him when he saw it. Her eyes stayed on his. With a groan, he rolled his eyes. "I _know_. I know I have to do something. I just...I'm no good with confrontation!"

With a frown, Suki narrowed her eyes, holding her cup under her lips. "If you keep avoiding it, it'll end up coming to you. At least this way you can set your own terms."

"Can't I just depend on you to do your job and protect me?" he snapped, frustrated with how much the truth stung.

She scowled at him. "Of course, because it looks wonderful to your people that their Firelord has to hide behind his Guard, who, by the way, is also an outsider."

"Mai put you up to this, didn't she?"

"No, Zuko, I'm actually saying it out of concern," she replied, setting the cup down. "There's been, what, five attempts in the past six months? And before then, two were close enough to death within the span of three years to actually cause national alarm. If you keep pushing it, your luck is going to run out."

She looked away, adding, "Plus, I don't like bothering Mai with things like this right now. You heard what both the Royal Physician and Katara said: any added stress could complicate her pregnancy."

Zuko rubbed his forehead, feeling a twinge of stress and worry. It was true, after all. For the first few months of her pregnancy, Mai had been just fine, and everything had been normal. But sometime around her fifth or sixth month, she started complaining about nausea and dizziness. The worst was when, in the middle of a treaty renewal, she just leaned over and passed out silently, without any warning to it whatsoever. It was then that both the Royal Physician and Katara told them both what they had feared along: Mai had inherited her mother's weak constitution for childbirth, and until the baby was born, she had to stay in bed.

If this wasn't bad enough, the fact that Mai was bored was worse (the walls in their bedroom would never be the same, thanks to hundreds of knives and shuriken being thrown into them), and Zuko found himself losing his patience easier and easier without her at his side.

_And now, this. _

"Damn," he muttered, squeezing his eyes shut.

"I know," Suki agreed. "But it's better to get this out now before they add a third target to their list."

Zuko's eyes snapped open, a bit of fear lancing into his guts. "What should I do?"

Suki reached into the pile of papers and pulled out one, holding it up to him. It was the only one that was actually hand-written - the others were mostly composed of characters cut and pasted from various newspapers and posters. "This is the one you should be worrying about. The other ones are generic and could be from anyone, since that style is used by those who don't want to be known but who want to make a point. This one is specific, in free-hand, and it takes up the bulk of the threats. This is the one you need to worry about."

Zuko took it, his eyes raking over the characters slowly. He could see that it was written in a hurry, as the author hadn't let the ink dry long enough to prevent smudging. As a result, some of the lines on various characters were blurry, but he could still make it out: Threats against Mai, threats against himself, and the worst: threats against their child.

Suki waited until he was done reading before going on. "Normally I would handle it, trace the writing and link it to any known records, but there are none for this writer - they've never been caught, and whoever they are is new to causing this kind of conflict."

Zuko nodded. Usually, when threats of this nature occurred, it was mandatory for the government to keep a record of each note. When a new one arrived, it would be compared to any of the old records in order to see if there was a kind of pattern. If this style was new, then it meant that it wasn't just an anarchist or generic hater of the monarchy.

_It's new, specific - and against me, personally._

"I've done everything I can as Royal Guard to get to the bottom of this, but it's out of my league. It's up to you now, Zuko." Suki's face was so serious that it worried him. Suki always had a kind light in her eyes or a small smile on her face, but no hint of either graced her today.

"Okay," he said softly. "I'll look into it. I'll call them out."

* * *

During the next meeting with the diplomats and advisers from across the world, he did just that. "It probably hasn't escaped anyone's notice that lately, I've come down with a case of bad luck," he said, trying to keep his tone light. "And daily, messenger hawks seem to delight in reminding me of this. So as your Firelord, I request that all of you, as my partners in trying to keep the peace and restore the balance, that you please inform me of any unusual or negative behaviour that could conflict with that."

There was a silence. Then, one man raised a hand and said, softly, "You mean...you want us to inform you right now?"

Zuko fought the urge to roll his eyes. "Yes."

"But..." This speaker was a woman from the Northern Water Tribe. "None of us would dare such a thing. We all want peace just as much as you do, Firelord Zuko."

A man from the Earth Kingdom nodded. "Exactly. We're tired of burying our children."

Everyone within the room started nodding, voicing variations of the same agreement in strong and serious tones. Zuko clenched his hands tight into fists, struggling to regulate his breathing so as not to let the flames that flanked him grow.

_They mean well..._ he thought. _They're good people. But they're sort of...dumb, aren't they?_

And it also meant that if they, his closest diplomats and advisers, had heard nothing, then the source was outside of his political influence, which made the search far more daunting, because it could literally be _anyone_...

_So much for easy,_ he thought grimly.

* * *

"Ow," Zuko winced, pulling his head away from Mai's swelling stomach and pulling a face. "That kick caught me in the ear, _hard_!"

Mai smirked, one hand buried in his loose hair, the other at her side. "You probably got too close and pissed her off."

Zuko leaned back, resting his cheek there instead of his ear. "Her? You're sure it's a girl?"

Mai nodded. "Yep. A woman knows these things."

"Or," he smiled back. "You just asked Katara to check."

When she blushed and glared, he laughed. He then rubbed her stomach affectionately. "A girl, huh?" he said thoughtfully. "I hope she looks like you. You were such a cute little girl."

"True," Mai agreed with a smile. "I also hope she avoids getting your supreme dweebiness. Otherwise I'll have to put her up for adoption."

"You wouldn't."

"Watch me."

Zuko made a face, and she laughed, the sound like music to his ears. With the flurry of panic and worry and the increase of meetings, he hadn't had as much time to spend with her as he would have liked. She was really good about it, although she did tease him about getting so bored she would set the Palace on fire just to get out of bed, but beneath the empty threats he sensed a loneliness in her, and it saddened him.

Now that he actually had some free time for once, of course he would be spending it with her. It wouldn't last, but at least it was there.

"Are you okay?" she asked now, cupping a hand to his cheek. "Your eyes are dark, and it looks like you're worried about something."

Zuko shook his head slowly. "It's nothing," he lied, hating himself for it and knowing that, once she found out the truth, he would never hear the end of it. "Just some annoying things with the other diplomats."

Mai was silent, her dark yellow eyes impassive and guarded. In a split second, Zuko knew that she knew he was lying, and he wished he could take it back. But the damage was done, and something seemed to close off from her, for she pulled her hand from his hair and leaned away from him, turning to lie on her side.

"I'm getting tired now," she said, her voice flat. "I'd like to sleep."

"Okay," he murmured, slowly rising to his feet. He reached out to touch her shoulder, but she jerked away. The rejection hurt, but he knew he deserved it. Without another word, he walked out, realsing that he had to - had to, _had to_ - put an end to this. Otherwise he would lose her, too.

* * *

Several years ago, when he and Mai had just married, Zuko learned that Mai was secretly infiltrating the capitol in the disguise of a commoner in order to root out and stop any plans for rebellion. He had been so angry at her, then, because she had been putting herself in danger, alone, without him there to help her, but now he could understand why she did it, and now he wished she was still able to do it - with her help, he would have been able to find out who was behind all of this in no time.

But she was angry, and he couldn't blame her. He had felt the same way when she had lied to him, as well. But, like her, he was doing this for the better.

Since his disappearances weren't completely unusual, no one thought it strange that he went missing. But instead of going to Ba Sing Se to visit Iroh, he stayed in the capitol, keeping to the shadows and wearing his hood low on his face. Even though he hadn't donned a mask in years, he still found himself falling into the old patterns he kept as the Blue Spirit. The ability to be out in the open without being noticed, the skill it took to be silent and quick all at once...he found he hadn't lost any of it, and found he was grateful for it.

However, perhaps he was a little rusty after all, for he only managed to make it to three bars before he was caught.

* * *

It had happened so suddenly, in the span of seconds, really. he had sat down, lowering his head into his hood and ordering a drink in a low voice, intent on merely listening and hoping to find some answers. He had only sat down for maybe ten minutes before he found himself surrounded by three men and two women. He didn't speak to them, pretending they weren't there and hoping that they would forget he was there, too, but he wasn't so lucky.

They grabbed him and dragged him off of his stool. He tripped, his hands scrabbling at the countertop for purchase as he jerked around to keep on his feet. When he turned to face them, they were ready for him, and he had to duck and throw himself to the sticky floor, missing the stream of fire by mere millimetres as it came towards his face.

"Hey!" One of the waitresses shouted. "No firebending in here! Take it outside!"

Absently, Zuko made a note of that - after all, he had banned Agni Kais, which meant that any kind of dueling was forbidden. However, he didn't have much time to focus on upholding the law, since he was too busy crawling along the floor and avoiding more blasts of fire aimed at him. With a yelp, he lurched to his feet, throwing himself towards the exit and hoping to lose them in the crowd outside.

Of course, they followed him.

When he managed to fling himself free of the place, Zuko found that the street before him was practically empty; there was no crowd to get lost in! With a racing heart, he looked around, trying to find some place to ferret away to and hide until he was in the clear; he knew he didn't stand a chance against the five of them, and even trying would probably get him killed.

When they burst out after him, he veered to the left, barely missing the hot burst of flame that one of the men threw at him. He tripped on his own feet and landed hard onto the ground with a grunt, the force of his fall enough to knock him breathless for a second.

It was enough for them to catch up, and enough for them to confirm that he was the one they were looking for. "Yep," one of the women said, her voice hard. "Look at the face. It's him."

That was enough to send a burst of adrenaline through his whole body, and he sat up hurriedly, intent on leaping to his feet and running as far away as he could.

But the hard foot to the ribs stopped any of that, and indeed any _thought_ of that, from coming to pass. With a gasp, Zuko went back down, curling up on his side and momentarily just losing himself in that sharp ache. It was a good hit, and he was sure they hadn't known it, but whoever had kicked him knew just how to make it debilitating. He started to sit up again, to firebend or shout or just hide somewhere, but found himself falling over once more, the bite of pain too searing to override with adrenaline.

And it wasn't the last, he soon learned. It wasn't the last by a long shot.

* * *

When he woke up, he was in this damp and dark place, wracked with the pain of his injuries. They hadn't stopped beating him up, even when he started to bleed, and some caustic part of him also suspected they hadn't stopped even when he had passed out.

Slowly, Zuko tried to clench the hand that was pressed to the floor, but found his muscles wouldn't respond. He felt sick, but didn't even have the energy to vomit, much less move to his side to keep from suffocating from it.

He had blown it, big time. He knew that. Of all of the stupid things he had even done in his life, going out there, alone, knowing that someone wanted his head on a stick, without backup or telling anyone where he was going, was at the top of his list. Everyone would assume he was in Ba Sing Se; it could take _days_ for anyone to find out the truth.

And by then, he would probably already be dead.

_No, nonono. No, I can't give up... Uncle, Mother, Mai, Aang, someone, _anyone_, please, don't forget about me, don't let me give up, don't give up on me..._

He coughed again, his eyes squeezing shut, the mere gesture enough to send him gasping for breath. Mercilessly, it was short, but it was enough to sap the strength from him. He blacked out again, even though his mind rallied against it.

* * *

"...dead yet?"

"Nah, he's still breathing. Dun put a mirror to his nose a bit back, and it fogged."

"Ugh. It's be _hours_. Anyone else would be dead."

"Probably a royalty thing."

"Why can't we just kill him ourselves?"

"Keeps our hands clean."

Zuko heard the voices, but he felt like they were miles away, even though some logical part knew they were close by. He found that his whole body was still encased in that red haze of pain, and when he tried to move, he groaned, unable to keep it in.

"He's awake."

"No kidding. Should we correct that?"

A pause, as if there was consideration. Zuko felt his heart race, trying to will his body to move, his eyes to open, _anything, something, please, something, anything, do what I want you to do..._

"Whoa. Listen to that."

"Won't be long, now."

There was laughter, but it was fading; they were walking away. Zuko froze, unable to comprehend what had just happened. _What had they heard that made them give up?_

But then he heard it, himself, his blood turning to ice with fear.

It was his breathing - it was jagged, loud, and in gasps. And the worst part was that he didn't even feel the pain he knew he was experiencing.

_Won't be long, now..._

* * *

Without control, Zuko found himself drifting in and out of consciousness. Every time his eyes closed, he fought it and lost. Every time he woke up, it was a battle to open them again. He still couldn't move, still couldn't ignore the pain, and even breathing sent jabs of pain through his body.

Each time he woke, he focused on staying awake and alive. He distracted his hazy mind with images of happiness, thoughts of Mai and Iroh, or his friends, his new family, of the past, with his mother... Each time a memory became clouded with misery, he had to struggle to fight it off, but each time it got harder. It was like his whole body was ready to give up, even though his mind and heart refused to do so. And when you're at war within your own body, well... it's not a happy experience.

_I've done it before. I can do it again. I have so much more to lose..._

But time was against him. Without water or food or anything to keep him warm, there was nothing keeping him from succumbing to his injuries. In hours, he found himself struggling to even remember the names of those he loved.

When that happened, he kept repeating the same mantra, over and over again in his head, without stop.

_Never give up without a fight...never give up without a fight...never give up without a fight..._

* * *

"Any second now."

Something clicked in his mind, that small part that still could understand words. He was unable to open his eyes now, barely able to keep his breathing consistent. Dimly, he realised that everything had gone numb long ago, and he could no longer feel the cold or the damp.

"Agni, it took him long enough. Once it's done we'll send the letter to the Palace. It should be enough."

"I dunno. It's hard to figure out what can set something like that off."

"Please. The wife is delicate already. Hearing her husband is dead will set a miscarriage off, no problem. Hopefully, as a result, both of them will die from it, and our problems are solved."

Zuko felt something, then, something sharp and bright and warm, deep within his breast. It was the first thing he had actually _felt_ in hours. it _throbbed,_ like an insistent heartbeat, and it took him a few moments to remember what it was called.

_Rage._

"Haha, that would be one hell of a mourning period."

"A sweet one, for sure."

Another jab, hotter and more intense. He gritted his teeth so hard that his jaw _ached_, and it was a sweet feeling, because he actually _felt it._

"Too bad Ozai has no fire. I'm sure he'd take over if he did."

"Maybe we can get the daughter to. She still has her fire, but she's crazy as hell."

"We could rule from the sidelines, both behind the throne and in her bed."

Another jab, and this time Zuko felt his fingers twitch, warmth spreading from his stomach to his fingertips. His eyes opened a slit, seeing blurry shadows that were vaguely shaped like people.

"Dead yet? I'm getting kind of excited about this."

"Almost, I think. His breathing just got bad again."

"What'll we do with the body after?"

"Bury it like a peasant's. It's all he deserves."

His fingertips sparked, his breath hot between his lips. Slowly, he could feel his body again, feel the pain and the nausea and the _need_ to die to be free of it, but consuming all of that was the inexplicable and unstoppable _rage._

"Uh, is that--?"

"Oh, holy shit, that's--!"

With every ounce of that rage, Zuko lashed out with his bending. He shut his eyes, but he was unable to block out the screams of pain and shock when it hit. The overwhelming smell of it forced him to choke, and suddenly he had nothing left. He gasped, trying to draw in fresh air, but all he could get was smoke, and he couldn't breathe.

_No, no no, it can't...it can't end this way..._

And then, nothing.

* * *

Air. Delicious and free of smoke. It was all he could focus on, all he wanted to focus on, and for a while, there was nothing else.

Until he heard words. "That's it, Zuko. Perfect."

Soft, a familiar voice. Encouraging and close by.

And suddenly he could feel again. And feeling _hurt. _

He winced, the gesture bringing up a horrible and guttural sound from his throat. "Easy, easy..." That same voice said, the tones soothing and familiar. "Don't move. Aang, give me that skin of water."

_Aang?_

Before he could focus, something was placed to his lips, and when it touched his throat, he felt himself tear up with relief - _water, water...finally, water._

"Ah, Zuko, slow down..." The skin was pulled away from his lips, and he reached for it without thinking, before wincing again and holding his hands back against his body. "Don't move. Damn."

Something cold on his forehead made him exhale sharply. A hand, he realised. "Fever," a second voice said softly.

"No doubt," the first replied flatly. "Zuko, can you hear me? Can you talk?"

Carefully, he focused every shred of energy he had on opening his eyes. And they opened, just a shred, and all he saw were blurry images, but knowing that he knew the voices was enough to keep him from panicking.

"Hi," the first voice said softly. "Hi, Zuko. It's me, Katara. Do you know me?"

"Whoa, his eyes are so..._blank_."

The sound of a soft thud, followed by an "ow" of indignation, shortly followed. "Do you know me, Zuko?"

Gradually, as she spoke, Zuko could see the blurs sharpening into actual figures. They were dim, but not enough to mistaken them for anyone else.

With a swallow, he spoke, barely above a whisper. "Katara."

"Yes," she said, her eyes suddenly filling, her smile so wide it was almost painful. "Yes, it's me."

He shifted his gaze, and soon he saw that Aang was with her. "Hey," he said, his hand still on Zuko's forehead. "Welcome back."

Zuko started to talk again, but ended up coughing instead. Katara held him down gently until it passed, then said, "You're in one of the mines, Zuko."

The mines. The single, endless, constant thorn in his side. Left over from when Ozai was Firelord, Zuko and his friends kept finding illegally run mines using slave labour to harvest metals used for smelting. There were legal mines, overseen by officials appointed by Zuko that hired Fire Nation natives to work there for pay, but apparently they didn't do enough for those who wanted nothing but money out of the industrial business. Just when Zuko thought he had finally found the last of them, another one would pop up and ruin it for him.

_Of course I'm in a damned mine,_ he thought bitterly._ Of-damned-course._

"It's been three days," Aang broke in gently. "Since anyone last saw you. Since you left the Palace. It took us a while to find you. I'm sorry."

Zuko shook his head once, trying to convey that the fact that they had even found him was a miracle enough.

"We've already sent a hawk to the Palace," Katara said. "And there's already a palanquin on its way to bring you home. You're safe, now. We've got you."

_Safe, _he thought dimly, his eyes feeling so heavy after only moments of coherence. _I'm safe...except I'm not. Except they're still out there, at least three of them, maybe more..._

He closed his eyes. He didn't wake for a long time.

* * *

"...need your rest."

"Whatever."

Voices again. Soft, but terse. Familiar again.

"Don't 'whatever' me. _You_ were the one that hired me as your personal attendant and midwife. You promised that you would listen to me!"

"Are you actually _whining_ at me?"

"Are you actually _fighting_ me on this?!"

The voices weren't so soft anymore, but Zuko didn't mind. He let them wash over him, using them to focus his mind on staying awake. He felt a little numb, like he was thawing out from something, and his body throbbed, but only with aches. The feel of long fingers through his hair brought a loud, slow sigh from him; it was such a nice feeling, and it distracted him from how drained he felt.

There was a silence, before the first voice said, "_How_ is he awake? The medicines I gave him should have kept him under for at least a day."

"It's Zuko. Of _course_ he's awake." There was the sound of rustling, right at his side, and then a familiar scent washed over him, and he sighed again. Gentle lips brushed over his nose, and he tried to smile, his fingers twitching. "I have that effect on him."

"Great, so he's awake." It was Katara, he realised. "So now that he's awake, you should _go back and get some rest, Mai_."

_Mai._ Unconsciously, he shifted closer, feeling her warmth on his left side and realising that she was right there, lying down beside him. She slid her arms around him and held him closer, and for a third time, a sigh escaped him, the warmth of her embrace relaxing tense muscles that he hadn't felt were tense.

"I'm in a bed. I'm lying down. Both you and Datsu didn't say that I had to stay in a _specific_ bed."

"Now you're just being obstreperous."

Zuko felt himself smile wider. It had felt like only mere minutes ago he was resigned to the fact that he was going to die, and now he was surrounded by his wife and his best friend bickering. It was a sweet moment.

Another kiss, this time on his lips. "Hey," Mai whispered, her hands on his face. "Welcome back. I see you find it amusing that Katara is being controlling."

"I am not!"

"Just shut up and check his temperature, please."

A grumble, followed by the sound of footsteps and rustling clothes. Cool hands touched his forehead and neck, and he managed to open his eyes, just a bit, to a blurry image of Katara leaning over him with a scowl.

"Hi," she growled. "Your fever broke last night, and your ribs are cracked but are set. Your right arm is broken in two places, and your ankle is broken, too. You lost a lot of blood, but you should be fine if you stay in bed. Like your wife should be." This was all said in that grumbly one, with flashing blue eyes and deft hands that went over his wounds gently.

"Oh, pah," Mai answered. His eyes shifted over to her, and saw that despite her tone she was pale, her eyes shadowed and with dark circles underneath. He reached out with his left hand and touched her softly, his fingers landing on her thigh, and her eyes softened. "Hey," she said to him. "How're you?"

Zuko made a face, and both women laughed. Katara reached over to her side and held out a glass of water. Together, they helped him sit up and drink it slowly, Katara scolding when he tried to drink it too fast. It was cool and delicious, and with it, he found himself able to talk again.

"Hungry," he said, his voice low and hoarse.

"Not yet," Katara replied, giving his hair a ruffling (he made another face at that). "But the fact that you're hungry is good news. You had us worried."

"What happened?" he wondered, leaning back and relaxing; sitting up for too long was making him sore."How did you find me?"

Katara winced a little, and Mai leaned back with him, her expression cool and even. That was when he knew he was in trouble, especially when her eyes narrowed. "When you lied to me, I had you tailed."

Zuko's eyes widened. "You had me _what_?!" he burst out in disbelief.

"Tailed. Stalked. Watched. Whatever. You lied to me. You deserved it." Mai raised her chin defiantly. "I knew you were up to something stupid. Big surprise, I was right."

Zuko scowled a little, fighting the urge to pout, really. But then, he was also grateful, because if she _hadn't _done that...he shivered.

"The morons who watched you get beat up stupidly ran off to get help instead of helping you themselves or following the people who did it," Mai went on, her voice flat. "So we lost track of you for about a day or two, and it almost caused a scandal."

Katara's face darkened. "Especially when the pregnant wife of the Firelord held a meeting and yelled herself hoarse instead of staying in bed and letting us handle it."

Zuko's laugh burst out before he could stop himself. "You did _what_?" he repeated.

Mai glared at Katara, obviously displeased that her secret had been told. "I thought it was an inside job, and no one was offering anything. So I lost my temper. It's not the end of the world."

"Uh, yeah, they call you the Dragon Lady, now."

Zuko laughed again, so hard that his side ached, but he didn't care. The mental image was too hilarious to ignore. "Oh, how I wish I had been there."

"Anyway, Aang and I went on Appa and searched the whole capitol while Mai made a reputation for herself, following various rumours," Katara went on. "We were in the area, anyway, since I wanted to check up on a fishing town near the ocean. Mai knew, and sent a hawk to us right away."

Zuko vaguely remembered being told of this, too, but in the stress of the moment he had clearly forgotten.

"When they couldn't find you by sight, Aang was the one who thought to use his earthbending, and..." Mai sighed. "They found yet another mine."

"Dammit," Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose, the sudden reality of that crashing into him. "No matter what I do they keep coming back. It's like those bastards are breeding like rabbit-mice!"

"Yes, about that." Mai shifted a little in discomfort, but from what, he had no idea. "The group that kidnapped you...they're known to us."

Zuko pulled his hand away, looking over at her. "They are?"

"Yeah," Katara sat down on a stool at his right side. "The two men you burned...they lived, and they told us _everything_."

Zuko leaned forward. "And? Who are they?"

Mai and Katara exchanged a glance, one that Zuko knew all to well to be the "should-we-tell-him?" glance. "Who are they?" he repeated, louder this time.

"Zuko, calm down," Katara answered. "It's not something to panic over."

"Not something to panic over?" he repeated. "You didn't hear them! They want my entire family dead!"

"Zuko," Mai slid her fingers through his hair slowly, her eyes on his. "Your family is safe. It's okay."

Katara nodded. "Once they told us everything, we were able to catch the rest."

He froze. "The rest? It can't be that easy."

"It was." Mai tugged on his hair a bit.

"So then...who was it?"

Katara sighed. "Several months ago, I'm sure you remember that Suki caught a couple of spies trying to infiltrate the Palace as cleaning staff, right?"

Zuko nodded; it was one of Suki's greatest triumphs, after all.

"Well, Uncle Koryu took them into custody on the Boiling Rock, as you know," Mai cut in. "And when he interrogated them, he managed to find out that they weren't the only ones in their faction."

"Wait, no one told me this," Zuko burst out. "Why didn't anyone tell me this?"

Mai looked a little guilty. "I told them not to. You were already under enough stress. I thought it would be taken care of. But it wasn't. I'm sorry."

"So then, who sent them?"

"One of Ozai's old generals. Former General Yeng."

Zuko narrowed his eyes, his hands clenching into fists. "So then, my father is behind this?" he hissed, feeling his palms itch. "He's the one that started this?"

Mai's hands on his shoulders were firm. "No," she said softly.

"We asked him about it, and Toph confirmed it: he had nothing to do with it. Yeng did it all on his own, probably because he had lost his rank once Ozai lost the war," Katara said.

_The writing on the death-threats,_ Zuko remembered. Written on thick and expensive parchment, with rich black inks that needed substantial amounts of sand to dry. Only the rich and noble could afford such things, and it explained why there had been no record of it - they weren't looking in the right archives. It also explained how that mine had gone undetected for so long.

He shut his eyes, leaning back again and exhaling slowly, trying to calm his anger. Mai stroked his hair again, and that helped. "Every single person who followed him is in our custody," she said, her voice suddenly hard. He opened his eyes and saw her eyes flashing, her face a perfect picture of unspent rage. "And they'll get what's coming to them."

"Now, however, you both need rest," Katara broke in, all stern and matronly once more. "I can escort you back to your room, Mai."

Mai didn't move. Her face stayed angry, only her eyes were fixed on Katara, now, instead. Zuko smirked a little, shifting closer to his wife and placing his left hand on her knee. "It's fine," he said. "There's no moving her anyway."

Katara sighed, rolling her eyes and getting to her feet. "You're both useless," she said in exasperation. "I'll be back in an hour with food and more medicine, and _one _of you had better be asleep. At this point, I don't care which." She waved, then left, her parting words softer: "I'm glad you're okay, Zuko."

"Me, too," Mai added, once they were alone.

"Me, three," Zuko quipped, smiling at her. She rolled her eyes, and he smiled wider. Without a word, Mai moved closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder and putting one arm around his neck, the other at her side. She shut her eyes, and Zuko slid his left arm around her, holding her close.

"You're an asshole," she murmured, her voice so soft that it almost broke his heart. "Don't lie to me to protect me. I don't need protection."

"I know," he answered, resting his cheek on her head. "I know that, and yet I can't help it."

"Help it," Mai said, squishing closer. She was so warm and so close that it seemed to seep into him, and he found himself getting drowsy again, as if talking and blinking and being awake drained him of any energy he had regained when he had slept. He went quiet, closing his eyes and breathing in deeply, her scent so comforting that it made him even sleepier.

"Zuko."

"Mm."

"Please don't make me a widow because you're too stupid to tell me things."

He winced a little; her words were calm, but they had the bite of anger that he felt deep in his heart. "I'm sorry," he whispered into her hair.

"Good," she answered, sounding sleepy, herself. He kissed her gently, and she sighed.

Sleep came in waves, first claiming Zuko, then Mai, so that when Katara returned an hour later, she found herself pleasantly surprised that she had been listened to, for once.

* * *

Zuko was held in the infirmary for weeks, much to his annoyance. He fought it, argued about it, even got to his feet and tried to sneak out against it, but Katara, with the help of Datsu, kept him where he was.

Mai found this extremely ironic, and gloried in taunting him about it. Once she was sure he wasn't going to die if she wasn't at his side, she had gone back to the Palace proper, claiming that she was also following orders. But Zuko heard the truth from Datsu when Katara wasn't there, and found out that while for the most part, Mai was in bed, at least once a week she managed to get to the throneroom and hold a meeting with his advisers to keep them abreast of the situation to prevent scandal and rumour, as well as discuss any conflicts or troubles going on within the Nations.

When Zuko protested this, Datsu reassured him with one sentence: "I haven't seen her this robust ever since she was stricken ill, as if sitting on the dais actually _helps_ her health instead of hindering it."

Once his ribs and ankle healed and he was able to return to the meetings, Mai returned back to bed once more, although his advisers were quick to regale him with horror stories about how she was scary and deadly and "like a dragon protecting her nest, her soft words scorching like streams of fire."

At times like this, it was easy to distract himself from the fact that he had almost lost his life in the heart of an illegal mine. It was easy to forget that he had been alone, and that no one (he had thought) had known he had vanished and that it would be too late when they did. But at night, when his mind was vulnerable, it all came back to him, in dreams and nightmares, and even when he physically healed, it would take far longer for his mind to heal, too.


	10. Say Uncle

_Writer's Note: Back in time again! This time it's ten years after the finale. That makes Mai 27 and Tom-Tom 12, which is plenty of room for shenanigans =P. I've been meaning to write this piece for a while, especially since I have yet to mention Tom-Tom in this series at all. There is a reason for that, which is why this fic exists - to mention him, and to explain his absence from this series of drabbles. I also wanted to cheer things up a bit since the fic previous to this is kind of sad and leaves off unhappy...which is NO GOOD. So, enjoy some weird family fluff!_

_It's also worth it to mention that Tom-Tom's personality is pure invention, since we hardly have any idea of what kind of kid he is from the small amount of screen time he received. I went with what I figured would have happened in ten years - which would be Tom-Tom becoming a pseudo-only child, one that was modeled like Mai to be obedient and proper...only to later discover that in Zuko's court, that kind of thing hardly matters at all, and in the end he's left to be himself - and a little spoiled by his sister and brother-in-law._

* * *

**Warning: Occurs ten years-post series and contains spoilers. Takes place after the story "Alone".  
**

Tom-Tom walked into the very Palace that he had been raised to treat with reverence and awe as casually as he could. He had been doing this for a few years now - ever since he was able to visit without his parents hovering over him and fussing over whatever he did - and yet he still had trouble shaking that reverence and awe he was told to feel. It was silly, and he knew the place better than most of the servants, and yet he still couldn't help but stop and stare around him once he cleared the tall and ornate doors.

Mai gloried in mocking him for this, said it was a silly little ritual that he always insisted on partaking, but even though he protested this, he wondered if it were true. He _was_ twelve, now, after all - the same age that the Avatar was when he fought against Firelord Ozai - and yet he still had to pause all the same.

"Tom-Tom!"

He looked down and blinked, and the image of his sister came into view, dressed in loose robes of maroon and black, a smile on her face and her hands in her sleeves. He smiled in turn, unable to keep it in. Mai had always been somewhat of a shadow floating around him in the early years of his life, but in the recent couple of years, her presence in his life had increased, to the point of him almost depending on seeing her.

Once she reached him, the hands came out and his smile got wider, almost wincing as she grabbed him into an awkward hug. She still wasn't quite used to his height yet, despite being blessed with great height as well, but she managed well enough. He hugged back, unable to suppress a snort at the difficulty. "You're _huge_," he observed, and she growled and pushed him away with a rolling of her eyes.

It _was_ true, after all; she was well into her pregnancy and was looking rather round, but that apparently didn't stop her from doing as much as she liked - especially after the scandal with Zuko's kidnap. Her eyes were still dark and ringed with shadows, and her face was rather pale, but she seemed to be managing well enough, though Tom-Tom knew that his visit would be the extent of her activities for the day.

"Whatever," she said now. "Are you here to visit or to be a pest?"

He considered, and she scowled. "Maybe both?" he offered.

She reached out and flicked his nose, then turned, waving a hand to him so he would join her. He did, noticing that she still moved slowly. He decided to comment on it. "Does Big Brother Zuko know you're even up?"

Mai's eye twitched. "Why do you still call him that?" she answered instead, her hands spread over her stomach and rubbing a little as she walked.

Tom-Tom blushed a bit. In truth, he wasn't sure why; Zuko had always treated him kindly and never made him feel too small or too young. In fact, he had always treated Tom-Tom with utmost respect and kindness. But there was always some small part of Tom-Tom that saw Zuko as that all-reverent figure, that saw him as Firelord first and brother second. It was confusing at times, which is why he erred on the side of caution.

"I just..._do,_" he answered instead. "Why don't you answer my question?"

Mai scowled at him. "Because Zuko isn't my keeper and that is that. How are Mom and Dad?"

"You know he's going to find out eventually, Sis," Tom-Tom replied dryly. He wasn't lying; Zuko _always_ found out eventually.

"How are Mom and Dad, Tom-Tom?" Her voice was irritated now.

"Should I tell him? Should I get Royal Guard Suki to tell him?"

Mai growled and turned towards him, cutting him off and stopping him in mid-stride. He gulped, but stood his ground - Mai could be scary when annoyed, but he also knew that she was mad only because he was right. And he was pretty sure that he was also right about Zuko not knowing she was on her feet.

"If you tell him," she hissed, "I will tell Dad about what you did last year during the Solstice Festival."

The blood left his face instantly. "You wouldn't," he accused, his voice cracking.

Mai's eyes gleamed in triumph. "Are you sure about that?"

He hesitated. Mai knew that out of the two of them, Tom-Tom was incredibly spoiled. It was something that he knew about and didn't deny, but it was also something he didn't exploit, either. But he also knew that if their parents found out that he had purposely drank too much of the fire-whiskey last summer in order to experience getting drunk for the first time ever, he was sure the relatively easy life he was experiencing would end.

It wasn't _his_ fault! The whiskey tasted good, and it was being given out for free! And once he found out it was alcohol, he was too happy to care, and both Mai and Zuko found it more amusing than anything else...

And it wasn't _his_ fault that it made him get all happy and had him singing his academy's song at the top of his lungs in the middle of the crowd, nor was it his fault when they found out he was Mai's brother and they started adding requests. And then started paying him in coin for the requests...money he _kept_...

Yeah, probably wouldn't be a good idea for his parents to know. Especially since they had viewed Mai as a bad influence and had kept him from her for most of his life...he didn't want _her_ to take the blame, either. But he doubted Mai thought of that...or even _knew_ that - although he always thought she had an inkling, anyway.

"Come on, Mai," he said now, whining a bit. He _really_ wanted his humiliation kept from people he knew.

Mai rolled her eyes and moved to the side, and together they walked again. Tom-Tom looked around, recognising that they were on their way to the Royal Apartments - which he liked, since there was always comfortable places to sit and great food to eat.

He tried again, peering at her closely. She still looked pale and annoyed, and though he didn't know her as well as he thought he should, he knew her enough to realise she wasn't quite a hundred percent yet. "So...does he know?"

"No," she snapped. "He was in a meeting when I left. He'll be out of the meeting after we sit down. He'll think someone fetched you. Keep it that way."

"Why?"

"Solstice."

Tom-Tom sighed. He could understand he hesitation - Zuko was rather scary when it came to Mai and her health - but he also thought that she was being stubborn for dumb reasons.

She must have sensed it, for she softened and said, "I don't want to worry him, but I don't want to be fussed over. I know my own limits, okay? Drop it."

He dropped it. It meant more to spend time with her, anyway.

The rest of the walk was done in silence. Once they got to the receiving room, however, Mai seemed to find her second wind. She threw herself onto one of the couches and sighed, rubbing her belly slowly and closing her eyes. Tom-Tom smiled and mentally counted, and sure enough, right at one, Mai muttered, "Stupid Zuko and his good aim."

She had started saying that ever since her pregnancy began giving her trouble, and probably without realising it said it every time she was feeling the strain of it. It was sort of comforting to hear her say it; it must mean she wasn't hurting too badly.

"So," she said now, her eyes open. "What brings you to the capitol today? How are Mom and Dad?"

_Ah, that question again_. He sighed and sat down on a chair close to her. "They're fine, Mai. Can't I visit my big sister without a reason from them?"

She smirked. "You usually visit when you've had enough of being hen-pecked. I put up with it for eighteen years, and you're balking at twelve? Amateur." She shifted in her seat. "I know why you're here, and I think it's really immature."

Tom-Tom blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Mom and Dad could have come in person - nobody here hates them. If they want to know how Zuko and I are, then they should just come here and visit, instead of sending you."

"Mai, I came here on my _own_," he answered, getting annoyed. "I personally wanted to know how you and Big Brother Zuko are. I'm not a messenger, and never have been."

Mai raised a brow. "What about in the future?"

His answer was a scowl. He understood her paranoia, but not everyone had ulterior motives - least of all him. He also knew that she and their parents didn't get along too well, but while Mai blamed them, Tom-Tom secretly thought that Mai was being stupid, too. "Why are you so crabby?" he said instead, unable to keep the impatience from his voice. "You're usually thrilled to see me."

"I _am_ thrilled," she said, sounding like she meant it. "I'm just impatient, waiting for Zuko to hurry up and finish his stupid meetings that I'm too wussy to attend."

"What, I'm not good enough company for you?" Tom-Tom teased, though secretly he wondered if it were true. He knew that his sister loved him, and indeed took pleasure in spoiling him, but he also wondered if she ever held him responsible for how their parents had treated her, as opposed to how they treated him.

He should have known better. "You are good company, more than good enough," she replied, her voice sounding weird. Almost..._strained_. In all of his life, he hadn't heard her sound like that before. "It's just that I sort of need Zuko for something, and I wasn't anticipating it, and then you showed up and, well, I need his help a little bit."

"Maybe I can help," Tom-Tom offered with a smile. "You know how much I like a challenge."

Mai raised the other eyebrow this time. "Yes, well, I don't think this is a challenge you would be equipped to handle."

Now he was annoyed. "Come on, Mai!" he protested, unable to keep the whine from his voice. "I'm hardly ever able to visit, and the one time I can manage this soon after..._dramatic death-defying scandal..._you treat me like I'm useless and annoying!"

"I'm not," she answered, her voice softer. "You're not. I honestly didn't realise this would happen today. If I did, I would have sent a hawk and rescheduled with you so that our time wouldn't be wasted."

"Except...?" he prompted, narrowing his eyes.

Mai closed her eyes and leaned back. "Except that my water broke an hour ago, and my contractions are getting closer and closer with each passing moment."

This was all said flatly, with no emotion, like she was describing the weather. Tom-Tom stared at his sister, feeling the blood leave his face. "Your_ what_?" he whispered. He wasn't quite learned in the ways of sex and babies, but he knew the basics, and knew that when a pregnant woman talked about breaking water and contractions, that meant...

Mai opened one eye, a wry smile on her lips. "Yep. Get ready to wear your uncle hat, Tom-Tom."

* * *

Zuko was having one of _those_ mornings.

For example, take the weather. It was early summer, so you would think that it would be warm and dry. But for the past few weeks, it had actually been muggy and wet, with bizarre periods of rain that lasted days on end. That was annoying.

In addition to that, Zuko discovered a new irritation that came with broken bones, and how they occasionally twinge and tighten when wet weather arrives - or was about to arrive. So his wrist and ankle were bothering him a little, despite being fully healed for weeks. That was also annoying.

But perhaps the most annoying so far was the fact that, despite being perfectly fine and healed, his advisers were still fretting over him like a flock of fussy hen-geese over a sickly chick. He understood their worry, but found it _extremely_ annoying, especially since he was_ fine. _

When his fingers went to the bridge of his nose and massaged, Adviser Chi leaned in towards the throne, his hands clasped to his chest. "Are you not well, Firelord?" he asked softly. "Do you have a headache? Do you need a break?"

_I need to break_ something, Zuko thought moodily, frustrated now. If the revolt against him and Mai had done anything, it was definitely successful in making him look like a weakling.

Standing at his side, her arms held behind her back and her face expressionless, stood Suki. She had taken to attending the meetings ever since her hire, but Zuko knew that it wasn't just his imagination that she stood closer to him than she had before. She never said anything during these meetings - she just stood at his side, her legs apart, her arms behind her, her eyes swooping over the entire throne room constantly, sharply looking for anything out of the ordinary. While her silent vigilance usually comforted him, this time it bugged him; he wished she would speak up for him and reassure everyone that he was just fine and didn't need babying.

But he knew she wouldn't do that. She was nothing if not professional.

"I'm fine," he said slowly, lowering his hand from his face. "Please don't think that I can't handle this sort of thing. It's a simple, routine meeting, and I'm just fine. Now, can we _please_ change the subject of my health and keep on track?"

A few of the advisers had the decency to blush or look embarrassed, but Chi was stubborn. "If you're not well, we can hold off," he said slowly. "Especially when it comes to why we've gathered this meeting."

Zuko's temper finally sparked. "I know why we're here and I would like it if we just talked about it instead of dancing around it like a bunch of drunken sailors!" he snarled, the fires surrounding him jumping in reply to his emotion.

"Zuko," Suki's voice broke in softly, her lips barely moving. He sighed. Her voice was calm, but it held the slight hint of reproach.

"Please, just update me on my sister and then we can be done and you won't have to worry about _how my health is_," he added, unable to keep the contempt from his voice.

A few of the advisers exchanged glances, and Suki shifted a little from foot-to-foot, but Adviser Ling stood up slowly, holding a rather short-looking piece of parchment between her two hands. She swallowed, then began. "Princess Azula's state has been, for the most part, stable," she began. Zuko cupped his cheek in his hand, listening to what was being said, as well as what _wasn't_. "For the past decade, she has gone through various stages of her illness. She will go from catatonic to almost comatose. She will lash out with her bending, only to later forget she can."

_So she's improving, but not much,_ Zuko concluded silently. _Ten years under the best care I can give her has done little to ease her insanity. I'm at a loss._

"However..."

His head jerked up. "However?" he echoed.

"However...there are moments - rare moments - that she appears normal. She keeps herself clean and tidy, she carries conversation...she even eats and makes snide remarks about what she is eating."

He found himself smiling faintly. "That's my sister, alright," he murmured.

Ling nodded. "These lucid moments, while brief, have been increasing more over the past three years. With time...with time, they may be permanent."

For the first time in what feels like ages, he feels a bite of hope deep within his breast. For so long, Azula had been thought to be a lost cause, almost as if she was happy with her prison of madness. But hearing this recent report makes it seem like, maybe, she was close to being on the path to healing.

"Thank you," Zuko said honestly, swallowing the urge to add, _Was that so hard?_ "I think now we need to focus on-"

The doors suddenly groaned open, causing everyone - even Suki - to start in surprise. No one was ever willing to interrupt a meeting with the Firelord - unless the reason was urgent. Zuko was already on his feet, Suki a step or two in front of him, when a high-pitched young voice shrieked out, "Sorry to interrupt you but I don't know what to do and she's a stubborn idiot and keeps insisting on waiting for you!"

There was a brief silence, broken only when Zuko squinted, trying to make out the shadowy shape. "Tom-Tom?" he wondered.

The figure darted forward, now lit by flames, and indeed it was Mai's only brother. He was pale and sweating, his hair coming loose from its topknot. "You need to come quick, because I know she says she's fine, but she's making horrible jokes and calling me Uncle and-"

"Have you been into the whiskey again?" Zuko wondered.

Tom-Tom's face flushed. _"No!"_ he said hotly. He reached forward and grabbed onto one of Zuko's hands, tugging hard. "You have to come now! You have to summon Lady Katara, because Mai said she was the midwife and-"

"Midwife?" Suki echoed, only before her eyes went huge and she started running. "I'm on it, Zuko. You take care of Mai!"

Zuko still wasn't quite sure what was going on, even though Suki, Tom-Tom, and the rest of the advisers seemed to. Tom-Tom yanked so hard on his arm that it hurt. "What?" he snapped, startled.

Tom-Tom glared up at him, not at all deterred. "Mai, and the baby? It's happening now!"

_Oh, _was the first thing that came to mind, feeling the blood leave his face. For a moment, he was confused again - but only for a moment. He nodded, grabbing onto Tom-Tom's hand. "Right," he said calmly. "Lead the way."

* * *

It was a bad labour.

Despite being prepared for it for weeks, and despite having one of the best midwives in the entire world, Mai still had inherited the curse of her family's women, and the process was long, hard, and painful. While she herself hardly uttered a scream, panic was still thick in the air during the nine hours it took for the baby to be born - and long after.

Zuko was of the most panicked, but unlike Aang or Tom-Tom, he didn't show it as much as they had all thought he would. His eyes were bright, and his mouth was a hard line, but he kept quiet and helped when he could, never straying too long from Mai's side and always making sure he wasn't underfoot. There were no comical moments of shock, no fainting or teasing, or revelry. Everything was too close for comfort, too worrisome to relax this soon.

But the baby was born - a girl, just like Mai and Katara thought. She was born with a full head of wispy black hair, and her shrieks and screams from being brought into this new world were loud and almost piercing. Mai laughed very faintly when she heard the screams, squeezing Zuko's hand lightly.

After that, though, it was a haze of confusion. The delivery had been hard, and Mai had suffered more tearing than normal, and once she had dispelled the afterbirth, the bleeding didn't seem to stop. Mai didn't have an explanation - she was too tired, and fell into a heavy, hard sleep after, her face pale and almost white. Katara was calm, but her eyes were worried. While Zuko watched over his daughter and held her close to him, his eyes stayed on his wife, his heart thudding dully in his chest.

* * *

Outside, waiting with Aang and a squirming Tyana, Tom-Tom fussed with his fingers, unable to cease his fidgets. He stayed with Aang and Tyana well out of earshot of what was going on - Katara's orders - but that didn't stop him from missing the tension in the air, nor did he fail to see the worry in the Avatar's eyes.

Sitting with the Avatar was a novelty all its own. While he had grown up knowing the Avatar, he still had his moments of awe around the man, just like when he walked into the Palace. After all, this was the man who single-handedly saved the world, all alone, and with a strange form of bending that no one had ever even heard of before. And all while he was the same age as Tom-Tom was now. It was hard to forget that.

Hard, but only rarely, especially during moments like this, when Tom-Tom really needed not just an adult presence, but a friend as well.

"You okay?" Aang wondered, his arms around his finally-sleeping daughter, her chubby form curled in the nest of his arms. "You look worn out."

Tom-Tom shrugged one shoulder. "She'll be okay, right? I mean, she would have told me, right?"

Aang leaned back, his grey eyes serious. "You know how your parents don't like you hanging around with us as much," he said bluntly. "They never have, ever since that day in Omashu, when you were a baby."

He knew. He didn't like it, thought it was stupid, but he knew. He nodded slowly.

"Well, then you probably already know how careful Mai is with you," Aang went on, his eyes still on Tom-Tom. "She doesn't want to break the trust your parents barely have for her. She wants to make sure she can keep seeing you, because you and I both know that they could stop her from seeing you quite easily."

Tom-Tom scowled. He loved his parents, and always would, but he loved Mai, too. He nodded again, then added, "but what does any of that have to do with Mai being honest?"

Aang shifted Tyana's weight in his arms a little. "She wants your visits with her to be perfect," he said slowly. "She wants to keep you in her life. So while she'll be honest with you about most things, you should probably accept - and respect - that some things she'll keep from you for your own good."

Tom-Tom frowned, looking down at his hands. Aang closed his eyes, sighing deeply. He, too, was tired, but not tired enough to ignore anyone else in need. He, too, was worried, but not enough to scare someone else. And he wasn't lying to make anyone feel better, either, though he wished he could.

"Do you think she'll die? And the baby, too?"

Aang's eyes snapped open. "No," he answered, his voice surprisingly hard. _"No."_

Tom-Tom stared at him, his eyes wavering dangerously. He had been holding it in, but now he was close to tears, both from exhaustion and fear. "How do you know?"

Aang tried to smile. "I'm the Avatar? I know everything?"

Tom-Tom stared at him blankly, and he laughed a little. "You look just like your sister when you do that," he admitted. "And I know, because I know Zuko better than anyone else in this world." His voice was serious now, his eyes fixed on something that either wasn't there, or something Tom-Tom just couldn't see. "If either one of them were close to dying, we'd know it. The world would be ashes."

Those worlds chilled Tom-Tom deeply, and he stared at Aang, unable to miss the degree of conviction there.

* * *

"Drink."

Mai complied sleepily - she resented being woken up to ingest whatever foul concoction Katara had for her - but she did it all the same. It was absolutely _disgusting_, and it unfortunately woke her up. She scowled, her eyes bright and furious amidst her pale complexion, but Katara merely smiled happily and pulled the cup away once it was empty.

"You enjoy making your patients miserable, don't you?" Zuko wondered dryly. He was sitting on the bed beside Mai, very carefully keeping her still and comfortable as she woke up more.

"Sometimes!" Katara replied with a grin. She put the cup aside and walked back over to Mai's other side, her hands quickly going over parts of her that, on any other day, would have gotten her full of sharp things. Instead, the only thing Mai threw were the words, "So, am I dead?"

Zuko scowled at her, but Katara smiled, taking it for what it was. "Sorry, but you're alive," was the cheeky reply. "Although I have to say, seriously..." And here her mirth vanished, her eyes dark. "You might want to reconsider having any more kids, Mai."

Both Mai and Zuko stared at her. They hadn't really had much of a chance to discuss it, but it was always a given that they would have at least two children. It was how things were always done in the monarchy. It was _expected_.

But Zuko recovered faster, and his arms held Mai tighter. "She's right," was all he said, his voice soft.

Mai hesitated, but said nothing. Instead, she said, "so what about the kid I have?"

Katara's happiness instantly resurfaced. In a flurry, she darted over to a small, blanket-covered table, leaning down and scooping up most of the blankets into her arms. She then rejoined the two, her face glowing. "A baby girl, and absolutely healthy and safe."

Zuko moved to pick her up again, but Mai stopped him, holding up a hand. She pushed herself up slowly, pressing her back against the wall in a sitting-up position, then held out her arms. "Mine," she said plainly. Katara smiled and complied, and Mai found that the small baby was warm and soft and fit perfectly in her embrace. Zuko leaned in close and put an arm around Mai's shoulders, his other hand reaching up pull some of the blankets away from the baby's face.

There was a long silence, one that hung in the air as the two drank in the sight of their new child. It was like being attached to something so fast that you have no hope of moving away, no hope of getting free, and yet you find that you really don't care so much.

"Hey, uh," Katara said softly. "I'm going to go let Aang and Tom-Tom know. I'll be back."

Mai knew an excuse when she heard one, but she looked up and smiled. "Thanks," she replied, actually thanking her for the chance to be alone with Zuko and her daughter.

"She's so tiny," Zuko murmured, his eyes as wide as they could go. "I don't remember Azula being this tiny."

"That's because you were tiny, too," Mai replied. "But you're right. Even Tom-Tom wasn't this tiny."

"She's supposed to be sleeping, right?" he wondered, sounding a little scared. "Babies sleep this much, right?"

"I think so," Mai replied thoughtfully. "Although from what I remember, they also sleep when you don't want to, and wake up when you do."

"Baby," Zuko murmured, his voice softer than the blankets. He reached out and touched the wispy hair with the very tips of his fingers. It was the softest thing he had ever felt.

"Good aim, Zuko," was Mai's dry reply. He looked at her with a scowl, one that instantly softened when he saw her face: she was smiling, her eyes full. He leaned in closer, resting his cheek to hers.

* * *

Tyana was having the most fun out of the three of them. She took turns shoving her fingers up various parts of both Aang and Tom-Tom - usually eyes or ears - only to scream when she was stopped. When Tom-Tom attempted to distract her with hand games, she instead grabbed onto his fingers and tried to eat them. _Was I ever this annoying?_ he wondered, yanking his stinging fingers away from her.

Aang drifted in and out of sleep, waking each time Tyana moved away from him. Tom-Tom marveled at this - how could he be calm enough to sleep, with all that was going on? He felt as if he could never sleep again, not until he was sure that things were alright.

The sound of footsteps startled the trio, instantly waking Aang up. He sat up and scooped Tyana back into his arms, which she protested, but she stopped once she saw her mother walking towards them. She looked tired and worn out, and - this made Tom-Tom almost faint - there was blood on her clothes, but her smile was real. Tom-Tom opened his mouth, but Katara saved him the trouble. "She's fine. So is the baby. A girl." And here she turned to Aang and held out her hand, looking at him pointedly. Aang scowled, juggling Tyana as he reached into the pocket of his robes. With a grumble, he slapped a gold piece into Katara's waiting hand, and she grinned. "Never doubt my abilities again," was her conclusion to this.

"So..." Tom-Tom stammered, unsure. "Mai's okay?"

Katara turned back to him, smiling softly. "She's just fine, really. In an hour or two you can go up to see them."

"Wow, that's so weird," was his reply, rubbing his head. "It feels like it only took minutes. And now..."

"I can assure you it did _not_ take minutes," Katara replied, her voice amused. "Get some rest. Aang, you should probably take Tyana to our rooms for now. I can take care of things."

Tyana was already drowsing on Aang's shoulder, but Aang looked at her in question, eying her closely. "You sure?" When she nodded, he hefted Tyana up closer and nodded. "Okay. I'll be back later. Get me if you need to, okay?"

When they left, Katara said to Tom-Tom, "You should probably get some rest, too."

"I can wait," was his reply. "I won't be able to sleep anyway."

* * *

But he did sleep. At least, he thought he did. One moment he was sitting there, leaning back and thinking about food, and the next he felt a hand shaking his shoulder gently and calling his name. He opened his eyes and saw Katara there, looking just as tired as before, but with different clothes (a relief). "Whass wrong?" he slurred.

"Nothing," Katara replied calmly. "You can come and visit now, but after, you need to get to a real bed and sleep."

"Kay." Tom-Tom slowly got to his feet, still feeling like he was half-asleep. He followed Katara down the hallway of the private infirmary, not even registering where he was, or the history he was surrounded by - things he normally would have been spellbound by.

"The baby is sleeping," Katara was saying, helping him focus. "She was up for a while, and Mai fed her a bit, but now she's asleep. You can still see her and hold her if you like, though she might cry."

_A baby crying_, Tom-Tom mused. He wasn't sure what that was like. He had heard babies cry before, of course, but never up-close. He just hoped it wouldn't make him panic and drop her.

Katara stopped at a door, one that was flanked with two female guards. Tom-Tom blinked up at them, and they blinked back. One of them, an older one, couldn't help but offer a small smile. He relaxed a little.

The room was large, larger than he had ever seen a hospital room be before, and it smelled vaguely sweet, like stale incense. Katara led him in and shut the door behind him, his eyes adjusting slowly to the dim light. When he could see, he saw his sister lying in a bed, covered in heavy blankets and holding a bundle of blankets herself. Big Brother Zuko sat in a comfy-looking chair beside her, wearing his best robes but with his hair loosed and in his face. Both looked up when he came in, and both smiled at him. He felt himself relax completely; if there was any danger, it was long past now.

"Hey, little brother," Mai called softly, holding out a hand to him. He walked over and took it, noting that her fingers were cold. "How long have you been haunting this place?"

"Forever," he blurted, unable to keep the whine from his voice. He then blushed; he hadn't wanted to whine like that in front of Mai and Zuko, but being tired and just woken up weakened his defences and make him stupid.

Mai, however, took it in stride, and she squeezed his hand and smiled wider. "Poor baby," she teased. "It's so hard becoming an uncle, isn't it?"

Zuko started. "Oh, that's right!" he said. "You're actually her uncle!" and he laughed, which made Tom-Tom blush deeper.

Katara scowled at Zuko. "Don't be a jerk," she snapped. "Tom-Tom, you should rescind all babysitting duties for that."

Zuko paled and held up his hands. "No, no, I take it back!"

"It's okay," the poor uncle in question replied. And it was, actually. If they could tease him, things would be fine. He knew that if something was really wrong, they would try to hide it from him and pretend like everything was normal, which was something he didn't like. However, despite the fact that there was a strained quality in their voices, and Zuko's voice was a little high-pitched, he sensed it was from exhaustion and not stress, which actually made the teasing okay.

_Mostly._

He edged closer and peered at the bundle in Mai's arms. "So that's...?"

"Yep," Mai agreed. "Nameless, for now. We want her to show some personality before we give her a name."

"Although she _is_ just a baby and probably won't show personality for a while," Zuko added, giving his wife a pointed look.

"Whatever," she answered. "Want to hold her, Tom-Tom?"

Did he? Tom-Tom swallowed, instantly nervous at the thought. "Would I be a bad uncle if I said not yet?"

"Yes," Mai answered, her eyebrows raised. "So bad. So horribly bad."

"Mai!" Katara protested.

"She's just joking," Zuko said, mostly to Katara. He leaned over and rested his head on Mai's shoulder - something that surprised Tom-Tom, to be honest. He had always viewed Zuko as someone who had to be tall and stoic and without much emotion - his parents had always told him that that was how a proper Firelord acted. Seeing him lean on his sister and take comfort and strength from her made him seem...really rather normal. He smiled.

"So," Mai said, sounding rather off-handed. "While I know this wasn't planned, I hope your visit here wasn't too horrible."

Tom-Tom blinked, surprised. Was she kidding? "What's horrible about it?" he wondered. "I get to see your baby first. I feel special for that."

He realised the moment the words left his lips that he sounded rather childish, and he blushed again. Both Mai and Zuko, however, smiled warmly. "You _are_ special, idiot," Mai answered. "She only has one uncle, and you're it. How can that be anything but?"

Tom-Tom smiled. He agreed.


	11. From the Vine

_Writer's Note: Hahaha, what? I don't know where this came from, either. These fics seem to just...attack me when I'm feeling particularly emotional, and in the end I still never really know why. Especially with this one. I mean, come on: kids? What? I don't even like kids. But then this little arrogant yellow-eyed brat popped up into my head fully-formed and I was like, crap, what the hell? So that's what this is. If it's something of an interest, I'll write more._

**Warning: Occurs post-series and contains spoilers.**

The first time his daughter shoved her finger up Zuko's nose, he knew that he adored her

Kaida – Little Dragon – was just like her mother in so many ways. She was sneaky, loved staring at shiny, sharp objects, and was very fussy about her impossibly straight hair.

She also was very much like her father as well. She was whiny, loved to shout, had a short fuse, and loved to play with turtle-ducks.

Her yellow eyes were sharp and narrow, taking in everything around her and learning as fast as she could. Her lips were often the victims of thoughtful biting when she was confused or puzzled by something. Her small, chubby body was often draped in the red robes of Fire Nation royalty, robes that were too big for her and that she ends up tripping on – hemming them were useless, as the moment they did, she outgrew them and needed new ones.

At first, Zuko walked on eggshells around Kaida. She was, in appearance, tiny and fragile, and so impressionable at that age; he knew this, he would never forget this. He always tried to keep himself a little bit aloof from her, always afraid that, somehow, even if he acted in the best of interests, he would end up corrupting her without meaning to. It was his greatest fear, one that ate away at him.

But one day, Kaida, who had been sitting with Mai under the shade of the tree next to the turtle-duck pond, got to her feet and walked over to Zuko, who was on the opposite end, sitting nervously away from them in case he said something stupid, and sat down next to him. He looked at her from the corner of his eye, worried, and she looked up and back at him, obviously curious about her father, this man who was always on the edges of her life.

And then her finger went up his nose, and he squealed and veered backwards, and she shrieked with delight and amusement, and that broke the wall between them for good. And since then, much to Mai's delight as well as Kaida's, Zuko seemed to transform into a whole other person, a real father, and it was a good change.

He played games with her, games he barely remembered from his own childhood, games that had a shadow of fear and confusion back then. These feelings were instantly replaced when he shared them with his daughter, instead giving him both joy and awe at how these simplest of things could bring such amusement and happiness in his life. Her whole being was fascinating to him, fascinating in a way that he knew he would never tire of.

The first time she tripped and scratched her knee on the garden pathway, she bit her lip and squinted her eyes against the pain, her hands clenched against the stone. Mai had watched her fight instinct that told her to cry – and win – and realised that perhaps this child of theirs was made of stronger stuff than they could have ever guessed.

The first time she met Tyana, Katara and Aang's oldest child, she spent the first five minutes eyeing the girl closely before saying a word, despite the older girl's constant chattering. Then, when Tyana wouldn't _shut up_, no matter how many times her new playmate opened her mouth to add her own opinion, Kaida took matters into her own hands.

The two girls were sitting together in front of the pond, the springtime sun a little too hot for Tyana's liking, something she made sure that Kaida understood as well.

"I'm not _used_ to how _hot_ it can be here," she said, her voice thick with the agony that she clearly felt from the humidity of the day. "At home, even in the summer, it's much cooler than your springtime."

Kaida opened her mouth, wanting to say, _It's not always this hot; there are days that it can be bitterly cold! _But apparently Tyana wasn't done.

"I mean, I don't get how you can _stand_ it," she said, fanning herself with one hand, the other pushing a few stray locks of short, thick brown hair away from her face. "You're in those long, long robes, everything except your face is covered, and you aren't even _sweating!_ And here I am in short sleeves and pants and I can barely breathe!"

Kaida started to say, _These robes are actually really light, and really, it's not that bad, especially in the shade._ But, again, she was cut off. And nothing, absolutely _nothing_ bothered Kaida more than being unable to speak her mind.

"I don't even know how you can be _awake _during this kind of heat- _Hey!"_

Kaida had had enough. She leapt to her feet, gritted her teeth, and just _lunged_ at the older girl, her left fist soaring forward as if being led towards Tyana's face by a string.

This was how Mai and Zuko, as well as Aang and Katara, learned that the heir to the Fire Nation throne, despite her smaller size, also had a mean left hook. Oddly, much like her own father, Tyana – despite the black eye – took it all in stride and thought it was the most hysterical thing in the world.

She was lying on her back, her limbs akimbo and limp, and despite her closed eyes, she was laughing and laughing, practically crying from it. Kaida stood over her, her lips twitching, torn between finishing the job and joining in on the laughter.

And _that_ was how Kaida was able to get past Tyana's faux pas and consider her worthy of her attention, which resulted in the first friendship between the younger generation – despite how shaky it could occasionally get.

A prime example was when Tyana dared to mention Zuko's scar.

They were lying in the court yard, listening to the sounds of the fountain nearby, when Tyana ventured into uncharted waters.

"Kaida, why is your dad...you know..." and here she waved a hand in front of her left eye. "All weird right here?"

Kaida rolled her eyes, swallowing hard the rude word she wanted to reply with. Instead, she said, "He's not. He's fine. _Your_ dad has weird marks _all over his body._"

Tyana sat up, her grey-blue eyes ablaze. "My dad is _not_ weird! Those are _tattoos_, and they represent a sacred and ancient cultural advancement in the art of airbending!"

Kaida waved a hand at her. "Blah, blah, blah," was her reply.

Tyana smiled meanly. "_Your_ dad is weird because, I dunno, it looks like something _threw up_ on his eye!"

Kaida sat up this time. "Take it back, or I'll pop you one."

Tyana jutted out her chin. "I _dare_ you to."

Needless to say, Tyana ended up with another black eye.

Kaida, however, would never admit it, but she, too, was curious about Zuko's scar, the one that she had grown up seeing and thus had always thought that it was normal. She tried a couple of times to muster up the courage to ask Zuko, but she always lost the courage for some reason. Instead, one day, she asked her mother.

Mai was sitting before her vanity mirror, brushing out her hair to get the night's knots out, when Kaida snuck in and tiptoed over to her side. With anyone else, she would have gone undetected until the last minute, but with Mai, that was always impossible. The moment she was about to leapt out and scare Mai, she was stopped by, "Morning, Kaida. You're up early."

Pouting, Kaida eased out of her hiding place and over to Mai's side. Mai was smirking slightly, and she reached forward and ruffled Kaida's short cap of hair affectionately. "You can't fool a master, sweetie," she said affectionately, "but you're getting better. I'm sure your father won't see you coming."

Kaida's eyes lit up at the thought of scaring the daylights out of Zuko, which instantly cheered her up. However, she was unable to forget the reason why she was there. "Mom, why does Dad have a scar on his eye?"

Mai's hands faltered a bit in her brushing, and her mouth tightened, but to Kaida's surprise, she didn't try to change the subject or to chastise her for bringing it up. Instead, setting the brush down, Mai told her the story, carefully omitting some of the more disturbing details. By the end, Kaida's eyes were wide, and her lips were full of bite marks.

Mai reached forward and stroked Kaida's hair softly. Kaida blinked slowly. "Does it hurt him still?" she asked him finally.

Mai shrugged. "I'm not sure. Maybe you could ask him?"

It took Kaida a long time, but finally, she did.

Zuko blinked in surprise, his eyes widening a little. He looked at Kaida, right in the eyes, and said, very softly, "Sometimes." And then he smiled a little, his large hand covering the top of her head like a hat. "But not so much anymore."


	12. The Lady and the Monk

_Writer's Note: While editing a couple of old fics, this little idea nagged me. You see glimpses of Aang and Mai as Zuko's left and right hands in _Too Good to be True, _and yet beyond that I haven't gone into much detail about it, despite it being my own personal post-series canon during the first three years of Zuko's rule. So came along this little fic; I get to vent out some of my political spleen as well as toy with the dynamics between Aang and Mai, and how they may (or may not) get along. So once again I'm going back in time, set before _Tea and Sympathy_, and then leading up to after _From the Vine._ It got away from me, so it's a bit….wordy, much like this intro! So I'm shutting up now. ENJOY._

_

* * *

_

**Warning: Occurs post-series and contains spoilers.**

There was no use in denying it.

She had tried to, really. After all, he was, what, five years her junior and perhaps her complete opposite in terms of temperament and personality.

And yet, as the days grew to weeks, and the weeks into months, Mai found herself understanding why Zuko was such close friends with Aang.

Granted, she had been one of the few who hadn't really had the chance to fight Aang during the war. She had experienced several encounters with other members of the "good guys" (Suki still had her moments of sensitivity, for example), but when it came to Aang, she had never really faced him.

Despite this, she was still rather surprised when, a few days after her reunion with Zuko, he had leaned in close to her, put his hands behind his back, and said, with a big smile, "So, you're one of us, now, huh?"

She had been so flustered by this, she had only managed to get out, "Rue the day I become as simpering as the rest of you."

Which, as a result, _made him laugh._

Perhaps it was _because_ she hadn't fought him face-to-face, but for some reason, Aang seemed particularly taken by her. He always made sure to greet her whenever she was in the room, and whenever there was a lull in conversation, he focused on her to start it up again.

It was…bizarre for her, to say the least. While she was used to younger boys crawling all over her and making sport of her (Tom-Tom was an expert as this, as well as a couple of cousins in the mix), having the _Avatar,_ her once-sworn enemy, desire her friendship, was something out of a story.

But then…it became a little clearer when Zuko said, rather casually, that he expected both Mai and Aang to sit with him at every important meeting.

"You're the two people I trust the most, besides Uncle," he admitted. "I need you there."

Mai leaned back, unable to suppress the smirk on her lips. "So that you won't mess up?"

Zuko's ears went red, but he smirked back, leaning towards her. "And the world knows I can't mess up with you there."

Aang put a hand to his chin. "Okay, so if Mai is your etiquette police, what do you need _me_ there for?"

"Because you're the Avatar, dummy," Mai replied flatly.

"Plus, uh," and the blush spread to Zuko's cheeks. "Sometimes Mai has this uncanny ability to distract me. I would hate for this to happen while I'm overseeing. I know you could help me with that."

Mai covered her mouth and turned her head away, her shoulders shaking.

Aang was silent for a moment, obviously not sure what this meant. That was, just for a moment. Then his eyes focused, widened, and rolled upward. "Oh, _man," _he groaned, putting a hand to his forehead. "And you expect to be _Fire Lord_ in a few days with a thought process like _that?_"

It was hard to not like the kid after a comment like that.

Aang also travelled a lot. It wasn't unusual for a meeting to be postponed on his behalf due to his travels, but the thing with Aang was that he was reliable; if he said he would make it for a time specified, he would make it.

In a way that Zuko probably never really anticipated, having them both there, on either side of him, was a solid idea. For the first year and a half of Zuko's rule, he had a lot of trouble reigning in his temper when dealing with the land disputes. It took that long to get them all sorted through, a period that was exceedingly difficult for them all.

There was one incident that seemed to solidify Aang's place on the dais with Zuko and Mai.

"Fire Lord, with all respect, _you can't just abolish a sacred art and expect the entire Nation to agree."_

Zuko's eyebrow rose, his mouth a tight line. This was one of the most infamous council meetings in Fire Nation history, his first real mandate as Fire Lord, and one that would ensure his –if not already established- immortality.

Mai leaned back slowly, her lips also going thin. Being a non-bender, she had little to say about this; her reaction was in response to the noble's hostility.

Zuko then spoke the words that would echo for _decades_. "There is nothing sacred about a so-called art that honours brutality and ruthlessness. There is nothing honourable about the Agni Kai. I should know. The last was fought by me. _Never again _will there be an Agni Kai. If anyone is found to practise it, _they will face consequences._"

By the end, his voice had risen and was tight with unspent and underlying aggravation. His eyes were narrow, and his hands were clenched and held in his lap, shaking. It was still early in his reign, and before then, it was hard to ascertain what kind of Fire Lord he would be, given that his first few meetings had ended in shouting and flustered dismissals. With these words, it made a statement, louder than his voice ever could.

But Aang saw trouble in the bravery of his friend's words.

"What I think Fire Lord Zuko is trying to stress here," he said calmly, his voice somewhat high with the tension forming in the room, "is that, as it goes in a world of peace, something as dangerous as the Agni Kai isn't a good idea."

"There's no _place_ for it," Zuko grated out, his voice thick. "It's nothing but _brutality._"

Mai lowered her eyes, shifting a little on her cushion. Zuko's eyes flicked over to hers, and true enough, from the corners of her eyes, she was looking at him. She blinked, slowly, a ghost of a smile upon her lips. _It's okay now,_ she seemed to be saying. _It's okay._

"You may state that it's brutality," the noble went on, "but it's a tradition that we, as a people, are famous for. We're known for our kind of personal justice here…"

And that was where it almost fell apart. With those words, a laugh, akin to a hoarse bark, escaped Zuko. "You call that _justice?_" he snapped. The fires around him, muted in comparison to his predecessors, flared to life suddenly in his ire. "You call that…_that_…"

Aang held out his hand, throwing his arm out at Zuko, the palm flat towards the older boy. Zuko's words stuttered to a halt. Wordlessly, Aang inhaled, his other hand rising slightly before lowering, and the flames died back to their calmer state.

Aang kept his hand out. "Try to see it from this side," he said, his voice so serious it was mesmerizing. Even Mai was unable to tear her eyes away. "While it's commendable, really, to take a form of retribution into your own hands, to try and solve your problems on your own, try to see it from Fire Lord Zuko's point of view, and from mine, as well. All we want is for there to be peace and happiness. We want this world to be free of reasons to resort to violence. While the Agni Kai's history is long and celebrated, in a time of prosperity, it can only stain the beauty of the Nation. There is no place for it anymore."

He paused, then lowered his hand, putting it to his chin. The entire room seemed to hold his breath, wondering what this young Avatar would say next.

"Unless," he said aloud, "we make it into a game, call it something else. Make it a tournament of sorts. Call it the Agni Cup, or something."

And those were the words that made _Aang_ immortal within the Fire Nation.

After, when the meeting was broken up and the three went to the main apartments, Zuko sat down and cradled his head in his hands, refusing to look up. Mai sat down beside him, her finger out to poke some sense into him, but his words stopped her.

"This is why I need you both," he murmured, his voice choked. "I almost lost it in there. All I could see was my father, about to burn me. I couldn't see anything else. I almost went crazy."

Aang sat down on his other side, looking at Mai over his head. She looked back, her shoulders slumping a little. It always made her feel helpless in times like this; she wasn't good with comforting words. Aang leaned down and put a hand on Zuko's back.

"You kept calm," he replied. "As calm as anyone could expect."

"Yeah, come on, Zuko," Mai agreed. "Even if the world doesn't know about your personal history, they have to agree that the Agni Kai is outdated."

Zuko looked up, his eyes dark with his worry. "I almost snapped."

Mai cupped his cheek, her eyes flicking over to Aang's. Their eyes met, and they both had a mutual thought: _He's afraid he's turning into Ozai…_

"But you didn't," Aang protested.

"Because of you," Zuko muttered.

"Right!" Aang agreed happily. "Because of us! You're not alone, and you never will be."

Mai couldn't help herself. She tapped his cheek lightly. "Yeah, Zuko. Stop fretting. We'll always be here to stop you from being a jackass."

Zuko snorted out a laugh, shutting his eyes and lowering his head again. "Thanks," he whispered.

It wasn't just the dais that brought Aang and Mai closer. It was down time, as well. Throughout the years, especially during harder times, the only relief came with time spent amongst friends. It was fleeting at best, but cherished all the same.

At first, if she were to be honest, Mai loathed these kinds of get-togethers. It wasn't easy for her to just let things go, nor was it easy for her to pretend they never happened. She wasn't like Ty Lee, but at least she wasn't like Azula, either.

When a year passed since Ozai's downfall, Aang and Katara paid a visit to the Palace. When Mai received the summons to see them in the city, she was, to say the least, bemused; the request was for her, and her alone. There was no mention of Zuko, save one line near the end: _Keep this from Zuko!_

She had trouble lying to him, especially since they were going to get married in the fall, but she managed it, just a little. When she met up with them at the inn they were staying at, she had a lot of questions and a fair amount of comments, but she said nothing. She merely sat in front of them, placed her hands in her lap, and _glared._

Katara and Aang exchanged glances, apparently deciding between them as to who would speak first. Katara apparently was chosen, because she broke the gaze first. She smiled, her eyes shining, and she leaned in close over the table. "Mai, guess what?"

Mai inwardly sighed. She really liked her new friends, but sometimes they got on her nerves. _Or maybe I still don't understand them, yet._ "No," she answered flatly.

Aang puffed out his cheeks. "Come on, it's really great!" he protested.

"You made me lie to Zuko," was her answer. "This better be worth it."

Aang flushed, and Katara fidgeted a little with her hair. To Mai's surprise, they both looked shamed, which made her regret the harshness of her words, just a little. "Sorry, Mai," Aang admitted. "I promise, we won't do that again, but it's for a good cause, I assure you."

Mai raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Katara nodded, smiling again. "Tomorrow is the year-anniversary of the comet, right?"

Mai nodded slowly, fighting the urge to roll her eyes.

"So, we were thinking of having a little get-together for Zuko, you know, a celebration of sorts," Aang burst out, his voice excited. "He's had such a rough year, and every time I see him nothing seems to cheer him up. So, we were thinking…"

Mai stared. "A surprise party," she finished, her eyes wide. "To cheer Zuko up?"

Katara and Aang nodded, both looking ridiculously pleased with themselves.

Mai realised something, very deep down, something that solidified and kept its shape: _These people love Zuko, so much, just like you do, but it's not just that. They love _you_, too, in their own way. Why _else_ would they share their silly schemes with you?_

_They're your _friends, _Mai. Let them into your heart. They will not betray you._

She was touched, truly touched. She felt her cheeks burn a little, but there was no use in hiding it; she had no real explanation anyway. She smiled, leaned in close, and said, "I'm in. Tell me what I can do."

Together, they hatched a very elaborate plan: Mai and Aang would distract Zuko for the morning, while Katara and the others (everyone within their little gang had shown up for this) prepared the main hall of the Palace for the celebration. Aang's idea of a distraction was to keep Zuko outside in the courtyards to play with the turtleducks, but Mai was adamant about her opinion.

"No," she said sternly. "Not the ponds. Not tomorrow."

Aang froze. "But, why? It's such a happy place, full of new life." He smiled. "It's beautiful there."

Mai shook her head. "It holds bitter memories," she answered. "Zuko doesn't need to be reminded of his mother's absence on a happy day, Aang."

Katara and Aang again exchanged glances. "But…even if it were to sadden him, it would be good to cheer him up later," Aang protested.

Mai snorted. "Zuko soaks in his depression. He has a right, but it can be tiring and difficult to drag him out of it. If he's in that state and you surprise him with something happy, he's just going to react badly. It may just…" She held up her hand, trying to find more eloquent words, but failing. "It'll just piss him off, Aang. No."

"Mai, I respect that you know Zuko very well, but so do I," Aang persisted. "It'll be a great pick-me-up, something that he can look forward to, to look back on and see it as a sort of light to a sad day."

"I don't want _any_ sadness on this day, Aang," she snapped, her temper getting away from her. "Think of something else, or trash the plan. No exceptions."

"Mai…"

"Aang," Katara broke in, putting a hand on Aang's shoulder. "She's right. Let it go."

"Why are you making a big deal out of this, anyways?" Mai wondered, her eyes narrowed. "Why are you fighting me on this?"

"I just…wanted Zuko to find the most happiness, you know?" Aang admitted, his voice soft. "And I thought, one way to have him experience that would be to also taste sadness, too."

"Not everything is a koan," Mai said, her voice harder than she intended.

"In any case," Katara broke in again, especially when Aang's face reddened and his eyes flashed with irritation. "We have to think of another plan. Any ideas, Mai?"

"Let me distract Zuko in my own way," she replied, somewhat mysteriously. "I promise that it won't interfere with the plans."

Katara and Aang exchanged somewhat wary glances, and Mai had to hide a smirk; they had guessed what she had meant, but were too polite (or somewhat uncomfortable) to say anything about it.

What she never owned up to, however, was the fact that what they had guessed was only part of it. The morning, which was gifted to the both of them from the officials, was spent entirely in bed, under the covers, teasing and laughing, whispering and caressing, giggling and touching, and it was one of the sweetest pockets of time that Mai had ever experienced with him. It was exactly the way she had wanted to spend the morning; seeing his eyes sparkle, glaze over with passion, glow with intense feeling, close with unspeakable pleasure…it was perfect.

In the afternoon, as an additional surprise of her own making, Iroh surprised Zuko by just showing up at the dining hall holding a huge pot of tea and a sneaky grin. Mai shot him a sly smile of her own, while Zuko leapt to his feet and spluttered out happy greetings, not even letting Iroh set down the tea before assaulting him with a hug.

_Perfect,_ Mai thought with a smile, watching Zuko and Iroh chat amicably about everything, including the anniversary of the comet and what the capitol was doing to celebrate it.

"And you, Zuko," Iroh broke in, holding out a cup of tea to his nephew. "What are your plans to celebrate?"

Zuko made a face. "I'm not even sure this is something _to _celebrate. The comet rained down so much destruction on the Earth Kingdom. It's the sign of hardship for a lot of people…"

Iroh and Mai exchanged worried glances. Mai broke in. "But, Zuko, it's also a day of liberation. The entire world was freed that day."

Zuko looked into his teacup somberly, his eyes downcast. "I know. But…some people's lives ended that day, and not just with death."

Iroh sighed, and Mai winced a little. Both knew where Zuko's mind was, and there was no delicate way to veer him away. With a light touch, Mai place her hand on his back. He looked over at her, and she looked back, trying to show that she understood; after all, she _had_ been Azula's best friend at one point.

Iroh sipped his tea slowly, taking his time to taste it, before speaking. His voice was soft, but not without its degree of sternness. "Zuko, you are the Fire Lord now. Like it or not, it is your destiny to, for lack of better phrasing, end lives in one way or another."

Mai shot a sharp look to him, but he merely raised an eyebrow. Zuko, however, had raised his head and was listening, despite the grim expression on his face.

"The lives you claim ended a year ago made way for hundreds of lives to continue," Iroh went on, his eyes dark. "The lifestyle that my brother sought out was one that would be built upon thousands of ghosts."

Zuko blinked, slowly, and Mai's anger faded. It made sense.

"Please, understand that I do not say this to dishearten you; rather, I say it to remind you that the events of last year, while still a loss, could have amounted to something much worse."

"I know," Zuko murmured, his voice soft. "I just…wish things would be happier."

Mai grabbed onto Zuko's face with both hands, unable to keep herself from doing so. She dragged his face to hers, pushing her nose to his. She stared into his bewildered eyes. "Things _are_ happier, you big whiner," she snapped. "Look at you: your eyes have never been brighter in all of the years I have known you."

"And," Iroh broke in with a smile, "your shoulders have never been seen below your ears for this long."

Zuko sighed, and finally – _finally _– he smiled, closing his eyes. "Now you're just making fun of me," he accused.

Mai kissed him lightly before letting go of his face. "So what?" she replied flatly. "You deserved it."

It had been a close call, but they had managed to finish the afternoon with laughter, louder and freer than before that moment of darkness. Mai found herself wondering, albeit briefly, if that was what Aang had meant by tasting sadness before being able to let real joy into the heart.

_Damn,_ she thought, _the little brat was right, after all._

And in the end, the night was a success. Zuko was effectively scared out of his mind when Iroh and Mai led him to the hall and into the nest of his friends. What was the sweetest part, however, was when everything was settled and Zuko was egged into making a speech. His words were awkward, and his face was red, but it was from the heart.

"You're all such wonderful, loving people," he said, his voice wavering. "I was such an idiot, and yet each of you gave me a second chance, a third chance. I…" and here, everyone in the room paused, because he shut his eyes and sucked in a shaky breath. "I love you guys. Sorry." And he shot back down into his seat, his eyes shut and his face lowered, his hair hiding his face.

There was, perhaps, a split second when shocked silence blanketed the room. Then Aang leapt to his feet, soared over the table, and crashed into the Fire Lord, assaulting him with a ferocious hug and a laugh. Zuko squawked, his eyes still wet, his face scarlet. Aang's eyes opened and grabbed Mai's gaze, and she smirked, before lunging over and grabbing onto Zuko on his other side, burying her face into his neck.

From there, it was pretty obvious that everyone had to, after such a speech, hug Zuko in some way. What resulted was a mixture of pile-ups and shoving. It was horribly embarrassing and incredibly touchy-feely, not really something that was Mai's taste, but when she heard Zuko laugh and see first-hand how much love and respect everyone had for not just him, but everyone else around him, she realised that, perhaps, _this touchy-feely crap isn't so bad after all…in doses, anyway._

* * *

A few days later, Mai spoke to Aang about it. It was right before a council meeting, one that Katara was also going to sit at, and she and Zuko were ahead of them chatting amicably (rather, Katara was teasing Zuko mercilessly and Zuko was making faces but also enjoying it). Seeing it as an opportunity, Mai leaned down close to Aang and whispered, "You were right, before."

Aang looked puzzled for a moment. Mai went on. "Your little koan," she supplied.

His eyes focused, and he frowned. "What do you mean?"

She told him what had happened that afternoon, and he nodded, looking a little sad. "Honestly? I knew it would happen that day at some point. I was just worried it would happen when he was alone. That was the last thing I wanted."

Mai was touched, once again. She also realised - with a bit of shame - that she really had to give credit to the other people in Zuko's life. She didn't, however, apologise, nor did she say so. Instead, wordlessly, she reached over and gave Aang's narrow shoulder a squeeze before letting go. Aang smiled, met her eyes for a moment, then looked away. He understood.

"What are you two whispering about?" Katara wondered sharply. Mai looked up, amused to find daggers in the other girl's eyes. Zuko looked bemused behind her.

Mai smirked, crossing her arms over her chest and raising an eyebrow, saying nothing. Aang sighed, held out his hands and said, "We were discussing meditation."

Mai's other brow went up, her eyes going to the younger boy's. He smiled, raising an eyebrow of his own. "Right, Mai?"

She nodded. "And how anyone, no matter what background, can use it to become better people." And here, she looked to the side a little.

Zuko caught her gaze, his eyes worried. She smiled at him. He looked bemused. He just had no idea. She knew she would have to explain it to him later, but for now, she was a little glad he didn't understand. She was also glad that Aang understood.

And she was also really glad that, in the most unlikely of places, she had made not just another friend, but another _real_ friend. But she would eat her own knives before she ever said it out loud.

She looked at Katara coolly. "What, did you think I was uttering sweet nothings into his ear?"

Katara reddened, puffing out her cheeks. "Of course not!" she spluttered.

"Because, unlike you," Mai continued. "I like my men with _hair._"

Aang touched his head shyly. "I had hair _once_. Does that count?"

That seemed to solidify it for Mai; Aang was definitely her kind of friend.

* * *

Later in the years, throughout trials and drama, Mai had to admit that Aang was still definitely her kind of friend. Aang and Katara had always been the first to answer a call for distress from the Palace, no matter where they were, and both Zuko and Mai tried hardest to return the favour, especially when it came to the Air Temple settlements and a few skirmishes in the north. Before any of them had realised it, over a decade and a half had passed, and the friendships that Zuko had, privately, told Mai he was sure to lose were still going strong, stronger than ever.

Too bad their daughters failed to see it that way.

"The way I see it is this," Aang said casually over the sounds of Tyana and Kaida screaming at each other in the background. "Both Zuko and I hardly got on the right foot at first, right?"

Mai sipped her tea calmly, nodding her head.

"_Stop pulling her hair right now!" _Katara shouted at Tyana.

"Kaida, please stop biting her, or else I'm going to think you _enjoy_ eating people," Zuko muttered shortly after, his voice drained.

"Well, since it took Zuko and me so long to be friends, I can only assume the same for our daughters, right?"

"Kaida, stop biting _me._"

"Don't give me that look, young lady! I invented that look!"

"I suppose that's true," Mai agreed calmly, meeting his gaze with a small smile. Aang's left eye twitched a little, especially from the sudden sound of firebending on behalf of Kaida (who was an early starter, much to her parent's chagrin), but the sound of Katara waterbending and Zuko jumping in to prevent his daughter from being washed away seemed to calm him, and it stopped.

"What do you think will happen once Sokka and Suki have a kid?" Mai wondered idly, speaking louder over the sound of Kaida's bratty wails and Tyana's shrieks of indignation.

"Oh, didn't you hear? I would have thought Suki would have told you, being your Royal Guard and all," Aang looked surprised.

"Hear what?"

"They decided that it probably wasn't a good idea to have kids," Aang replied, looking a trace sad. "Both of their lives are too busy, and since they only have fleeting time together as it is, having kids would only complicate that."

"Damn," Mai propped her chin on her hand, suddenly pensive. Suki _hadn't_ told her that, nor had she given any hints about it, either. Granted, she had been really helpful with Kaida, especially in the last year when there was increased activity against the Palace, and she seemed genuinely taken with the small girl, but she had never given any hints that she wouldn't be following along and getting ready to have a child of her own. It was strange.

She would have to have a chat with Suki; that was for sure.

Suddenly, sharp little nails dug into her thigh, and she looked down to find the source of her thoughts glaring up at her with indignant yellow eyes. "Mom," she said flatly, "Dad is being annoying and spoiling my fun."

Mai raised an eyebrow, looked up at her husband, and met his gaze. He looked slightly singed, very tired, but also – she could see it plain as day – incredibly thrilled. Behind him, Katara held a sulky Tyana in her arms, but she was also trying very hard not to laugh. Both saw the irony too well.

Carefully keeping her face calm, Mai looked down at Kaida again and said, flatly, "Your fun is messy and we're not your personal maids."

Aang perked up, looking interested. "You guys have _maids?!_"

Which earned him a sour look from Mai, but laughs from everyone else.

* * *

Once it became clear that Kaida was in fact a firebender and that she was learning pretty quickly, Zuko took it upon himself to try and teach her. However, he quickly ran into a huge flaw, one that no teacher can possess while trying to teach a student.

His face was the perfect display of the agony he felt when he came to Mai with this problem. "I can't fight her seriously! I can't! It's too…it's way too close to home. I can't do it without fearing I'm going to hurt her!"

Mai stroked his hair, but said, "Of course you have to hurt her. Like it or not, as a student, she has to learn. It hurts."

Zuko shook his head. "No, you don't understand," he said, his voice suddenly a whisper. "I'm worried I'll _really_ hurt her. Even if it's by accident…I can't do it."

Mai realised that the discussion was closed. There was no way that Zuko could seriously teach Kaida without having some sort of bias that would hinder her techniques. Thus, the only other Mai could think of (and that Zuko agreed with) was Aang.

Being a student of Zuko himself, Aang seemed to be the perfect solution to the problem. But what almost everyone seemed to forget that, since Aang was taught on a tight schedule, he had learned rather…intensely.

The first few lessons were, to be blunt, rather touch-and-go.

"Straighten up your stance!" Aang roared, his hands on his hips, his eyes blazing passionate. Kaida stood in front of him, scowling, but she obeyed. "Now, I want to see a flawless set, with no mistakes! We don't have time for mistakes!"

Mai and Zuko watched, speechless, as their pride and joy, their stubborn, mouthy eight-year-old daughter slip into a perfect stance. At the sound of Aang's single clap, her eyes turned steely, and she moved, fire sparking from her fingers and toes, arcing through the air like mist as she moved.

The scowl never left her face, however.

"I'm torn," Mai admitted in a hushed voice, watching Kaida leap up and kick her leg out, a blast of fire following. "She's learning, really well, but she looks as if she hates it."

"I don't want her to _hate_ it, though," Zuko whispered back. "I want her to love it like I do, see it as a gift, and not a curse." He sighed, tugging at his hair. "What is he thinking, yelling at her like that?"

Mai raised an eyebrow and jabbed a finger into his chest. "You taught him. You tell me."

Zuko reddened, and Mai smirked._ Point taken._

They let Kaida finish her set and bow to Aang before cutting in. Kaida took the opportunity to make herself scarce, while Zuko cornered Aang and, rather ungracefully, snapped out, "Quit being mean to my daughter!"

Aang looked surprised, his eyes huge on his face. "I'm not being mean! I'm teaching her firebending!"

"You're teaching her like Zuko taught you, right?" Mai broke in, shoving Zuko away easily. Aang nodded, and she sighed, rolling her eyes. "There's no _hurry,_ Aang; she doesn't need to rush. She hates it. Can't you tell?"

Aang looked confused for a moment, but only just. Then his eyes focused and he looked incredibly upset. "Oh no," he murmured, slapping his palm to his head. "She's going to get the wrong idea. Damn!"

"She already _has,_ you idiot," Zuko snarled. "You have to fix it!"

"Hey," Aang looked up, his eyes flashing. "No need to call names. You weren't exactly the most delicate of teachers, you know. It's not hard to guess where my methods came from."

Mai stepped in between them easy. "Shut up, you idiots," she said calmly. "Zuko, you were a bad teacher. Aang, you're becoming a bad teacher. We get it. Now stop blaming each other and _fix it._ I won't have my daughter become a psycho bender, okay?"

_Success._ Both men looked down, shamefaced. Mai had to swallow her gloating; no one defused a fight faster than she did.

From then on, it was much better. Kaida seemed not only to notice the difference, but really appreciate it. By the end of the lesson, when Mai asked how it went, instead of hearing, "I'm tired and going to the springs," she was happy to hear, "Really good," followed by a quick replay of what she had learned. Her eyes were animated, and her face was sweaty and flush, but she was happy. Which was good.

Over tea, Mai expressed her gratitude to Aang. "She's changed. It worried me for a moment."

Aang nodded slowly. They were alone, in the garden, while Zuko and Kaida practised a couple of forms together in the Palace dojo and Katara and Tyana fed the turtleducks in front of the pond. He didn't say anything, but he knew what she meant, and it was left unspoken between them.

Over the years, when it came to Azula, things seemed to be looking up. The first few years were horrendous, and she hadn't made any progress at all. But once she started being visited regularly by not just Zuko, but Mai and Ty Lee as well, she seemed almost…calmer. In the past year alone she had only had two episodes, which was a record.

Still, that same blood ran through Kaida's veins, and in her darkest moments, Mai feared for her.

"I'm sorry I started off that way," Aang said suddenly, breaking Mai out of her dark thoughts. "Zuko was a great teacher, but…he was intense. It's true."

Mai smirked. "To say the least."

"And Toph wasn't exactly the calmest of teachers, either," he added, rubbing his chin. "Come to think of it, Katara also had her moments of intensity."

Mai couldn't help but chuckle. "Your teachers were all nuts," she concluded.

Aang made a face, then laughed. "Alright, you got me."

"I heard my name," Katara called out from across the garden, the tone flat. "You better not be saying anything rude."

"See?" Mai replied.

Aang giggled into his tea.

Out of nowhere, Tyana suddenly threw her arms over Aang's shoulders. "Dad," she said, "I'm bored. Take me flying."

Katara appeared behind her with a sour look on her face. "Yes, because apparently trying to waterbend with her mother is far too boring for her," she snapped.

Aang rolled his head back and looked at his wife from this new vantage. "I don't think she means it that way," he offered.

"Besides, I'm not a waterbender," Tyana added, "I'm nine. Nothing's come up. The end."

"It most certainly is _not_ the end," Katara protested, but Aang was already getting to his feet and pulling Tyana up and onto his shoulders. "Oh, come on, Aang, we're visiting!"

Aang smiled over his shoulder, his glider opening with a faint _whoosh_. "I'll be back; promise!" Tyana grinned, held on tight, then shrieked as Aang jumped into the air and glided away.

Mai and Katara looked at each other calmly. Katara sighed, sat down, and took a sip of Aang's tea, shortly after making a face (his tea was far too sweet for her tastes.

Mai smiled. "So," she said, her voice teasing. "When do you think you'll have another kid?"

Katara's face was deadly, but Mai couldn't help but snicker at it.


	13. Therapy

_Writer's Note: I'm supposed to be on a self-induced hiatus, but this bunny crawled into my head and started eating my brains, so I had no choice. It coincides with my personal post-series canon for the series, which tends to be controversial. However, I can't seem to change my mind about it. So, read at your own risk, I suppose. _

**

* * *

Warning: Takes place post-series and contains spoilers. Takes place several years after "From the Vine".**

* * *

The eyes were familiar. They shone, golden, before her, the shape and colour so familiar it hurt. However, the left was clear, unglowering and unburied in a patch of scarred skin, so she figured that she was either being haunted by her past or that this was someone new.

And then she focused. It was getting easier, she thought tiredly. Everything was getting easier to focus on, to see clearly. The haze of white-hot fury was getting easier to shake off. Kind words, gentle hands, sympathetic ears…they all made it easier, especially when it came from familiar sources.

But this face was new. It was narrow, but with some chubbiness of youth. The hair was short, to the ears, and rail-straight. The eyes were wide and full of emotion, and the lips were thin and held evidence of bite marks. A thoughtful face. Slightly afraid, but eager.

"Hello." Her voice was raspy, not often used, but it was calm, and she was grateful. She didn't want to scare this stranger away, this familiar stranger.

"Hi," the stranger said, her face breaking into a shy smile. "I'm Kaida."

She nodded, feeling herself smile without realising it. "I think I know who you are," she admitted softly. "You look like Zuzu, but you also look like Mai."

Kaida's cheeks went pink. "Zuzu?" she echoed with a giggle. "That's awesome."

Again, without control or a second thought, she found herself smiling back. "He hates it. Use it well."

Kaida giggled again. The sound was also familiar, and reminded her of hot summer days spent at ponds as well as laughing at something silly while wearing a school uniform. It was soothing, comforting, and it made things so much more clear.

"So, you're my niece, are you?" she wondered, scratching her cheek slowly. "How old are you?"

Kaida nodded. "I'm eleven."

She felt the breath just gust out of her like she'd been kicked. _Eleven years. Maybe more. What have I missed? Who else has been born, in happiness and peace, while I've been lost in the cloud of this hatred?_

It hurt. It wasn't Kaida's fault, but it hurt.

_I don't want to miss anymore, _she thought suddenly, her hands clenching together.

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?" she asked softly, a slight tremor accompanying her words. Years ago, showing that kind of emotion would have been folly, but now…now it felt natural. She felt both shamed and stronger from it.

"Nope," Kaida shook her head. "Dad said, 'Kaida should have a brother or sister,' and Mom said, 'Then _you_ squeeze them out.' It was really funny."

It sounded like Zuko, she thought. Always thinking about things like that, like loneliness. Did he forget that his own little sister had tried to kill him? Did he forget that his own little sister had gone insane?

_But this one doesn't look like she's desperate for her father's love, _she thought, biting her lip in thought. _She looks like she has always had it._

"Stupid Tyana has a little brother," Kaida was saying, rolling her eyes. "She brags about it all the time, and I tell her to shut up, but she doesn't. He's not even that _interesting,_" and here she raised a hand to her throat and made a gagging noise. "All he does is _lie there_ and _spit._"

"Tyana?" she echoed, curious.

"Yeah. Aunt Katara and Uncle Aang's stupid daughter. She's annoying."

However, even though Kaida said these words, she could tell that it appeared to be more of a rivalry and not hatred. Like she had felt about Ty Lee in their girlhood, when it came to acrobatics and boys. Like she had felt about Mai when the older girl declared that her love for her brother was more important than her loyalty to _her_.

Her knuckles went white. _No, it was best not to think about things like that…_

Besides, Mai came to se her every week, and was always kind to her. Telling her stories. Dimly, she realised that she _had_ been told about Kaida before. She had just forgotten, or blocked it from her mind.

_Why did I do that?_

Kaida smiled widely, a smile of no worries and pure happiness. She envied that. She also was glad to see it. "Do you know," the younger girl was saying, "that Tyana isn't a waterbender? But I'm already a firebender?"

That got her attention. "Really?"

Kaida nodded. "It's really great! Uncle Aang teaches me. He was a jerk at first, but now he's awesome, and firebending is easy!"

The question burst out without control. "What colour is your fire?"

Kaida blinked. "Orange. Why?"

She practically sagged with relief. She closed her eyes, exhaling sharply, and smiled. _Orange. Only orange. At her age, my fire was already tinted with blue…_

She opened her eyes to see Kaida looking at her with worry. "Are you okay? Should I call one of the nurses?"

"No," she replied. "I'm just glad. You seem to be very happy."

Kaida nodded. "Yup," she agreed. "When are you coming home, Auntie Azula?"

Hearing her name stirred something in her, especially when it came from someone so young and so familiar.

"Soon, I hope," she said honestly.


	14. Oceans of Tears

_Writer's Note: Occurs after "Therapy"._

**Warning: Takes place post-series and contains spoilers. **_  
_

* * *

Kaida liked Azula.

She was interesting and entertaining. She had interestingly bright eyes that sometimes became dark with confusion or anger, but always – always – they would focus again when Kaida spoke to her calmly about this thing or that.

Azula's hair was long, far longer than her mother's hair. Kaida's hair, out of both rebellion and convenience, was always kept in a small cap around her ears, so playing with Azula's was something of a novelty for her, since she didn't have hair of her own to braid or plait or tie up into a knot. Azula was always patient, always grateful, and never snapped at her niece if she pulled too hard or made knots.

Kaida was afraid of the hospital at first, especially when her first few visits were behind her parents' backs. However, once she came clean and admitted what she was doing to them, they assured her that it was safe and clean and that Azula was looking forward to seeing her. Kaida knew that both of her parents went to see Azula at separate times, but often she wondered why they didn't just go all together, the three of them.

Eventually, Kaida got used to the place. The first time she met her aunt face-to-face, Azula had seemed sleepy and confused, like she had just woken from a nap but still needed more sleep (Kaida knew how that felt). It had been a little scary at first, but Kaida visited every week, and eventually she got used to how Azula looked.

Azula, it seemed, had gotten used to her, too, to the point that on the appointed day of every week, Kaida would open the door to find her seated and gazing at the door expectantly. The moment Azula's eyes fell on her, they would light up ever so slightly. It was nice.

And somehow, Azula found a confidant in Kaida. Something in the way the eleven-year-old sat and just _listened_, no matter what Azula had to say, no matter how crazy or incoherent, seemed to help her sort things into order and make more sense. Kaida was even patient enough to help her out or correct her gently.

There was so much of Mai in that. Mai was always calm-voiced and subtle, always with faint words and fainter gestures. But there was also much of Zuko there, as well, with the open trust and eagerness, the smiling and laughing, the need to be approved of and the desire to show off to make Azula happy.

"Is your fire still orange, Kaida?" Azula asked one day. They had been sitting in the visiting room, out of Azula's room but away from the other inmates. Kaida had brought some sweetcakes and juice, which they shared together.

Kaida looked up, blinking. "Yep," she agreed, her mouth full of cake. "Always. Dad and Uncle Aang said it would stay that way when I asked about it."

Azula looked down at her hands. "I hope so," she admitted softly. "You're too young."

Kaida swallowed her mouthful and sipped some juice before asking, "Too young for what?"

Azula shrugged one shoulder, something Kaida knew she did when she didn't want to talk about something, so she left it alone.

There was one day that Kaida asked Azula a somewhat difficult and shocking question. "Auntie Azula, do you know where Grandma is?"

Azula opened her eyes with a start. She had been resting in one of the soft chairs while Kaida read to her, something that both enjoyed deeply, when she suddenly broke from the book and asked this. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Kaida fidgeted a little. "Dad sometimes leaves for a while, then comes back looking all sad. Once overheard them talking," and here she went pink, which suggested she was spying, "and Mom said something about 'Ursa' who I know is Grandma." Her eyes met Azula's, and there was sadness there. "Do you know where she is? Maybe?"

Azula stared, her heart racing. She wasn't quite sure how much time had passed since that horrible day that she and Zuko had fought, but it had to have been almost two decades since. It amazed her that, after all of those years, there was still no sign of Ursa. Azula would have bet that Ursa was the first to return to the Fire Nation once Ozai was imprisoned.

_Where is she, indeed?_

"I'm sorry, Kaida," she said honestly, for a moment feeling an ache to her chest. "I don't know."

Kaida nodded slowly, her eyes going back to the book in her hands. "Okay. Just thought I'd ask is all."

It was brought up only once, but it left ripples in her heart.

It was a few weeks later when Zuko and Mai came by to visit on their own. It was getting easier to see them, easier to accept them as who they were now, not who they had been before – the traitor and the bane of her existence. It had gotten to the point where Azula was even able to remember the good times with Zuko and Mai, the silly games and fun pranks they had played together before their entire lives changed in one night.

Mai hugged her, a real gesture, and so did Zuko – harder than his wife but just as genuine. When they sat down together, Mai poured them each some tea. Once the cup met her hands, Azula stared right into her brother's eyes and said, "Mother is still missing."

It wasn't a question, but Zuko answered, anyway. "Yes," he agreed, a shadow falling over his face.

"Kaida told me," Azula admitted, looking down into her mug. "She tells me lots of things. I…I'm glad you let her come and see me."

There was a short silence. Then Mai said, softly, "Of course we'd let her see you. You're her aunt."

Azula looked up and saw tenderness there, a kindness that Mai had always had that, back then, always seemed weak to her. She said nothing.

"I'm sorry Kaida…brought that up," Zuko said now, fingers at the bridge of his nose. "She doesn't have much tact, really, and she spies a lot."

Mai nudged him. "She seems to have inherited stealth from her father."

Zuko smirked at her, nudging her back. "Oh yes, I'm sure none of it is from you."

Azula smiled, then frowned, looking down into her mug. Her heart hurt a little – she had missed _so much…_

"Azula?" Zuko's voice was soft, and sounded worried. She looked up. "Do you need some rest?"

She shook her head, her eyes narrowing. "No," she answered. "I'm more awake than ever. Zuko, how could you have let this go on for so long?"

He stared, his eyes wide. "What?"

"How could you have not bothered to look for Mother?"

"I did!" Zuko protested, his voice cracking. "I have for _years_! There's just…it's like…and _he _won't help me…and…"

Mai touched his shoulder lightly. "You're babbling, you idiot," she said softly.

Zuko went pink and looked down, leaning his cheek onto his hand and shutting his eyes. "I've asked many people who had known her, and they either don't know, or don't care." Unspoken went Ozai's name, but Azula knew that he had been one of those people. "I'm combed through the whole damned world and haven't found a trace…"

Azula said, very softly, "Do you think she's dead?"

Zuko winced, but his eyes opened, and they were hard. "Yes," he said, his voice a growl. "I don't see any other reason why she wouldn't come back, after all of these years. She was either killed that night, or died long after. Either way...." He trailed off, looking helpless and young and - to Azula - very, very fragile.

Mai's hand squeezed Zuko's shoulder, but she said nothing.

Azula gritted her teeth, glaring down into the cup held before her. She shut her eyes, the reality of his words swooping down on her and sinking their barbs into her flesh. _If it's true, and she's dead…I never got to say I was sorry…I never got to prove I knew how to not be a monster…_

"Sometimes," Mai's voice broke through the heavy silence shared by the two siblings. "Things don't get to be resolved like they should. Sometimes they end…kind of…" She looked helplessly from Azula to Zuko, then back again. "…badly. There was no way either of you could have known what would have happened. You tried your best. In the circumstances, it was all you could do."

Azula stared at her. It was true, after all. Sometimes, things just…_sucked._ Railing against that, Azula knew, had the worst results.

_But then,_ she thought, thinking of her niece fondly, _there's something nice in all of that gloom._

Slowly, she looked up. "You'll keep sending Kaida here, won't you?"

Both Mai and Zuko blinked, startled by what they believed was a subject change. "As long as she wants to come, there's no stopping her," Zuko admitted with a slight frown. Mai rolled her eyes a little and nodded. "The first time she came here was without our permission," she added.

Azula smiled. "Curiosity?"

"Probably," Zuko agreed. "But more likely because we said she wasn't old enough yet."

"Mm," Mai agreed. "We only found out when one of your attendants asked us if we wanted to set up a regular visiting day."

Another silence. Azula filled it by sipping her tea, her thoughts sluicing through her like water. But the best part was that they were calm, understandable – something she wasn't so lucky to have back then.

_Zuko looks like Father,_ she thought absently. _But he also looks like…himself. _

_Mai seems happy._

_Where is Ty Lee? I miss her…she hasn't visited in years…_

_I want to go out. I want to be free. I want…home._

"Azula?" Zuko again, his voice soft with worry. She looked up and saw that he was looking at her in a way that he had never looked before; worried, yes, but also hopeful, yearning…

_It's like all he wants is our family to be perfect again_, she thought suddenly, the dark thoughts sudden but true. _But he doesn't seem to realise that our family is shattered forever…_

"I'm fine," she said instead. "I just...I think I need to rest."

Zuko nodded, instantly getting to his feet. Azula had to smile at that; he was always considerate like that, always careful and quick to understand...mostly. Mai, however, stayed seated. Her expression was familiar - stern, and concerned, the look she always wore when Azula was about to step over a line of some sort. Azula was bemused by this, because as far as she knew, she had yet to get _near_ a line, let alone cross it.

But whatever it was, Mai didn't voice it. She kept her eyes on Azula's for a long, lingering moment, before she joined Zuko at his side. Her face was kept carefully blank.

Azula didn't see them off, but the moment she knew they were gone for sure, she trudged back to her room, her teeth clenched hard in order to keep control. The moment she was inside and the door was closed behind her, she shut her eyes and just _spilled _to the floor in a defeated heap.

_Mother is gone...  
_

Feeling nothing but misery, Azula curled up onto herself and wept.


	15. Spiritual Guidance, Part One

_Writer's Note: Takes place a while after "Oceans of Tears". I had to write this, guys. I hate unhappy and left-off endings, and for some reason I really dig this Azula I've written. That's pretty arrogant, uh...but yeah._

_This will likely be my final installment that takes place this far into the future. With the new show coming out and all, I don't quite feel so comfortable writing these stories without really knowing the answers, and yet will eventually find out later (read: I hate being wrong ;.;). So, enjoy!_

_I had to split this into two parts - it got loooong. Damn you, brain!  
_

_

* * *

_

**Part One**

"I'm coming with you, Zuzu, whether you like it or not."

The voice was loud, irritating...and yet he had expected it. In fact, come to think of it, if Azula hadn't shown up just at that moment, Zuko probably would have been disappointed somehow.

Azula's freedom was still newborn. She was still trying to remember how to interact with people again, after so long caught in the haze of her own insanity. There were moments when she broke down still, curling up on herself in the middle of the hallway or hiding in her chambers in order to avoid people, and that was something both she and her brother had come to realise would be normal from then on – Azula had experienced too much to be free of it for good.

However, her progress was going very well. Datsu said to Zuko and Mai once that the fact that Azula was out seemed to be helping her _stay_ out – it made her work harder to stay out of the asylum, because this was something she wanted.

"Finally," Mai had said, her voice very soft and her face sad. "Azula gets what _she_ wants for a change, instead of what others want _for_ her."

Funny, how those words came to Zuko now, as he looked up from his place on the floor and peered at his sister's form darkening the doorway.

"Uh…" he started, looking back from his altar to Agni to Azula again. She seemed to take this as a slight, and she glared, her hands balled into fists at her sides. He recognised that from when they were kids, and prepared himself for a shout.

Which he got. "You are _not_ going to the Spirit World without me, _your sister,_ especially if you are going for the reason I _think_ you are going!" Azula snapped. "Honestly, I'm surprised at you! And at Mai! Where _is_ Mai?"

Zuko gave her a bored look, like she was a fool for even asking. "We have a daughter, you know," he said. "I didn't want to expose Kaida to this, and besides, she knows that I can handle myself. She has since we were teenagers. Mostly," he added, thinking back to the numerous times that she had saved his life without him even realising it. "Besides, Uncle taught me everything I know-,"

Azula threw out her arm dramatically, pointing at him. "And where _is_ Uncle? Shouldn't _he_ help you then?"

Zuko made a face. "No. I'm not bugging him for this. I know what he would say."

Azula rubbed her chin. "'Chasing the past is a mistake, Zuko,'" she said, lowering her voice and affecting an accent. "'You should leave it alone, lest you chase it into madness.'"

Zuko raised his eyebrow. "That was pretty good. Almost word-for-word."

She grinned. "I'm good at that."

"You're also good at butting into things that don't concern you."

Azula glared, the grin gone from her face. Her fingertips sparked. "Zuko, you can't do this. Don't be selfish about this. You're not the only one who has things left to say!"

Zuko winced, her words cutting deep. He sighed, trying to find another way out, to deter her from this. But he realised that there were no words there because there was nothing keeping her from going with him.

He sighed, long-suffering and overly dramatic, before slowly moving to one side and patting the floor beside him. Azula strode over with her head held high, as if he hadn't put up a fight at all, and gracefully sat down beside him, her legs crossed and her hands on her knees in no time. She gave him a snotty look, and he smirked back.

It was hard to admit, but he could look at her now without feeling that fear he once had. He could look at her and see someone he liked, not someone he feared. She had gone through a lot to get to where she was now, like he had, and she was stronger and a better person for it. But, despite that, she was still for the most part _Azula_ – proud and cunning, selfish and wilful – and he was actually glad.

"Do you even know what to do or do I have to teach you?" Zuko said with that smirk on his face, his voice teasing. Her expression darkened, but he knew it wasn't one of her warning looks – a look that was a prelude to a fit of madness – and he chuckled. "Teaching it is, then."

It actually wasn't so bad. Azula's intelligence had always been stellar, and that hadn't changed despite her time spent in the asylum. Her eyes were clear and focused, the colour sharp, as he went through the meditation exercises and instructions that Iroh had given him, making sure not to leave anything Iroh had said. Azula didn't contradict or challenge him, nor did she try and change things around in some way. She was calm and listened to him closely.

When he finished, she nodded, her eyes now fixed on the altar to Agni. He followed her gaze, looking fondly at the altar he had reconstructed upon his ascension. It was almost identical to the one that had kept him company on the ship during his exile, and he never failed to comfort him.

Azula said, "You still pray to Agni, even after all of these years?"

Zuko shrugged. "I wouldn't say 'pray', but I do spent a lot of time meditating here. It keeps me focused, keeps my head calm."

"Agni probably isn't real, you know." It was said flatly, all emotion drained from the words.

Zuko looked at her, and saw that her face was dark, her eyes narrowed and fixed on the eyes of the statue of Agni's face. Wordlessly, he reached over and took her hand, squeezing it. She started, her fingers jerking, before they hesitantly closed around his.  
"Let's see if we can find out," he replied softly.

* * *

_It's like stepping into a meadow, _Azula realised. One minute she was sitting beside Zuko, his hand hot and dry and holding hers. Then, quicker than a blink, she was standing, feeling nothing but a slight shift in the air around her, her hand still held in her brother's. When she opened her eyes, everything was murky and strange, like the driest autumn in the southern lands of the Fire Nation. Beneath her her feet were cloudy brown waters that were neither hot nor cold - rather, the temperature seemed to match hers exactly.

The skies were grey, and the trees were bare or full, but randomly.

The air smelled of wet, of electricity and danger. It was bleak.

Zuko exhaled sharply. She looked at him from the corner of her eye and saw the disorientation there, coupled with something like wonder - childlike and clear in his lopsided gaze. He slowly turned in a circle, unconsciously taking her with him as he did so, seeming to drink in everything as he moved.

She envied him that; that simple joy, that wonder. For some reason, the Spirit World didn't impress her too much. Her mind often provided her with scarier images.

"Oh, what_ is_ it with your family?"

Both siblings jumped, their hands breaking apart as they both turned to the source of the voice. Wearing an irritated expression was a simian-like person in orange robes. He glared at them, looking to Zuko, then to Azula, then back again, with equal distaste.  
Without hesitation, Zuko leaned down and bowed. Azula had to marvel at that a little; he was, after all, the most powerful man in the Fire Nation - maybe in the world - and here he was bowing to some unknown spirit who was giving him sass. She made no move to

do the same, truly of the belief that respect is earned, not given _just because_.

The simian looked at Zuko with bored eyes. "Oh," he said. "Well, _you_ seem to know what respect is." His eyes flicked to Azula, who stood rail-straight with her hands at her sides and with a look of disdain.

"Thank you," Zuko answered awkwardly, raising his head and lowering his hands. Really, she couldn't blame him - how else was one supposed to respond to that? "I was wondering-"

"Yes, people who arrive here often do," the spirit interrupted with some annoyance, his lip curled. "That is hardly news."

Azula had to struggle, to be quite honest. Nowadays it was easier to control her wayward emotions - although not as easy as it had been in her youth - but this spirit was trying her patience, and that always equalled trouble. Her eyes narrowed before she knew it, and her breath went hot within her mouth. Even as small blue flames licked her knuckles, Zuko's hand suddenly shot out and grabbed one, holding it tightly within his own, despite the fire and the pain.

It was far more effective than a slap ever could be. She took in a breath and shut her eyes, concentrating on her centre, just like she had been taught to do. When she opened her eyes again, the spirit was speaking, his eyes wide with mild concern and trepidation.  
"_That's_ never happened before," he said slowly, any trace of snobbery gone from his words.

Zuko carefully let go of her hand, his face bemused. "What hasn't?"

"Bending. It should be impossible to do here." The simian stared at Azula, the stare so direct and piercing it was like he was staring into her soul. "And yet I just saw fire from her hands."

Azula opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She didn't have an explanation for it, either. Zuko looked at her from the corner of his eye, his mouth a tight line and his expression grim. She used to be able to read him so easily, but now she realised she had lost that ability - she had no idea what he was thinking, and it scared her a little.

"But you're not here for that, are you?" the spirit continued, apparently growing bored with the fact that Azula had just broken some kind of physical law of the Spirit World. "What do you want?"

Zuko swallowed a little. "We're looking for someone. Fire Nation. Possibly someone who died within the last twenty years."

"Name?"

"Ursa." Azula looked at him when he said their mother's name; she saw years of sadness, the burden of doubt and worry weighing upon him that no amount of distraction could ever dispel. She saw a desperate yearning there in his eyes and could hear it in his voice. She realised, right then, that he hoped, deeply, that he was wrong.

The simian raised a hairy eyebrow. "You'll have to find Avatar Roku for that one," he answered. "Now go away."

Zuko opened his mouth to reply, perhaps to ask more, but Azula this time was the one to take his hand. He sighed, closed his eyes, and nodded. "Where can we find Avatar Roku?"

The spirit shrugged. "Around," was all he said. He closed his eyes and placed his hands on his knees, apparently intent on ignoring them.

The two took the subtle hint and turned to leave, stopping only when they were sure they were out of earshot. The ground beneath Azula's feet was still mushy and cold, but it was growing wetter by the second. She wondered what the point of that was. She wondered if life imitated the Spirit World rather than the other way around.

Out loud she wondered, "So, where do we find Great-Grandpa Roku?"

Zuko shrugged one shoulder, not looking at her. He already looked defeated and their journey had barely begun. Azula wasn't okay with that, wasn't okay with him just giving up so quickly after coming so far. She grabbed his arm between her own and dragged him, biting out, "Let's go then, dumb-dumb."

He stumbled after her, letting her drag him, but he didn't fight her on it. Azula dimly wondered if he had any fight left in him at all.

* * *

It was colder than he had imagined it.

Sure, Zuko had imagined a place like nothing he had ever seen or been to before. That much had been lectured into him by Iroh and Aang both.

But he never would have anticipated just how cold it was - not just in temperature, but in everything else.  
Azula's hands on his arm were anything but, however. They were hot, hotter than they should have been, and her broken nails dug into his flesh with no mercy. She practically dragged him after her as she walked - no, _strode_ - along through the shallow pools and murky waters beneath their feet, her eyes set and determined, her mouth a set line. Sometimes, without control, her lips would turn down or up, and occasionally her eyes would flash and her fingers would twitch, but she never lost control. Despite these small signs, they never graduated into anything beyond those simple tics.

Zuko couldn't help but think back to that horrible day, the day she lost it all, and be amazed by how she had managed to put it behind her.

_No,_ he thought, watching her eyes flick around, looking for some sign of life, _not put it behind her. It's like she made it a part of herself._

He smiled a little. If he looked deep enough, he could see - just a bit - a tiny shred of the carefree girl she had been once.

Suddenly, she stopped. Her eyes were fixed on something, narrowed and sharp, and Zuko blinked, then followed her gaze, momentarily confused. Several yards away was something that looked like a wavering cloud of mist, hidden in a pocket of unfortunate-coloured foliage. Zuko pulled his arm away, straightening to his full height and moving forward, entranced all of a sudden. There was something about the shimmer of the mist that enticed him, something made him _want_ to get lost in the smoky tendrils...

"Zuko."

It was like...if he kept going, he wouldn't have to worry about _anything_...

"Zuko!"

Nothing could faze him if he was centred in the embrace of it..._nothing..._

_"Zuko!"_

Azula's voice was so sharp and loud that it jolted right through him, as effective as any of her lightning strikes. He blinked, then stopped. His hands were out; when had he raised them? His eyes focused before him, and saw that he was only a few feet away. "But..." he said softly, his voice sounding weird. "It's so warm..."

"_Idiot,_" Azula's hands went to his arms and pulled them down. With a shove, she pushed him away from the cloud and got right into his face. Zuko blinked slowly...then realised what he had almost done.

_"Be wary of _everything_ that seems enticing, Nephew,"_ Iroh had said, his eyes serious and his voice firm. _"The Spirit World can offer much, but it does not always follow through."_

"If _I'm _the sane one in this group then we are _both_ in trouble," Azula spat, giving him another shove and rolling her eyes, walking past him and into another direction. "Come on, you idiot!"

Zuko followed, wondering distantly if she was right.

* * *

They walked in silence, both afraid to speak lest they scare a source of information away. Well, Azula was sure that that was Zuko's reason for quiet; hers was a little more suspect.

_I'm afraid of what I might say...I'm afraid I might say something I'll regret..._

But it had been an hour, and so far neither had seen any signs of Roku.

"Augh," Zuko grumbled suddenly, stopping in the middle of a particularly swampy-looking patch. His hands went to his hair and tugged, his eyes squeezed shut. Azula had to watch this with some amusement - his temper tantrums had stayed the same, at least. "This is impossible! Aang said it would be easy to find Avatar Roku, but it's like looking for..."

"A dragon?" Azula supplied with a smile.

Zuko scowled at her, but acceded to her point. "Yes," he admitted. "If I had known it would be this hard I would have brought him along. Apparently Roku just _popped up_ whenever Aang was around."

Azula frowned, looking around her with her arms crossed. "You'd think that as his kin we would be welcome here."

Zuko lowered his hands from his hair, turning to her with such a pensive look that it made her look at him. "Do you think we're not?"

She blinked. "I'm not sure," she admitted. "I just...don't see any other reason why we haven't been greeted yet." Zuko's face darkened, and so she went on, feeling a bite of impatience. "Look, Zuko, it's not like Great-Granddaddy has ever been forthcoming with us before, so why should he start now? Especially when we _need_ him. If he's anything like his descendants, then of _course_ he won't be there when we need him..."

The words fell from her mouth unsummoned, but they got Zuko's attention. "Wait, what do you mean?" he asked, his eyes wide.

"I mean," she went on, some small part of her relishing in the fact that his bewilderment was a result of her words. "That just like Mother, Roku won't be here when we need him. He's run off, gone away, hidden himself even when things are looking good and could finally be resolved." Her voice went razor-sharp, but she didn't hear it. All she could see was her mother's back. "It's no surprise, really. It had to come from somewhere."

She shut her mouth, pressing her lips together before she could start screaming. She knew the signs, and had done it just in time - her last words had gone shrill. Still, within her breast, her anger raged, and her palms burned and itched.

Still, it hurt. She wondered if it would forever...

* * *

Zuko watched her, feeling a heavy weight in his chest. He could see that even now, even after all of this time, Azula still had trouble thinking about the past. He held out his hand. "Why don't we just...head back?" he said softly.

Azula's head jerked up, her eyes wide, her mouth pulled back into a snarl. "Why would you say that?" she demanded. "Why would you even suggest that? You _know_ how important this is for the both of us! _Don't treat me like a child, Zuko!"_ And she lunged forward, slapping his hand away.

The sound echoed through emptiness, and Zuko winced, rubbing his hand slowly. "Ow," he muttered needlessly. "You know, Azula, even now, you can be a real bitch."

Azula's eyes flared and went right to his, and he met them, his own eyes narrowed. He crossed his arms over his chest and just looked at her, inwardly daring her to start something - anything - that would relieve her of her stress and help her focus on their search. "You think _I'm-_," she spluttered out, before her words choked into laughter, loud and unrestrained. Zuko froze, unsure if the laughter was a warning or real, but he didn't have long to wait. Her laughs trailed off, and she wiped the tears from her eyes, smiling widely at him. "I _am_, Zuzu," she said now, her voice imperial and rich. "And don't forget it."

Zuko smiled a little, wondering if he ever could forget such a thing. "Right," he agreed slowly. "But what do we do now?"

Azula seemed to consider it, her eyes forever searching around them. "Well, I don't know about you, but I'm not done yet until I at least know for sure about Mother."

Zuko nodded slowly, unable to disagree with that. "But how?" he added, holding his hands out helplessly.

Azula smiled thinly, her eyes sparking with an old kind of passion that Zuko hadn't seen in many, many years. "We suck it up and hunt it out, Zuzu," she answered.

He opened his mouth to protest, but she turned away from him, calling out a curt, "Let's go."

He had no choice but to follow.

* * *

Azula had spoken bravely, but inside her guts were in knots. She wasn't sure _what_ she wanted, really. She wanted to see if Ursa was dead, but she also _didn't_ want to see. She wanted to talk to her mother if she could, but at the same time was afraid of the very idea of doing such a thing.

It was all very confusing.

"Azula?"

Zuko's bewildered voice dragged her out of her state, and she turned to him. He was standing a bit away, his eyes wide and staring ahead. e pointed outwards. "Do you see that?"

She bit back an impatient reply and turned to look, squinting through the murky light. She was about to snap that she didn't see anything when her eyes fell on some kind of shadow that was moving...and it seemed _darker_ than the shadows surrounding it.

"Yes," she replied slowly, her nails digging into hot and itchy palms. "Shall we investigate?"

Zuko smiled. "I think we should."

Together, they walked towards the shadowy patch, careful not to lose their footing or lose sight of it. They walked in silence, both nervous and confused. Azula could taste the tension in the air, marveling at how it used to give her such excitement, only to now giver her such confusion and trepidation.

Once there, Zuko stopped. Azula stood beside him, and both peered down to look at the strange shadowy shape. It danced and flowed beneath their feet, shifting backwards if it came close to touching them. "What _is_ it?" Zuko wondered, squatting down to take a closer look.

Azula's hand reached out and dragged him back by the phoenix tail before a black wisp touched Zuko's shoulder. She practically _threw_ him behind her and held out her other hand, her fingers sparking blue. "_Dammit_, Zuko!" she snapped, unable to keep her words buried in her exasperation. "_Stop causing trouble!"_

Zuko scrambled to his feet, but Azula didnt move from there she stood. Mesmerised, she watched as the inky expanse before her rose up from the depths and slowly took the shape of a man.

_"That's interesting,"_ a voice said softly as the form materialised. "Bending in the Spirit World?"

Slowly, the features cleared and took form of an elderly Fire Nation man. Azula lowered her hand, unsure but guessing that this had to be Roku. Her thoughts were confirmed when Zuko bowed once more. She, however, did not.

"Avatar Roku?" she said instead, narrowing her eyes. She had been expecting someone more...formidable. Daunting. Someone teeming with power.

"Princess Azula," the spirit replied, and a twinge went through her at hearing her title after so long. She tried not to show it, but knew that it must have. His eyes moved to the side where Zuko stood, still bowed. "Firelord Zuko," he added with a small smile.

Zuko straightened up and smiled back. "Avatar Roku!" he replied, the excitement apparent in his voice, despite his age. "We've been looking everywhere for you."

Roku held up a hand. "Sometimes, spirits are not meant to be found. Other times, however, when the living show a certain...persistence..." and here he looked over at Azula with a carefully blank look. "Well, it's then that we have trouble looking away."  
"If you knew we were here to see you, you should have acknowledged us from the start," Azula said sharply. "We are family, after all."

Zuko glared at her; obviously he didn't think this kind of attitude was appropriate, but she didn't care. It irritated her that Roku was just watching as she and Zuko wandered around. She didn't care; she wanted answers, and she was tired of chasing them.

Roku took it easily enough. He sighed and seemed to think about it. "Perhaps it was out of self-preservation, since it appears you're breaking all natural laws and bending here," he answered, raising a brow. Instantly, Azula's annoyance faded form that one remark; if the Avatar was willing to joke around on her behalf, then things aren't as dire as they seemed to be, right?

_And that's what you're afraid of, isn't it?_

She throttled that thought. It would do no good to think that way.

"Avatar Roku," Zuko broke in, taking the chance to speak before Azula could. "We're...here for more than just a visit."

"I gathered," Roku answered easily. "Two living members of the royal family very rarely come here just for fun."

"We want to know-," Azula started, but then she stopped. The words just dried up in her throat, and she nearly choked on them. _I want to know what happened to Mother...don't I?_

_Don't I?_

Zuko looked at her, looking mildly surprised by her stopping in mid-sentence. He seemed to understand - something - for he reached over and took her hand in his. Normally, she would have balked at that, slapped his hand away or snapped at him, but instead she found her hand tightening around his without much thought. His hand was warm and dry, as usual, and it comforted her.

"Our mother," Zuko said softly, now looking at Roku's slightly transparent form. "Your granddaughter. Is she...here? Or is she alive?"

There. It was out. Azula felt herself exhale slowly, as if the question was suffocating her.

Roku blinked slowly, then held out his hands, his palms open and empty. "What would you do if she was?" he said softly. "Would it make a difference?"

Zuko opened his mouth, then closed it. Azula didn't have such a problem. "Yes, it would! Of course it would!" she snapped. "If she's dead we can move on with our lives! We can stop waiting, we can stop holding our breaths and finally look beyond the memory of her back!"

Zuko stared at her, his hand still in hers. He said nothing, but she could see it in his eyes: he was ashamed, but that was how he felt, too.

Roku lowered his hands, his face carefully blank. Azula hated that about him, hated that he could keep calm and cool and not show anything, while what she _felt_ was _everything._ If she could slap him, she would have, that was how angry she was.

"Well?" Azula pressed. "Is she dead?"

"Yes," Roku said softly, his facial expression carefully blank. "She died a long time ago."

Beside her, Zuko simply dropped to his knees, uttering a gasping noise and putting his hands to his face. Azula turned and stared at him, her mouth slightly open, unsure of what it was that she felt. Was it grief? Sadness? Anger? Or was it relief? Was it calm? Was it a sense of...gladness? Freedom? The idea that her mother would never have to see her this way?

For a moment, she stood there silently, listening to Zuko weep without control beside her. She felt for him, especially since he and their mother were close, but she also didn't quite understand him. _He knew this was an option,_ she thought. _So why is he taking it so hard?_

"How did it happen?" she asked instead, turning her gaze to Roku. She told herself that it was to help her focus, but inwardly she knew it was so that she didn't have to watch her brother cry.

Roku gazed at her, looking at her with...was that _pity?_ "I'm not quite sure," he admitted. "Even a spirit as old as I has trouble keeping track of friends and family. She passed through here so quickly, without lingering, and I have no idea where she went - if she went at all. If she is here, she evades me."

Zuko lowered himself further into the ground, getting dirty with sticky mud. Azula marveled at that -_ how can anyone get dirty here, in a place that doesn't obey normal laws?_ But she said nothing out loud. Instead, she leaned over and placed her hand on Zuko's shoulder lightly. _I really should be feeling something,_ she realised, her eyes once again on her brother. _I _know _I should be feeling something...but I feel _nothing...

Roku looked at Zuko closely. "Firelord Zuko, why are you saddened by this?"

The man in question looked up, his face streaked with tears, his face a mask of anguish. He looked as if he wondered how Roku could ask such a thing. "I never even got to say goodbye," he choked out. "I never got to thank her, I never got to prove to her that I could grow up and be _something..._"

"Dumb-dumb," Azula suddenly broke in softly. "She knew that when you were small. Why else would she have done all of that for you?" She felt a mix of annoyance and envy towards him - he got to grieve for their mother, and she? She got to feel nothing.

_Except...maybe I'm jealous. Maybe I'm jealous of the fact that Zuko gets a precious memory of her, and all I get is the memory that broke me. He has less to regret, because even though we proved her right, I proved her right in the wrong ways..._

Zuko, however, reached up and grabbed onto her hand, his grip tight and cold. He kept silent, coughing a little on his tears.

She found that she envied that, too.

* * *

After Roku's grim admission, there was little reason to stay. Zuko believed the Avatar, that Ursa was no longer in the Spirit World - or that if she was, they would never find her. Zuko and Azula walked back together, led by one of Aang's spirit friends - Hei Bai or some such. Zuko wasn't quite all there, really. He was a million miles away, and yet he was also inches too close. He felt raw and frustrated and helpless.

Azula's hand was cold in his. That was strange all in itself. For as long as they had been brother and sister, her hands had always been hot, almost too hot, to the touch. But now, they were cold. When he looked at her from the corner of his eye, she looked normal...all but for a tightness around her eyes. That was also strange.

But none of it mattered, because his mother was dead.

He _knew_ he had come here to learn the truth. He _knew_ that he needed that closure, that it would always haunt him into his late years if he never got it. But he had always thought that - somehow - his mother would find a way back to him. _Somehow_, he didn't care how. He had just always thought that she would, when she was ready to, come back.

But she wasn't coming back.

Zuko followed the giant black and white spirit numbly, his grasp on Azula's hand limp. He felt a staggering and painless apathy threaten him, one that chilled him deep in his bones but couldn't shake. He hoped it was temporary. He hoped it would go away.

He _needed_ it to go away...

* * *

Azula felt the transition this time. It was messier, harder to ease through. She didn't mind - the degree of discomfort rooted her to reality, which was something she needed. She already felt some of her control slipping; it happened sometimes, when she hadn't had enough time to rest, and she had way too much time to think. The quiet serenity of Zuko's altar didn't help matters, either. If anything, she just wanted to break it.

Zuko sat before it, hunched over, his hand still holding hers limply, his eyes closed and his face drawn.

"Zuzu," she said pressingly, feeling helpless and annoyed by his look of depression. She wanted to get a rise out of him. She wanted him to look up and stop being sad. She wanted him to look _ahead_, like she was, instead of looking _back_. "Zuzu," she said again, harder. She clutched at his hand harder. "Hey, Dumb-dumb, I'm talking to you!"

He didn't answer or move. He just sat there.

"_Zuko!"_

Her voice lashed out like the harshest whip, hurting even her own ears. Zuko winced, his face crumpling and his body shifting away from her, like she was too hot to be near. She felt her palms itch, her stomach roil with heat, and she wondered distantly if it were true. "What!" he snarled back, turning to her, his eyes blazing bright yellow. "Can't you give me _just a moment?"_

_"No,"_ she snapped. "Because if I do, you won't come back."

He blinked, shock replacing the fury on his face so fast that she had to marvel at that. _How wonderful it must be to allow emotions to run their course.._. "Won't come back?" he echoed.

"Right," she answered, pushing herself to her feet and stretching out slowly, feeling her limbs tingle as the blood returned. She didn't look at him; instead, her eyes fell on the effigy of Agni. "Like Uncle, when Lu Ten died. It can't be you, too."

She felt his gaze on her, knowing that he was remembering that long spell of time that Iroh just..._shut down_ following the deaths of Lu Ten and Azulon. "That's not what I'm doing," he protested, though he sounded...unsure.

"Mother is dead, probably," Azula answered back, keeping her voice soft and empty. "But you and I are still alive. Isn't that what she wanted in the first place, Zuko?"

From the corner of her eye, she saw him lower his head, his face crumpled again and his teeth clenched. He said nothing, but she knew she was right, and knew that he knew it, too. "We needed closure, both of us. Now we have it. It's painful closure, but it's still the kind we needed."

She looked back to Agni, her eyes trailing over the details of the carved and painted face. She started when Zuko got to his feet and stood closer to her, and when she looked up, his face was still drawn.

"Azula," he said softly. "You're crying."

She blinked, shocked. With a shaking hand, she touched her cheek, her fingertips coming back wet. She swallowed, the sound coupled with a faint whimper, and she clamped her teeth together, struggling to strangle it. _I felt nothing before...why do I feel everything now?_

When Zuko's arms went around her, she practically leapt into them. When he hugged her close, the tears ran free.


	16. Spiritual Guidance, Part Two

**Part Two**

It was Mai's idea, one that Zuko never would have thought of, but one that Mai had thought obvious. "It's all well and good that you two get your own private closure," she said plainly to both Zuko and Azula, a few hours after they had come back. "But the Nation needs one, too."

Azula looked at her nails casually. Any trace of the sad and broken woman that she had been a few hours previous was long gone now, and Zuko wondered how she did it. "They've assumed that Mother has been dead for well over a decade, Mai," she replied, sounding bored. "What difference does it make to have it confirmed?"

"Except that everyone knows the real story by now," Zuko answered. It was practically common knowledge by now, something that went hand-in-hand with Zuko's own life story - one that the entire world knew by heart by now.

"Exactly," Mai said calmly, looking not at all phased by Azula's caustic argument. "A memorial service is what we need, and it's what we're having. Attend or abstain all you like - but it's happening."

"Wait," Azula's hand dropped suddenly. "Will it be a public or a private reception?"

Mai glanced at Zuko, who was already glancing back at her. He knew what she was silently speculating, and he silently agreed. "Public," he said. "We'll personally invite all of our friends and allies, but anyone else who knew her is welcome to come along, too."

"Ah," Azula nodded, her eyes looking suddenly panicked. She stood up from her seat slowly, then just turned and walked away without another word.

This wasn't as puzzling as it could have been. Mai cupped her chin in her hand. "She knows we're going to invite Ty Lee," she said flatly.

Zuko nodded. He wasn't sure what had happened between the two of them all of those years ago, but _something_ had happened not too long after Azula's admittance into the asylum - something that not even Ty Lee would talk about, even when asked. "Should we hold off inviting her?"

"No," Mai answered, her eyes on the door that Azula had just left from. "This is about closure, right? Well, let's offer it - from all angles."

* * *

The service was dull.

The entire courtyard was a sea of white - even Zuko's friends were dressed in shades of it, though their clothes were styled in their own way. The Fire Sages said a few words, then Zuko - as Firelord - said much more than a few words, before breaking down and stopping himself, his words no longer comprehensible through a voice choked by tears. Then a pyre draped in white was engulfed in flames - purely ceremonial, since all it had was a picture of Ursa in her youth upon it. Azula watched as her brother kept his eyes glued to the pyre, held between Mai and Iroh, Kaida hovering close by her mother. While Zuko watched the pyre, Azula watched him.

After the last of the flames went out, the crowd began to disperse. Azula stayed where she was, keeping herself aloof from the royal family, despite knowing, deep down, that Zuko and Mai would have welcomed her at their sides. Instead, she turned her eyes to the front row, where the line of Zuko's friends stood. Her eyes didn't linger on any of them - she didn't care - but when her eyes fell on a single figure with large eyes and a wide mouth, she froze. There stood Ty Lee, looking barely a decade older, her usually happy face drawn with deep grief. She had known Ursa - known her well - and had probably hoped that she would return someday, too. Ty Lee's naivete was something Azula had both hated and exploited, much like she had Zuko's, but now she envied it.

She wondered what it was like to have that kind of hope.

Azula hadn't forgotten what had happened all of those years ago. Or, rather - she wouldn't let herself forget, no matter how much she wanted to. Everything that had happened had been her fault, and she didn't blame her former best friend - and sometimes more - from steering clear and never coming back.

There had been hateful words, hateful actions, violence and fury and fire - with Ty Lee helpless in its centre, doing everything she could to remain, even if it meant Azula's health at the cost of her own. For two months Ty Lee had put up with Azula's insanity, put up with it in its rawest form without flinching. That is, until Azula had shrieked the words that had burned hotter than her fire.

_"You were useless to me! You were nothing to me! I never loved you, never loved anything about you! If it meant profit in the end, I would have killed you myself! Killed you, and enjoyed it!"_

Lies. All of it. She was so hurt and so angry still, resentful of Ty Lee for betraying her, hateful of her for stopping Azula from killing Mai, who had chosen her brother over her..._just like Mother._

But Ty Lee's face shone with tears that day. She took the verbal onslaught in silence, getting to her feet and leaving once the last word spilled from Azula's lips. And after that, silence. Ty Lee never came back.

Until now.

A warm hand suddenly touched hers, and she started, looking towards it to find her niece staring at her. "What are you looking at, Aunt Azula?" Kaida wondered softly.

"The past," Azula answered without thinking.

* * *

It took a while for Zuko to calm down enough to visit with his friends, and even then he couldn't do it for long - he found he didn't have the strength to. He felt as if the entire day had sucked him dry of any strength he ever had. Even when Kaida picked a fight with Tyana in order to loosen the tension in the air (or at least, that was what he _thought_ she was doing - she could have just picked a fight in general), he still felt like a sleepwalker, weighed down by grief.

It was only when he had thrown himself down on the closest piece of furniture that he noticed that Azula was missing. She had been a constant at his side throughout it all, hovering along the edges in silence, her presence silent but heavy, almost comforting. However, along the way, he had lost sight of her, and now she was nowhere to be found. He sat up and made a move to get to his feet, but Mai stopped him.

"She's in the courtyard," she said softly, her hand on his chest. "With Ty Lee."

Zuko stared, his eyes wide. "You're joking."

She smiled a little. "No. She followed Ty Lee there shortly after the service."

Zuko closed his eyes. "Should we send a guard or two?"

Mai shook her head, sitting down beside him. Without hesitation, he leaned in close, and she wrapped her arms around him and held him to her. "She'll be fine."

A pause. Then, "Zuko, I'm sorry about your mother."

Zuko nuzzled in close, sliding his arms around her waist. She had said it before, but hearing it now helped. It helped more than anything else she could do or say.

* * *

The braid was like a beacon of light, one that Azula followed without hesitation. It was a braid that was still brown, although a trace lighter in some parts, a braid that was still long and that still bounced as the owner of it walked.

Halfway into the courtyard of their childhood, Ty Lee stopped, her hands clenched into fists at her sides, her back still to Azula. Azula stopped as well, her heart racing in her breast. All of those feelings she had wished to feel in the Spirit World - the regret, the sadness, the yearning to change the past - crashed into her now, and she almost staggered from it. The only thing keeping her from collapsing and succumbing to the need to rage and give in was the sight of that white-clad figure with her back to her.

"What do you want?" Ty Lee suddenly snapped out, her voice almost the same as it had been back then, only a trace deeper, a trace more tired. She turned on her heel effortlessly and glared at Azula, the fierceness of her glare rendering the other girl speechless. "Why are you following me?"

Azula said nothing, afraid to say a word.

"For someone who is worthless to you, you sure have a way of showing it," Ty Lee went on, her fists at her hips, the stiff and unworn white robes bunching a little. "I know I mean nothing to you, and I know you don't care about me, especially now. I didn't come here for you, so don't waste your breath yelling at me. I came from Mai, and Zuko. I know better than to poke a buzzard-wasp's hive."

_Say something,_ her mind suddenly cried, realising that she probably should. _Say something, say anything to keep her here. Say something!_

But nothing came out. Ty Lee's fury was visible on her face - her emotions always were - and Azula realised that Ty Lee had spent the entire time apart nursing her hurt and resentment for Azula, all without her knowing or realising. She had always assumed that, out of anyone, it would be Ty Lee who would forgive her the quickest, and it would be Ty Lee who would be at her side forever.

_What an idiot I've been..._

"So, what do you want?" Ty Lee demanded, her voice high-pitched with her resentment. "Come to tell me I'm useless again? Come to tell me I'm nothing again?"

"No," Azula managed, feeling her entire body sag a little in defeat. "I just...wanted to..."

"What? You wanted to what?"

"Say sorry." The word was foreign to her lips, like an archaic language she had to learn for school but didn't really care about the meaning too much. Except she really _did_ care - and she really needed Ty Lee to care, too.

The words stopped the other girl. She stared at Azula. "Sorry?" she echoed, disbelief naked in her tone.

"Yeah," Azula looked away, the look in Ty Lee's eyes too painful to meet head-on. "Back then...when I said those things. I was wrong. You're not worthless. You're not useless. _I_ was - and am."

"What?" came the reply, the voice soft and full of bewilderment. Azula refused to look up.

"I had lost everything..." Azula's voice caught, and she sighed, shutting her eyes in frustration. "I had lost you, too. I couldn't take it anymore."

"But, Azula..."

Softly callused hands - familiar hands - suddenly held her own, but she refused to open her eyes. She refused to face it, to admit it.

"You hadn't lost me then. I only left because you hated me - or I thought you did. I had thought that _I _had lost _you_."

Azula's head jerked up, her eyes snapping open. She glared at Ty Lee, the old embers of anger flaring to life. "So you just left me alone, left me to assume that you were done with me? is that how you show loyalty to your princess?"

Ty Lee, however, was smiling, her face lit with a deep glow hat Azula had never seen before. Her eyes were full. "Ah," she said, her voice softer than the softest summer breeze. "There she is."

And when Ty Lee hugged her, she found she didn't cry - not like she had with Zuko. instead, to her surprise and delight, she _laughed_. She laughed with relief, with joy, with victory. She laughed from the knowledge that there was no turning back, that no matter what she did, or had done, it meant little now. Now...she had been the one to seek retribution _first_. And to Ty Lee, who was once burned and twice shy, that meant the world.

* * *

When Zuko was much older, and the past was merely shadows, he often went back to that day, the day he emotionally laid his mother to rest. Of all of the encounters that he had come across, that day had been the most taxing, the most challenging. No political scandal matched it, no familial conflict came close. Acceptance was a hard thing, harder still if you hoped for the opposite of what you had to accept.

But he also remembered his sister, how, on that day, she had forever changed.

He knew that Ty Lee had had something to do with it, especially since the two women were rarely seen without each other after that. Ty Lee nursed the burden of Azula's still-lingering insanity, but she nursed it with stronger skin and even stronger passion. With Ty Lee there, Azula's rages lessened. Mai had figured as much - she had admitted to Zuko once that she was pretty sure that Azula and Ty Lee were symbiotic, something that had made Zuko laugh and laugh.

With the heavy grief of his mother's death still fresh that day, the joy of seeing his sister's best friend and more return into her life was enough to bear it. Iroh had been right when he always said that grief often gave birth to hope, even in the darkest of moments.

For the first time in over a decade, Zuko could look at his family - his full family, complete with both his friends, his uncle, and finally, his sister - and feel the hope that was born from grief.


End file.
